Saturday's Sucktacular Sightings Soiree!

[Can I Help Your A$$?]

I think those kids have the wrong mama. Unless you are all lions, or...something.

[Horsetuna]

I think we should get a picture of The Smile, so we can practice.

[Hobbs]

I think we should get a picture of The Smile, so we can practice.

better make it a .gif then, so we can get the different poses correct.

oh, and the pic is going straight to the shrine-erm...church.

[Amethyst Hunter]

sweet tequila christ, were the assholes, EWs and just plain stupids out in droves today!!

Spring always brings them out from under their rocks. It's the dratted warmer weather - thaws the icicles up their asses just enough so that they can move freely about once more, much to our eternal sorrow.

(We have duck season and wabbit season; why oh why cannot we have Asshole Season? I'd sign up for that shit in a second! )

( snip saga of Post Office Assbag Dingleberry )

You have FAR, far more restraint than I do. That woman needs to go play in traffic. Blindfolded.

Stupid Mom!(SM): WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY SON?!!!?!?!?!?!
Me: Telling him where you were, since you walked away and had your back to him
SM: DON'T YOU EVER COME NEAR MY KIDS!!!
Me: .........

Right about this point, a random employee comes by and she grabs his arm.

SM: SHE TRIED TO HURT MY SON!!!!!!!11!!!!!
RE: <Looks at me, where I'm still kneeling on the floor, as I get to my feet> Uh, miss? Is this true?
Me: Nope. Her son was at the yogurt, she walked away down that aisle and left him here. I told him which way she went.
RE: <Looks at SM> I really don't see what the problem is, ma'am. If she was trying to keep your son from being lost--
SM: <Cuts him off> SHE HAD HER HANDS ON MY BABY!!

"Prove it, bitch. I would LOVE to have an excuse to sue your worthless ass so's I can take a niiiice expensive vacation!"

This one also needs to go make the intimate acquaintance of Mr. Speedy Bus. There may, however, be hope for her one kid, since he 'fessed up in your favor.

And then she opens her mouth and ruins it all...

Woman: Get your fucking hands off the cart! I ain't got time for you to be hanging all over it. Get off, and get your asses over here!! Walk behind me! I don't wanna see you doing that again!!

WHY IS THERE NOT BIRTH CONTROL IN THE WATER SUPPLY!? WHY?! Does the world really need more people like this? I think not!

Poor kids are gonna have issues when they get older, methinks...

Stupid driver (SD): Hey, some of us are driving here, bitch!!!

Ahh, I see one of my state's denizens must be visiting your area. Many apologies for our exports of dingbats and dumbshits - it isn't intentional, I assure you.

I think I may have sucked in some of the instances above, though, because I let my temper get the best of me.

Are you KIDDING?? If that's suckitude then I guess I'm a proud fan of your style!

[wagegoth]

I think Lupo left off the most important part of her instructions for "The Smile." You have to be contemplating evil for it to really work effectively. As she described, thinking about Hannibal Lecter type revenge while doing "The Smile" ups the voltage by at least 200%.

[lupo pazzesco]

I think Lupo left off the most important part of her instructions for "The Smile." You have to be contemplating evil for it to really work effectively. As she described, thinking about Hannibal Lecter type revenge while doing "The Smile" ups the voltage by at least 200%.

Well, yes, but I thought that was a given, as I usually am contemplating evil deeds whilst smiling, which then morphs into The Smile...

Oopsie on me for not being clearer!

[SG15Z]

The first lady: Man you have some restraint. I don't know what I (a natural introvert) would have done, but I definitely wouldn't have been as nice as you.

The first Target one: Jeeze lady how about keep an eye on your kids. What if it wasn't Lupo and was some crazy child predator or something. What would you have done then! huh?!

The second lady: So sad, I see that everyday at work. We have one regular that is always yelling expletives at his children very loudly. Some people just shouldn't have children.

Target 3: Lol, I would have done the same. In fact I have. One time I was at a Kroger *$ and they were having issues with the POS and I walked them through step by step on how to fix it. Though I didn't get a free drink! No fair!

