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Bitch making fun of a speech impediment & Self Checkout

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  • Bitch making fun of a speech impediment & Self Checkout

    Speech Bitch

    One of my nearest and dearest friends/co-workers is Conan. He's very laid back, and I've only really seen him pass "aggravated" twice. He has a speech impediment related to his dyslexia, where how he reads things is how he says them, and he realizes it won't come out right, so you have to sort of fill in the blanks. This is the ONLY thing that pisses him off.

    1st time was really a sucky manager. That particular one is oblivious and asked him how was he talking with the nasty dip in his mouth? Seriously... Manager knew he had that problem.

    This second and last time was weird. A woman came in and asked if we employees wanted some insurance, and the managers offered to ask us about it. Conan decided to see how it was, and sat down with her.

    SB:
    So, what's your name, sir?
    Conan says Hill, but it came out a little like Hi-ell.
    SB: Hell? Are you serious?
    Conan slows down, and says: Hill.
    SB: Hell?
    Conan: Hill.
    SB: HELL?
    Conan: HILL!
    SB: I can't understand anything you say, you need to get your motor functions checked out, Mr. Hell.

    So he slams his fists on the table, and walks back to the kitchen quietly.

    Can't say I blamed him for being pissed at that.

    Self Checkout

    So, I fixed my Wal-Mart errand runs with being able to go in the daylight/almost night time of frame. I avoid the beast of the morning, and get to use the self-check outs.

    I always give it my pennies first, and then the large change. I always finish it out with cash or a card, and I always make sure there's another lane open, and I am taking up only the little tiny one with no belt.

    So, I'm not a bit sorry when, at 6 in the afternoon, and no one else is at the big and belted self checkout, and you are behind me when I have 10 pennies, 18 dimes, 6 nickels, and the rest in single dollars. Especially not sorry when the cashier nearby has nothing better to do, and asks you to come over to them, or offers the empty self checkout.

    I am standing there, unloading my month's worth of delivery tips (which is a sad 15 plus the change).
    "PLEASE INSERT CASH, OR USE THE PIN PAD TO COMPLETE TRANSACTION"
    /dollar.. /dollar.. etc.

    There is a woman standing behind me with one can of catfood, huffing and twisting so her purse is smacking my side.

    ... /dollar .. /dollar
    Cashier: Ma'am! I can help you, and we also have this empty checkout here for you!

    Woman stops, glares at the cashier, and huffs, and nudges me with her giant purse.
    /dollar../dollar...

    Woman stops and stares at my almost empty hand.
    /dollar... "THANK YOU! PLEASE TAKE YOUR RECEIPT NOW."

    I take it. Woman growls at me as I load my two bags and a 24drink pack on the cart.
    Woman suddenly has a cart from where? Did she yank it out of her chasmic purse? When the hell did she leave and get it? ...and for one can of catfood?

    I start to walk off. "THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT WAL-MART."
    Woman JABS THE HELL out of my behind!!!

    My mighty ass bounces the empty cart back into her hands as the CSM nearby runs up to us. The woman scans her catfood in a fiesty quick rage!

    The CSM aks if I'm okay as I turn around to see what hit me, and the woman behind me pays for her cat food with a card.

    Me: What the fridge, lady?
    Woman: YOU FUCKING HIPPIES ARE ALL ALIKE!!
    CSM:

    Woman walks out the doors swinging her giant purse and single bag of single catfood.

    I look at the CSM, who shrugs, asks again if I'm okay, and walks off.

    I leave, wondering if the force of the assed cart broke one of her fake nails.

    EDIT: I was wearing all black with a ponytail. Hippie???
    Last edited by unholypet; 03-30-2009, 10:01 PM.

  • #2
    Don't you know that Hippies became extinct in 1975? I think I spotted the last one in late '76 when i was 11 on the playground near my house. They were walking slowly muttering under their breath.."Shoulda gone to Woodstock, shoulda gone to Woodstock."
    Last edited by Bright_Star; 03-31-2009, 12:22 AM.

