IT's a job, not a Dating Service

[Qaeria]

Not sure if this is the right spot or not. The sighting is on the part of the actual Customer Service workers, and I want to avoid being an SC.

I frequent Save-On Foods / Overwaitea here for groceries and other essentials, but lately I have been having homicidal thoughts about the staff there lately. Twice now that I have directly witnessed, and the Wife has informed me of 3 other attempts. Now the "Attempts' range from seeking an honest date to just a mere "Hitting that" type of idea.

My wife and I are very close. I'm not the best thing to look at, but I don't break any mirrors, but my wife is, well, just gorgeous. I can't say I blame these boys from trying. In fact I usually laugh at their feeble attempts. However, I have been a regular customer with this company for well over 10 years now, and know the SM personally, and much of the staff. I believe that when a person is there to work, that is exactly what they should be doing. If you want to pick up women, do it on your own time, and at appropriate places.

Because I am a good, long standing customer, I know the SM will take a VERY heavy hand against these employees. I'm torn here. How can I do this so that these workers can learn from their mistakes, keep their jobs, and I stay a happy customer. I need some input. What do you think?

[fma_fanatic]

Report it, as a customer. You have a right to shop there, and they have the right to treat you and your wife as people, not a piece of meat. I'm sure you're not the first person who has had the same problem, and if that is the case, maybe the management is waiting for people to step forward.

I had the same issue with SOs store at one time. The meat manager would hit on any thing that was female, married or not. SO told the guy time and again to leave me alone. I finally had it one day when I happened to be shopping and he hit on me, not just flirt, but full on hit. I told him enough was enough, reported it to the district office. I'd reported it a few times before to the store manager, but this is the same guy who threatened to have SO canned one day for taking his break, so he did little or nothing at all to rectify the situation.

The guy ended up being let go a week or so later because he was making meat packages for himself and heavily discounting them.

[Qaeria]

UPDATE

Well I talked to the ASM as the SM was out on a convention for the week. There was a formal complaint, and such, however I refused to name or identify the culprits. The people that did this were new employees, so not hard to figure out, and all I wanted was for these young individuals to learn about professionalism, etc.

I felt so bad for making a complaint. I understand that it is a legitimate concern, but These are people too. Fortunately I have the assurance of the SM, that noone will be on the unemployment line.

I also turned down a $100 gift card, as I don't feel we need to benefit from this, just want to make sure people understand that there is a time and place for everything.

[bainsidhe]

I'm glad you were trying to be considerate of the employees. Please don't take this the wrong way, but what is your wife's reaction to the flirting? She (or if you're with her, even you) need to say right to the culprit that it's unappreciated. Did it happen just once? I'd be willing to forgive one occurance, but a repeat performance definitely needs addressed, which it sounds like you did. Hope everything works better from now on, I'm glad you found a store you enjoy frequenting, they can be hard to come by. Hopefully this complaint will give these specific employees a much needed dose of reality.

[blas]

I think it's just a sad and disgusting thing that people who are just trying to make ends meet and do their jobs have to deal with shit like this. It happens to a lot of people, male and female, of all ages.

And 99.99999999% of the time, they aren't "asking for it" or acting like they want that attention, no matter what pitiful defense the culprit may use.

[Qaeria]

I think it's just a sad and disgusting thing that people who are just trying to make ends meet and do their jobs have to deal with shit like this. It happens to a lot of people, male and female, of all ages.

And 99.99999999% of the time, they aren't "asking for it" or acting like they want that attention, no matter what pitiful defense the culprit may use.

Um, was that directed at my post? The way I read it, it states that I am the bad guy here. Please clarify.

Personally my wife and I don't appreciate either of us being treated like a piece of meat. It is unprofessional to be looking for love at your place of employment. I wanted to ensure my complaint would not have an adverse effect on the employees.

I could have used every card in the SC arsenal, but I didn't. I even refused the stores offer for a $100 gift card.

Plus I am one of those people just trying to make ends meet too.

