wherein smiley is tempted to be an SC

[PepperElf]

skull of the model skeleton from my bone lab

Alas, poor Yorik... I mean George!

[Evil Queen]

Alas, poor Yorik... I mean George!

I knew him well Bob.

[smileyeagle1021]

Oh EQ, one of my friends is competing with you for the evil title... when I mentioned the door to door sales person first thing she asked was "was he wearing baggy pants" and when I said he did her response was "well, maybe you should have pantsed him... that would probably have scared him off"

I'm not sure which is worse... the fact that I seriously will have to remember that for next time... or the fact that I'm surprised I didn't think of it...

[Saydrah]

I don't hate door to door salespeople. I hate BAD ones, but the good ones are like a free entertainmentgram! I've been known to make a purchase just as compensation for giving me a good way to waste 15 minutes of my time laughing hysterically on an otherwise boring day.

Example:

Me-
SM- Salesman
BF- mine

*knock*

Me: "Hello?" (note: boyfriend is standing right behind me)
SM: "Hi, I'm selling edible underwear to raise money for a school trip. We have chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla..."
Me:
BF:
SM: "Just kidding. I'm selling magazines, but nobody gets that excited about magazine subscriptions..."
Me:
BF:

He went on to tell us (whether it's true or not) that a few houses away, a man answered the door and actually wanted to buy the edible underwear, and that he ended up playing along and answering a bunch of inane questions about the imaginary "product" until the man's wife came, overheard some of the conversation, and slammed the door!

Bought a magazine subscription just for that good laugh.

I also bought my newspaper subscription from a door to door salesperson-- she wasn't as polished and entertaining, but she was obviously totally new to sales and trying her hardest, and I needed a subscription anyway.

Another time I bought a newspaper subscription when a door to door salesman who was afraid of rats came to the door, and I had five baby rats in my arms when I answered (was expecting a neighbor and didn't want to ignore the door to put rats away). He backed away and was really nervous, but finally ended up holding a baby rat and saying it was really pretty cute once he got over the initial "OMG RODENT" panic. His boss drove by in a van and yelled at him to either make a sale or get moving, so I bought a subscription in apologies for using up so much of his time talking him out of the rodent fear, and also because I enjoyed the new rat convert.

I also enjoy the Mormons most of the time. Some really pushy ones eventually push me to desperate measures to get rid of them... example: "Actually, in my culture, you should never discuss religion with someone you haven't had sex with. I'm sorry, but unless you want to sleep with me, you'll have to leave or change the subject." That one gets a bright red face, stammer, and FLEE (sometimes while trying to hide an um, uh, yeah) every time. Poor repressed missionaries... I'd be in deep doody if a pair of them ever tried to take me up on it though.

But generally I offer them a Vitamin Water and a Cliff bar for the road, wish them well, and send them on their way with a polite, "Nope, not religious, and don't care to discuss it, but I feel for you going door to door in this heat-- have a snack and a water."

Started keeping those around for the Mormons when I lived a block from an LDS missionary headquarters. They started a lot of new missionaries in my neighborhood for training, and they always looked really exhausted and run down, poor things.

[Jack7957]

... example: "Actually, in my culture, you should never discuss religion with someone you haven't had sex with. I'm sorry, but unless you want to sleep with me, you'll have to leave or change the subject." That one gets a bright red face, stammer, and FLEE (sometimes while trying to hide an um, uh, yeah) every time. Poor repressed missionaries... I'd be in deep doody if a pair of them ever tried to take me up on it though...

...claim that I believe that all prayer, which trust me, they all want to say a prayer with you, should be done naked as to have no distractions... and if they are willing to disrobe with me to say the prayer, then I am more than willing to pray with them and discuss their religion... oddly, no one has taken me up on the offer yet ...

I wish I'd thought of that when those two cute Mormons showed up at my door several years ago.

[Fenrus]

Why is it I never get the cute salesmen! It's always the busty blonde whos selling things so "she can like, go like, to like, a trip for school!"

Or old men... old, dirty men...

