Tweet
I went with my father to go get some plants today. We went into the garden section of a certain home improvement store. Now, since it is part of a home improvement store, every worker that I saw there was male, at least 6ft, and looked like they could have been club bouncers in a previous job. All of them. They also had on distinctive brightly colored uniforms with the store logo on it.
Me, on the other hand? Female, barely above 5ft, get mistaken for a middle school student all the time due to height. I could be crushed by a single bag of mulch. To top it off, I have neon pink hair and was wearing bright checkered pants, a frilly top, and large headphones. It was pretty obvious that I was not dressed in any sort of job-appropriate attire.
Despite that, five different people thought I worked there.
The Old Lady
Woman: Excuse me, do you work here dear?
Me: No, I'm sorry.
Woman: Could you help me find something?
Me: Er, I'm sorry, I don't work here ma'am. I can help you find someone who does, if you'd like.
Woman: I need some plants, dear. For my garden.
Me: Well, let me find someone for you who--
Woman: ...I really love gardening. I like to grow tomatoes. I used to put them in my vases but I ran out of vases so maybe I can find some pots here and...
Me: (had gotten tomatoes earlier and knew where they were) Ma'am, I--
Woman: *blinks, stares at me again* ...oh, hello dear, do you work here? I need some plants and I need someone to help me find them.
(Rinse and repeat for several minutes.)
Me: (gives up) The tomatoes are back that way, ma'am.
Woman: Thank you, dear! *wanders off in the complete opposite direction*
I was worried that she might be senile, so I let one of the employees there know and pointed out where she had gone. Hopefully she got home alright.
Cell Phone Lady
Woman: Hey! *points at me* Where are the hanging plants?!
Me: Er--
Woman: God, never mind! (starts ranting into cell phone about how incompetent workers are)
They were about five inches above your head, lady.
TMI Lady
Woman: Ohmigosh, you've got to help me out!
Me: ...? Miss, I'm sorry, I don't actually wo--
Woman: I've got to get some flowers for my cousin as a present but all of these say they're supposed to be for outside! I need something for inside!
Me: Well--
Woman: And it has to be really easy to take care of. It needs to be something that she can just water once a week or something because she's really bad at taking care of things. I mean, she can't even take care of her own husband, otherwise he wouldn't have to 'stay late' at work with his secretary all the time and... (trails off)
Me: ...
Her: ...
Me: ... I don't work here.
Her: ... WHAT?!
Well, if you'd listened the first time... also, I believe that your money might be better spent in the form of a donation towards marriage counseling.
Tree Guy
Man: I NEED A TREE.
To properly understand this scenario, you must understand the tone of voice. This was the "OH GOD, THIS IS EPIC" voice. The "Tonight we dine in hell!" voice. The "we need to operate now!" voice. This tree... it was a matter of life or death.
Me: ... sir, I don't...
Man: Tree.
Me: (...what the hell, might as well play along.) What... type of tree, sir?
Man: TREEEE! *hand flailing motions*
He then sprinted off into the tree section without another word. I still don't understand what happened. When I walked by later, he was doing the same thing to an actual employee.
Evil
Woman: Hey!
Me: ....? (I was standing holding a box of plants, minding my own business, in fact I looked like I was part of the line to check out due to where I was standing.)
Woman: HEY. YOU! *snaps fingers*
Me: (I turn around and look at her, raising one eyebrow. If you call me like I'm a dog, I'm not going to dignify that with a response. Staring at me is an angry woman in full religious garb covering everything but her eyes, with a young child, probably 3 or so.)
Woman: Where the hell is the (something)?! You people can't even organize a store!
Me: I'm sorry, but I don't work here. *starts to walk away*
Woman: You liar! You just don't want to deal with me because I'm (religion)! *turns to child, then points to me* You see that woman?! That woman is a bitch!
Me: ...
Was today a full moon or something? I got all the crazies and I didn't even work there!
Me, on the other hand? Female, barely above 5ft, get mistaken for a middle school student all the time due to height. I could be crushed by a single bag of mulch. To top it off, I have neon pink hair and was wearing bright checkered pants, a frilly top, and large headphones. It was pretty obvious that I was not dressed in any sort of job-appropriate attire.
Despite that, five different people thought I worked there.
The Old Lady
Woman: Excuse me, do you work here dear?
Me: No, I'm sorry.
Woman: Could you help me find something?
Me: Er, I'm sorry, I don't work here ma'am. I can help you find someone who does, if you'd like.
Woman: I need some plants, dear. For my garden.
Me: Well, let me find someone for you who--
Woman: ...I really love gardening. I like to grow tomatoes. I used to put them in my vases but I ran out of vases so maybe I can find some pots here and...
Me: (had gotten tomatoes earlier and knew where they were) Ma'am, I--
Woman: *blinks, stares at me again* ...oh, hello dear, do you work here? I need some plants and I need someone to help me find them.
(Rinse and repeat for several minutes.)
Me: (gives up) The tomatoes are back that way, ma'am.
Woman: Thank you, dear! *wanders off in the complete opposite direction*
I was worried that she might be senile, so I let one of the employees there know and pointed out where she had gone. Hopefully she got home alright.
Cell Phone Lady
Woman: Hey! *points at me* Where are the hanging plants?!
Me: Er--
Woman: God, never mind! (starts ranting into cell phone about how incompetent workers are)
They were about five inches above your head, lady.
TMI Lady
Woman: Ohmigosh, you've got to help me out!
Me: ...? Miss, I'm sorry, I don't actually wo--
Woman: I've got to get some flowers for my cousin as a present but all of these say they're supposed to be for outside! I need something for inside!
Me: Well--
Woman: And it has to be really easy to take care of. It needs to be something that she can just water once a week or something because she's really bad at taking care of things. I mean, she can't even take care of her own husband, otherwise he wouldn't have to 'stay late' at work with his secretary all the time and... (trails off)
Me: ...
Her: ...
Me: ... I don't work here.
Her: ... WHAT?!
Well, if you'd listened the first time... also, I believe that your money might be better spent in the form of a donation towards marriage counseling.
Tree Guy
Man: I NEED A TREE.
To properly understand this scenario, you must understand the tone of voice. This was the "OH GOD, THIS IS EPIC" voice. The "Tonight we dine in hell!" voice. The "we need to operate now!" voice. This tree... it was a matter of life or death.
Me: ... sir, I don't...
Man: Tree.
Me: (...what the hell, might as well play along.) What... type of tree, sir?
Man: TREEEE! *hand flailing motions*
He then sprinted off into the tree section without another word. I still don't understand what happened. When I walked by later, he was doing the same thing to an actual employee.
Evil
Woman: Hey!
Me: ....? (I was standing holding a box of plants, minding my own business, in fact I looked like I was part of the line to check out due to where I was standing.)
Woman: HEY. YOU! *snaps fingers*
Me: (I turn around and look at her, raising one eyebrow. If you call me like I'm a dog, I'm not going to dignify that with a response. Staring at me is an angry woman in full religious garb covering everything but her eyes, with a young child, probably 3 or so.)
Woman: Where the hell is the (something)?! You people can't even organize a store!
Me: I'm sorry, but I don't work here. *starts to walk away*
Woman: You liar! You just don't want to deal with me because I'm (religion)! *turns to child, then points to me* You see that woman?! That woman is a bitch!
Me: ...
Was today a full moon or something? I got all the crazies and I didn't even work there!
And why the hell is she teaching her kid to cuss...
Comment