Your comment may also be in support of mine too, so I just want you to clarify. Everyone can have an opinion (as long as it is mine *wink*)

[Qaeria]

I'm glad you were trying to be considerate of the employees. Please don't take this the wrong way, but what is your wife's reaction to the flirting? She (or if you're with her, even you) need to say right to the culprit that it's unappreciated. Did it happen just once? I'd be willing to forgive one occurance, but a repeat performance definitely needs addressed, which it sounds like you did. Hope everything works better from now on, I'm glad you found a store you enjoy frequenting, they can be hard to come by. Hopefully this complaint will give these specific employees a much needed dose of reality.

The wife on the whole has felt flattered for the most part. She is just uncomfortable that staff would approach her and ask for a date. She has never thought of these guys as creepy, but her and I decided that we did not need that sort of thing when we pick up our groceries. If we wanted to get laid, or go on dates, we would both be at the bar. Heck, I have had my share of some of the ladies wanting to get friendly with me, but once they know I am married, and very happily I might add, I never hear about it again.

There was one clerk that was stalker material though. Did not know anything about us, yet in his mind, he would be a better boy toy for my lady than I could ever hope at being. Those are the worst to deal with as there is usually teeth and other body parts flying in various directions.

[bainsidhe]

What's really troublesome is that these idiots acted this way in front of you. I mean, is that asking for a beating or what? Good thing you're better than that

[Canarr]

Personally my wife and I don't appreciate either of us being treated like a piece of meat. It is unprofessional to be looking for love at your place of employment.

I'd like to respectfully disagree there. While yes, it is unprofessional (not to mention extremely tasteless and dumb as hell) to hit on a woman (or a man, for that matter) while their significant other is present, I wouldn't go so far as to completely rule out romantic contact in the workplace. We all spend so much of our waking time there, and meet so many people, that probability alone would disagree with your statement. I know a lot of people who are happily together, or married, to coworkers. Customers, more rarely, but it happens. Back when I worked retail in school for a year, I myself went out on a few dates with girls I met at work.

However, as in everything else, it's the tone that makes the music. There's a wide range of ways to contact the opposite sex, and not all are appropriate - neither at work, nor anywhere else.

[Qaeria]

I'd like to respectfully disagree there. While yes, it is unprofessional (not to mention extremely tasteless and dumb as hell) to hit on a woman (or a man, for that matter) while their significant other is present, I wouldn't go so far as to completely rule out romantic contact in the workplace. We all spend so much of our waking time there, and meet so many people, that probability alone would disagree with your statement. I know a lot of people who are happily together, or married, to coworkers. Customers, more rarely, but it happens. Back when I worked retail in school for a year, I myself went out on a few dates with girls I met at work.

However, as in everything else, it's the tone that makes the music. There's a wide range of ways to contact the opposite sex, and not all are appropriate - neither at work, nor anywhere else.

Of course you are entitled to your opinion, and you are right that circumstances basically dictate. I agree that our fist marriages most times are our jobs, and therefore it would seem natural to want to seek out love interests there. I have nothing against co-irkers dating, and other relations with peers and colleagues.

I do not condone, nor do I find any benefit to soliciting relations from your customers. PERIOD. This can and usually becomes a literal pandora's box, and it is best to just avoid. That is not to say that an employee who sees a regular in the store on the employees time off can't strike up a conversation or pursue a relationship.

On the clock is a different matter. For one thing, if the prospective "Date" is already taken, there is a risk of retalliation from the "date's" partner. This could lead to very violent situations. The"Date" could seek legal remedies including charges of sexual harrassment, harrassment, and could seek to pursue it through criminal and civil systems. This would also involve the employer as they have responsibility for their staff, and would be invluded especially with any civil proceedings. When you consider I live in a very small city, population 16,000, so word gets around, and an overly-frisky employye at one of these places could be more damaging.

Looking for love is all well and good. I wouldn't have a problem really if these were just ordinary people out and about on their personal business, but really, at work? on the clock? Do you think it is fair for an employer to pay someone to pick up dates? This entire excercise was meant for me to save these employees and thier jobs.

[Evil Queen]

Hey, being hit on once in a great while is great for the self esteem.

But if I was hit on every. freaking. time. I. went. shopping. (or to work... happened once... for an entire month ) I'd get sick of it too. Good on you for reporting it.

Besides, can't they see the wedding ring?! (once again... people are blind )