[Saydrah]

Aw, really? You never get-- oh, wait, Utah, they don't NEED to send the Mormons door to door there. You'll just have to move if you want two handsome, nicely dressed, well groomed young men with briefcases to knock on your door so that you can make inappropriate suggestions to them.

I don't think I've ever had an unattractive Mormon come to the door, which might explain a lot of my friendliness toward them. How could I really harbor ill will toward the practice of sending pairs of handsome men to my door to entertain me?

[smileyeagle1021]

Actually Saydrah, there are missionaries in Utah (can't have any unconverted heathens in Zion now can we )

Fenrus if it makes you feel better, I'm sure I could grab an old copy of the Book of Mormon, put on my suit and knock on your door... after working so long in customer service I'm not sure there is anything you could do to me that would be worse, so feel free to do your worst.

[Saydrah]

Oh, really? I would think that would be an unwise use of resources, since half the people would just be like, "Dude, I'm already on your side."

Although I guess nobody ever accused missionaries of using their resources wisely at all times.

Have either of you ever seen the movie Latter Days? It's such a cute movie, and I'm listening to the song from it by total coincidence while reading this thread.

[Fenrus]

Hehe.. I believe we'll see to that on thursday, now won't we?

Though I have a few ideas of things I could do that even your naked hotel adventures wouldn't prepare you for.

[Saydrah]

Though I have a few ideas of things I could do that even your naked hotel adventures wouldn't prepare you for.

DUDE. There is so much wrong yet so much win in that statement. I wish I could visit Utah and observe this meeting....

[smileyeagle1021]

Oh, really? I would think that would be an unwise use of resources, since half the people would just be like, "Dude, I'm already on your side."

Although I guess nobody ever accused missionaries of using their resources wisely at all times.

Have either of you ever seen the movie Latter Days? It's such a cute movie, and I'm listening to the song from it by total coincidence while reading this thread.

actually, very wise use of resources... where else in the country can you knock on every single door and either get "oh, I'm familiar with you guys" or "hey, already a member, but you could talk to mr. smith across the street, he's shown interest"... well then there would be Fenrus's door
and no I haven't seen Latter Days (if it's the one I'm thinking of, it's not one that the local blockbuster is likely to stock... and if they do, no way in hell I'm waiting in line with my neighbors looking at it, they already have enough reasons to tattle on me to the bishop... might do it online though)

Hehe.. I believe we'll see to that on thursday, now won't we?

Though I have a few ideas of things I could do that even your naked hotel adventures wouldn't prepare you for.

though that does sound a lot like a challenge... game on

DUDE. There is so much wrong yet so much win in that statement. I wish I could visit Utah and observe this meeting....

will someone bring a video camera so we can send the footage to Saydrah?

[Fenrus]

Also, Latter Days is sitting in my DVD player at home... the roommate was watching it yesterday.

I've actually never seen it.

[Saydrah]

Whoa, would you really do that for li'l ol me?

*big puppy eyes*

Include me in the wild shenanigans from afar!

I visited South Jordan, Utah once. It was beautiful, but the people were definitely more religious than I'm used to. I don't think I've ever been blessed for buying a gallon of milk and a bag of ice cubes before. I'm used to hearing, "Have a nice day," or "Thanks for shopping at Acme Mart," but not to much used to hearing requests that some deity bless my day as I exit the store.

And yeah, Latter Days is probably the one you're thinking of, Smiley, and no, they probably don't stock it there. I'm sure you can watch it online, though. It's adorable. My best friend Siris and I always watch that as our "We're sad and boys suck but this at least has a cute ending" movie, with a box of tissues and lots of cookies. Or when I can't go over to his house we both watch it online at the same time and talk on IM about it. We're such dorks.

[Saydrah]

Also, Latter Days is sitting in my DVD player at home... the roommate was watching it yesterday.

I've actually never seen it.

Watch it! Then invite missionaries to watch it with you! Great fun.

Seriously though, it's such a sweet movie-- if you like romance movies at all, you should give it a shot.