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth Bright_Star View Post
      Don't you know that Hippies became extinct in 1975?
      Oh yeah.. isn't that technically a burnt out now? Or is that a druggie term @_@

      Comment


      • #4
        Actually, BrightStar, REAL hippies became extinct back then.

        There are some stupid kids/teens/young adults who try to call themselves hippies, but they represent nothing that real hippies stood for. All they are are people who don't bathe for weeks at a time, (in fear of ruining the natural oils in their hair/skin) wear all natural clothes and eat all natural food, smoke clove cigarettes, and let their hair grow to excitingly nappy, damaged lengths, and spend hours and hours in coffee shops listening to acoustic music pretending to know everything about liberal arts.

        At least, that's what "hippies" in my part of Wisconsin are. Average age is about 16-30.
        You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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        • #5
          Hippies? Was she high?
          Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

          Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

          Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth blas87 View Post
            Actually, BrightStar, REAL hippies became extinct back then.
            I still dunno... I mean, my friend's parents are radical hippies... or is it burnouts? ;_;

            They wear cotton-only clothes, which were dyed with natural stuffs. Smoke n drink n have a hootin' time. Farm their own meat n veggies, but they're also aged metalheads... I've never seen one of those type in Tennessee/Kentucky under the age of 50.

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth Bright_Star View Post
              Don't you know that Hippies became extinct in 1975?
              Obviously, you've never been to Eugene, Oregon! Trust me, the hippies are not extinct, they all moved here and sell tie-dye clothes at the Saturday Market!
              I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
              My LiveJournal
              A page we can all agree with!

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              • #8
                At least Hippies don't believe in assault and have vision that allows them to see open check out options.

                (or at least those accused of being Hippies)

                Comment


                • #9
                  There are still plenty of aged hippies, those who were actual hippies back in the day. I work with a few of them. Some of them are pretty cool in a Tommy Chong way, others are too burned out to really even talk.
                  You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I'm gonna take a wild guess and say that the insurance agent in the first story isn't her company's sales leader. Then again, we got a couple of rather rude fellows shilling for a gas company the other day, so maybe this some odd new trend. Hank Hill they certainly weren't.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth unholypet View Post

                      SB: I can't understand anything you say, you need to get your motor functions checked out, Mr. Hell.

                      So he slams his fists on the table, and walks back to the kitchen quietly.

                      Can't say I blamed him for being pissed at that.
                      F**k you very much. Did you understand THAT, b***h?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth Dytchdoctir View Post
                        F**k you very much. Did you understand THAT, b***h?
                        LOL! Dytchdoctir LAYS THE SMACK DOWN!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth Bright_Star View Post
                          Don't you know that Hippies became extinct in 1975?
                          Nah. They just moved to the woods, or the West Coast. My parents are in fine form still

                          I'm kind of a stealth hippie. I have a lot of the values and the back-to-the-land inclinations (and skills; I can bake bread from scratch, mend anything, and build a solar oven; I also use a bike for my primary transportaion most of the year), without the holier-than-thou attitude you sometimes see in the uber-granola crowd.

                          I have never in my life figured out how "hippie" stayed a term of opprobium past 1975 though.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth unholypet View Post
                            Speech Bitch

                            One of my nearest and dearest friends/co-workers is Conan. He's very laid back, and I've only really seen him pass "aggravated" twice. He has a speech impediment related to his dyslexia, where how he reads things is how he says them, and he realizes it won't come out right, so you have to sort of fill in the blanks. This is the ONLY thing that pisses him off.
                            Oh man, I was having problems like this today too and it was killing me. I for the life of me couldn't spell names as they were written out loud, even people who I know very well... one was one of my best friends from high school!
                            "This is the first time I've seen you look ugly, and that makes me happy!"

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              A woman came in and asked if we employees wanted some insurance, and the managers offered to ask us about it.
                              I think that calls for calling the bitch's parent company and telling them that she was rude and demeaning to a possible client just because he had a speech impediment.

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