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CAUTION! Genius behind wheel!

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  • CAUTION! Genius behind wheel!

    The other day, while out and about, I decided to get some sandwich goodness at the local subway.

    I was going through the local mall and encountered a couple trying to load their new mattress purchase on top of their SUV.

    First issue: They are using twine to try to hold a mattress on the roof.
    Second issue: While they did have the bright idea of tying it to the body instead of just the roof racks, they were running the twine through the open windows of the 4 doors.......With the doors still closed.

    Yes, folks, while they did try to manage to tie the mattress down, they also tied the doors closed.

    And they have a driver's license. <sigh>

    B
    "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."- Albert Einstein.
    I never knew how happy paint could make people until I started selling it.

  • #2
    You should've stuck around to see them try to get back into their vehicle.

    Actually, now I am feeling evil (or maybe it's just fever, damn cold I'm coming down with) and wishing I can do that to customers who bring an inadequately-sized vehicle for the item they bought and instruct me to tie it to the roof.
    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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    • #3
      FILM IT! FILM IT!
      Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

      Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

      Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

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      • #4
        When I was at Hechinger's, I got to see *plenty* of people do things like that. Nearly every night, someone would tie their doors shut. Worse, were the ones who would insist on doing it themselves...and would later return to bitch when the load shifted, or came off
        Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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        • #5
          This is why I was so glad the place I got my bed from delivered.
          Unseen but seeing
          oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
          There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
          3rd shift needs love, too
          RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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          • #6
            This is why delivery exists.

            My husband and I have no need for a giant SUV so when we get something big we have it delivered (if possible) or we go borrow his dad's truck and fill up the tank.
            "It's not what your doing so much as the idiotic way your doing it." Vincent Valentine from Final Fantasy 7.

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            • #7
              If it weren't for the fact that the SUV I saw with a mattrass tied on it was only being driven by a lone blonde, I'd think we had seen the same thing.

              I was going to class last night and a woman was going about 45mph on the highway with a mattrass about to fly off the roof of her SUV. My mom and I drove past her and the mattrass was acutally at an angle up in the air about to slip of the SUV. It was amazing. The woman driving didn't seem to notice the potiental multicar pile up that was about to happen because of her stupidity.
              Honey and Thorns ~ Handmade Knit and Jewelry

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              • #8
                Reminds me of the Stupid Kayak People. This summer as we were driving up to the Poconos we got stuck in a tunnel behind the SKP. They'd tied their kayak down with a necktie and some twine. it was kicking up at about a 45 degree angle every time the accelerated. Luckily it didn't come flying off, at least not while we were behind them.
                The High Priest is an Illusion!

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                • #9
                  I've seen idiots with licences attempting to tie stuff to their car. My favourite is still the guy at the gas station who was squeezing his tires to see if they needed air. Seriously.
                  It is a terrible thing to see and have no vision.
                  -Helen Keller

                  I got this av from Court Records, made by Croik!

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                  • #10
                    Quoth Mamadrae View Post
                    This is why delivery exists.

                    My husband and I have no need for a giant SUV so when we get something big we have it delivered (if possible) or we go borrow his dad's truck and fill up the tank.
                    That's what we do. Either use my S-10 or see if we can borrow mom's Blazer or dad's Ram.

                    It's always great to have connections.
                    Answers are easy...it is asking the right questions which is hard.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth RedRoseSpiral View Post
                      I was going to class last night and a woman was going about 45mph on the highway with a mattrass about to fly off the roof of her SUV.
                      Ah... that would have been me, pushing twenty years ago. It was a learning experience. Learned extra well because it did fly off the roof— and smash across I-15— in between Salt Lake and Provo— the last weekend in August. One of the things I learned is that two people, sufficiently motivated, can clear the wreckage of a bed off an interstate in about four seconds.

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                      • #12
                        When I sell people some rope I always ask, "Who or what are you tying up?" (this is Frisko after all).
                        If they say a mattress I always tell them to
                        1. Tie it with the doors open (I've done that once)
                        2. Make sure they tie it in a triangle with the apex at the back (I usually have to explain the math term they should have learned in 10th grade)
                        and 3. If they are going more than a few blocks to pull over after a mile or so and re-tie it because ALL rope stretches.
                        I usually suggest sisal rope because it is cheap enough that when they get to where they are going and the knots have tightened up so much they can't get them loose they can just cut it off and toss it.
                        "What did you have for breakfast this morning? Carnation Instant Bitch?"
                        -Eric Foreman That 70's Show

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                        • #13
                          My mom and I were driving home from RI once and we spot a car with two mattresses on the roof.

                          The bottom mattress was held on with a rope two-thirds of the way down the length, and the top mattress was attached to the bottom one (just the mattress, not the car roof) with a single, thinner rope about halfway down the length. Top mattress was flapping merrily in the wind (~80MPH on Route 24).

                          We didn't stay behind that guy for long, it was quickly deemed possibly too risky to stay nearby and see if anything happened.
                          "I am quite confident that I do exist."
                          "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

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                          • #14
                            We sell mattresses at my store, and we supply twine at the front door for people to tie it down with.

                            Inevitably, I'll get people who will ask me to tie it down for them, or help tie it down, and I always tell them no, that all I'm allowed to do (if someone is covering the door) is help them load it into the car or on top of the car. But due to liability, I am not allowed to help tie it down.

                            I haven't heard of any customers losing the mattress off the top of their car because they didn't use enough twine, so presumably, they do it properly.

                            I always sigh when someone buys a bulky item and wants to fit it into a Honda Civic.

                            I did once have a woman by two small reclining chairs and actually manage to fit BOTH into a VW Bug. And I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't helped her do it.
                            PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                            There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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                            • #15
                              Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post

                              I always sigh when someone buys a bulky item and wants to fit it into a Honda Civic.
                              I once had to put a lawnmower in a Corvette. It wasn't that hard, just put it upside down in the back seat, but putting a lawn mower in a corvette made me want to . I was very experienced at putting stuff in people's cars at the time, so I didn't scratch anything, but I can't even guess as to whether or not they got it out with no scratches

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