Last one: People in Houston really need to learn how to drive. Seriously I could rant all day about Houston drivers. Including the bus drivers.

Wanna know what stereotype that's out there that I wish really was completely true??? That all college grads make a million dollars more than those without a degree and they all are guaranteed good-paying jobs! Yeah that would be nice.

Why do you think I never finished college! Ok that's not the only reason, but it is one of them.

My dear, I really think you should stop engaging the public.

Indeed she does. I mean come on I never post in Sightings and we kinda sorta live in the same area. I do go up to her neck of the woods from time to time and never have a sighting. I guess she's just cursed.

Unless by "engage" you mean; "To commit oneself, as in entering conflict or battle." Then my money is all on Lupo XD

Oh I'm all in on Lupo!!

[lupo pazzesco]

The first lady: Man you have some restraint. I don't know what I (a natural introvert) would have done, but I definitely wouldn't have been as nice as you.

Indeed she does. I mean come on I never post in Sightings and we kinda sorta live in the same area. I do go up to her neck of the woods from time to time and never have a sighting. I guess she's just cursed.

Oh I'm all in on Lupo!!

1. you think I was NICE? Whoa...weird. But ok then. It was more of me having to remind myself that if I committed acts of violence in a post office, it'd probably be federal charges, so...

2. It's not like i do it on PURPOSE! These things just happen. I do believe I'm cursed, but yeah...I just seem to attract all the Houston crazies!!

3. So nice to know my minions believe in me! You and Hobbs both are in my corner without a doubt. Though, that begs the question of what, exactly, I've done to cause the immediate belief that I'd win. Ah well, who cares? I'd win. End of story.

[marlovino]

Is the smile anything like the one Wednesday does in the Addams Family movie? Then one I am talking about is when she is at summer camp and they try brain washing her to be good and ask her to smile.

That smile freaked me out.

[SG15Z]

1. you think I was NICE? Whoa...weird. But ok then. It was more of me having to remind myself that if I committed acts of violence in a post office, it'd probably be federal charges, so...

2. It's not like i do it on PURPOSE! These things just happen. I do believe I'm cursed, but yeah...I just seem to attract all the Houston crazies!!

3. So nice to know my minions believe in me! You and Hobbs both are in my corner without a doubt. Though, that begs the question of what, exactly, I've done to cause the immediate belief that I'd win. Ah well, who cares? I'd win. End of story.

1. No I just thought you were nicer than I would expect you to be.

2. Indeed you do. Oh and remind me to never go out in public with you.

3. Oh course your minions would be on your side. We worship you remember? It's kinda required. Go Lupo!!

[wagegoth]

Well, yes, but I thought that was a given, as I usually am contemplating evil deeds whilst smiling, which then morphs into The Smile...

Oopsie on me for not being clearer!

It works on animals, too.

[lupo pazzesco]

It works on animals, too.

Really? Doesn't seem to work on my dog when I'm visiting home. He still jumps all over me, but hey, he's kinda stupid. Comes from being purebred, I think. Love him anyways!!

[Moggie]

Also, if using The Smile, drop your head down slightly so that you're looking up through your eyelashes at the other person, keeping direct eye contact. Slowly part your lips in a grin, but make sure more teeth are showing then with a normal smile, then bring your head up fully. If you really need to keep going, look meaningfully at their throat, like you're about to sink your teeth in.

They might suspect you're a serial killer, but they do tend to back off.

[wagegoth]

Really? Doesn't seem to work on my dog when I'm visiting home. He still jumps all over me, but hey, he's kinda stupid. Comes from being purebred, I think. Love him anyways!!

That's because you love him. The emotion behind the thoughts has to be sincere.

[lupo pazzesco]

That's because you love him. The emotion behind the thoughts has to be sincere.

Of course I love him. He's just so wuvable! Even when he's being a big honkin' baby and refuses to go outside if it's windy. or rainy. Or snowy. Or cloudy. Or...well, you get the idea...