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Oh, god, the late night coffee crowd

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  • Oh, god, the late night coffee crowd

    So, bro-bot and his wife invited me to see Coraline in 3D tonight, but it wasn't playing until 10:20, and the mall closes at 9:00, so we go to the B&N coffee shop and hang out until it gets closer to movie time. I find myself seated in the best possible position to witness two random terrible singers, and the worst possible pick-up attempt ever...

    So, Bro orders coffee, I order juice and a cheesecake slice, and bro gets his and goes to join his wife, while I stand at the end, waiting for my deliciousness. Counter Worker walks over, gives me a glance, then shouts, "CHEESECAKE!"
    I'm right here, you hag... You saw me standing here, I nodded when you looked at me... what the hell?

    Random singer #1 is part of an entourage near the windows, playing some terrible music on his iPhone (I think it was...), singing/garbling along badly to it, not even hitting the rhythm... whilst I eat my cheesecake slice, I comment, "Someone stop him before he destroys my ears..."
    Bro suggests I should walk over and punch him randomly. "Er, why?"

    Random singer #2 comes in a bit later, wearing stereotypical rapper attire, and stands up with his... er, homies, and starts beatboxing in the middle of the cafe, to many wary stares, and confused glances.
    He and his posse thankfully leave a few minutes later.

    Worst pick up attempt ever goes to the girl who walks in, with her boyfriend, and suddenly starts hitting on a group of guys in front of her boyfriend/chaufer/whatever the hell he was... Even better are the half-shouted protestations from the table as she walks off disgustedly, "Hey, I'm 15! Really!"
    "I call murder on that!"

  • #2
    wait a minute... SHE starts hitting on them and then acts disgusted? Um... well don't offer it up on a silver platter if you don't want them to take a taste....

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    • #3
      A coffee house is one of the millions of places you really should not sing.

      Even if it's rapping....
      Kangaroo Squee!

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      • #4
        Quoth Juwl View Post
        Random singer #2 comes in a bit later, wearing stereotypical rapper attire, and stands up with his... er, homies, and starts beatboxing in the middle of the cafe, to be met by the hysterical laughter and pointing of the patrons.
        He and his posse thankfully leave a few minutes later.
        Edited for what I'd do to them, given the chance.
        Now a member of that alien race called Management.

        Yeah, you see that right. Pink. Harness.

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