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I am about to lose my s**t.

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  • I am about to lose my s**t.

    Warning: language. A lot of it. I'm mad.




    I just got home from school, seething with rage over how big of a shitfucker this guy was.

    I was waiting at a stoplight. The street ahead has two lanes that merge into the left lane, with a very little space to start merging. I am in the right (soon to be gone) lane, Dicklicker McFuck (DMF) is in the left lane, in a shitty-ass piece of shit hoopty truck with a gigantic trailer filled to the brim with all sorts of stupid goddamn bullshit. As we get the green, I start to run out of road. DMF guns his shitheap and pulls ahead of me, making me STOP and let his dumb ass and his shit trailer go. Strike 1.

    Later, he ends up in a similar situation, with me in the left lane, he in the right, stoplight, right-lane merging, like before. He gets to the stoplight before I do, behind a few cars. As I'm pulling up to the car in front of me, DMF tries to change to my lane, WHILE I'M RIGHT BESIDE HIM. There was no blind spot situation here, I was in his mirror, he just didn't look. He didn't get over, and ended up a few cars behind me. Strike 2, but a small win for me.

    Finally, here's the part where I start to lose it. DMF ends up directly behind me on a VERY dangerous, VERY curvy road, and proceeds to lodge himself snugly up my ass the whole way through. I was doing 10 mph over the limit trying to get away from this motherfucker, but he would not back off. Strike 3.

    I lost him only because he decided to break the law and use a gas station parking lot to turn onto the next road. My voice and middle finger hurt so bad.
    Last edited by Gawdzillers; 09-26-2008, 02:49 PM.
    "We were put on this Earth to fart around, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise." -Kurt Vonnegut

  • #2
    Quoth Gawdzillers View Post
    I was doing 10 mph over the limit trying to get away from this motherfucker, but he would not back off. Strike 3.
    No...you slow down and call the highway patrol!

    What an ass. I hate guys in dickmobiles.
    "Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds..."

    Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance.

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    • #3
      Ugh. I hate drivers like that. Sorry some redneck Kentucky driver got loose and caused you trouble. If you see him again, run over him for me?
      I am no longer of capable of the emotion you humans call “compassion”. Though I can feign it in exchange for an hourly wage. (Gravekeeper)

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      • #4
        Quoth jedimaster91 View Post
        Ugh. I hate drivers like that. Sorry some redneck Kentucky driver got loose and caused you trouble. If you see him again, run over him for me?
        That sounds more like a redneck Wisconsin driver to me.

        People in this state, as a general rule, DO NOT know how to drive. I have no other explanation why I keep getting cut off by people who then insist on driving half a mile an hour on their way to the All You Can Gum special at the supper club.
        Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

        "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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        • #5
          Quoth spookysonata View Post
          No...you slow down and call the highway patrol!
          i second that never speed up

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          • #6
            Oh no, that HAS to be some douche waffle Virginia/DC driver. Honest to dog, I have never seen more inconsiderate, moronic drivers in my quarter of a decade of life!

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            • #7
              Quoth Sliceanddice View Post
              i second that never speed up
              Actually, speeding up a little would be the better choice...slowing down increases the chance that fuckwad could rear-end you or get into some other accident. However, you only speed up until it's safe to let him go by, then drop back to your chosen speed.

              Also, slowing down could get you an "obstruction" or "endangerment" ticket, which carries a larger fine than speeding. Search the Boston Globe archives for a similar case in 1997 involving 2 drivers on I-93 who got ticked for it for going 55 in a 55 when the average speed of traffic at the time was near 70.
              DJ Particle

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              • #8
                Quoth EmiOfBrie View Post
                Search the Boston Globe archives for a similar case in 1997 involving 2 drivers on I-93 who got ticked for it for going 55 in a 55 when the average speed of traffic at the time was near 70.
                I should bring that up to our cops. Average speed on our interstates is 70-80 even though the limit is 55, and I get pulled over for going 74. No ticket luckily, but still.
                I am no longer of capable of the emotion you humans call “compassion”. Though I can feign it in exchange for an hourly wage. (Gravekeeper)

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                • #9
                  I gotta agree with IPF.

                  Just this morning, some idiot older woman was leaving a mini mall, did NOT even look to see if anyone was coming, just started plunging out into traffic. I was about 20 feet away.

                  I had to slam on my breaks and VEER into opposing traffic, nearly getting hit, as they had to swerve way to the right to let me swerve way to the left to avoid hitting that stupid cow.

                  I think I peed a little.

                  The kicker?

                  Once she realized what she'd done, she fucking gunned it and was out of sight within seconds.
                  You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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                  • #10
                    If someone is tailgating me, I go exactly the speed limit. Exactly what the road signs say, no more, no less.

                    Slamming on the brakes is a bad idea, but slowing down gradually should give the person the hint, and it should also make things safer for you. If everyone is driving slower then there's a bit more reaction time in case you need to stop suddenly...also, its like giving the guy the finger while breaking no laws.

                    I would call the highway patrol if you have a cell phone handy. I myself am a cell phone luddite, but lots of people have 'em. We need more people to report dangerous and/or stupid drivers, and get them off the road.

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                    • #11
                      If I get a tailgater, and I'm not yet close to where I'm going to be making my next turn, I respond by giving a tap on the brake, enough so my brakelights flash at them. Nine times out of ten, the tailgater backs off.

                      If they don't back off, I tap again, and then gradually slow down. They either back off, or they take the next opportunity to go around me. Either way, I don't have to deal with them.
                      PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                      There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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                      • #12
                        Quoth jedimaster91 View Post
                        I should bring that up to our cops. Average speed on our interstates is 70-80 even though the limit is 55, and I get pulled over for going 74. No ticket luckily, but still.
                        Yeah, it really is a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation. Remember the city is a business that needs money too, and this is partly how they do it, this loophole in the traffic laws.
                        DJ Particle

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                        • #13
                          Quoth EmiOfBrie View Post
                          Actually, speeding up a little would be the better choice...slowing down increases the chance that fuckwad could rear-end you or get into some other accident. However, you only speed up until it's safe to let him go by, then drop back to your chosen speed.
                          Yeah, I considered tapping my brakes, but he was so far up my ass that it would have been impossible to avoid an accident.
                          "We were put on this Earth to fart around, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise." -Kurt Vonnegut

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                          • #14
                            Better idea: just release the throttle a bit. Don't use the brakes, just give yourself the extra room in front of you. It also means that if he fails to notice you slowing down, he'll hit you - but gently. If he *is* paying attention, you can get him down to the speed limit at least.

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                            • #15
                              I would suggest from a road safety perspective that if you are on a single carriageway road and you have a tailgater it is a more prudent action to maintain the appropriate speed for the prevailing road conditions while noting the maximum speed limit.

                              If you're going to fast for the road conditions or going faster than the limit and you do crunch because he's so close then the resulting crash *WILL* be worse than a more appropriate speed.
                              A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

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