No, really - I don't work here.

[PepperElf]

or...
"Fine, go get me fired you worn out crack hag..."

and then sit back and watch in amusement as she complains about the bad employee... only to find out she was wrong.

and then if they try to talk to you... "don't look at me... i was minding my own business shopping until she started screaming at me."

[tamezin]

Evil
Woman: Hey!
Me: ....? (I was standing holding a box of plants, minding my own business, in fact I looked like I was part of the line to check out due to where I was standing.)
Woman: HEY. YOU! *snaps fingers*
Me: (I turn around and look at her, raising one eyebrow. If you call me like I'm a dog, I'm not going to dignify that with a response. Staring at me is an angry woman in full religious garb covering everything but her eyes, with a young child, probably 3 or so.)
Woman: Where the hell is the (something)?! You people can't even organize a store!
Me: I'm sorry, but I don't work here. *starts to walk away*
Woman: You liar! You just don't want to deal with me because I'm (religion)! *turns to child, then points to me* You see that woman?! That woman is a bitch!
Me: ...

This is the one you report to the store for verbally assaulting you.

[WhiteRose]

i've had people ask me to help them even if i didn't work there, and i'll help if they're nice, warning them though that i didn't work there...one person said "you're more helpful than the employees!"

...win?

once some bitch basically said "You're going to help me now" and i was so tempted to say "I quit" just to mess with them...but instead i just walked away...

[Mouse]

Me: I'm sorry, but I don't work here. *starts to walk away*
Woman: You liar! You just don't want to deal with me because I'm (religion)! *turns to child, then points to me* You see that woman?! That woman is a bitch!
Me: ...

Response: and you don't want to treat me like a person because i'm not (religion)!
parting shot: Good luck kid, you're gonna need it
^_^

[firecat88]

My experience with this sorta thing was fairly tame...and it actually didn't happen to me. It happened to my mom, but I was there to witness it. Now, a bit of back-story: My mom is a nurse. Thus, the uniform at her work is -scrubs- and a white coat.

One day, she'd picked me up from school (I don't drive, so my parents have to drive me to and from campus), and was still in her scrubs because she just left straight from the hospital without changing.

After she'd picked me up, we decided to go to Ye Olde World of Wally (WalMart). We were in the meat department, trying to decide what to have for dinner. Now, keep in mind the details- My mom is wearing scrubs and a shiny nametag with the name of the hospital across the top. The following exchange occurred right there:

Some random dude: *approaches us* Do you work here? *said to my mom*
My mom: **
Me: *resisting this urge: *
My mom: No. Sorry.
Random dude: *walks off in search of employee*

[Fire_on_High]

No what you yell is "YES! I EARNED MY BITCH STATUS! I AM FINALLY QUALIFIED TO BE A BITCH!"

Bingo. Anyone who acts like that is also the sort of person who HATES being mocked.

[Misanthropical]

No matter where I go there is always and I do mean always some clueless twit that thinks I work there.

I could be standing there in my ragged t-shirt and ripped jeans, holding the hand of my 11 year old son, who is begging me to buy more Pop Tarts and some brain dead idiot will think I work there and have to be nice to them. I do find it funny when the person complains to a manager about me and tells the manager I should be fired.

[Pagan]

I had some old fart at Sam's the other day demanding that I figure out the price of some cheese for him.

Here's the conversation, if you can call it that:

Old Fart: (barking at me) Hey you, how much is this cheese?
Me: I don't know, but there's a sign above it. (I go back to finding what I was looking for.)
OF: (starts walking towards me with his hand out like he was going to poke me) Hey you, tell me how much this is!
Me: No, go find someone that works here to ask and quit bothering other customers.

I have yet to figure out how he mistook me for someone that worked there. He saw me come up with a cart whilst wearing a t-shirt, NMSU shorts, and flip-flops!

I probably would have helped him if he had just asked nicely instead of being a jackass about it.

[MrsEclipse]

Do you ever get the feeling that some of these people just keep picking other people at random in the hopes of finding an employee, and then promptly forgetting their system as soon as they've zeroed in on you?

I wonder what it is about some people. I know some people who get mistaken for employees all. the. time. while most others have never experienced that. If it happens a lot, it's got to be something about you that's subtle, something that the customers themselves don't actually realize they're noticing. Probably you should try to put on some scents to mask the pheromones that attract SCs to you when you're not an employee.

[tropicsgoddess]

The stupidity never ceases to amaze me. *smh*

[OfficeSlug]

LOL
I'm in such a pissy mood, I might get into some Kahki and red and go visit my local Target and just wander around with a cart.


Ripping into pissy customers would soothe my Wounded Retail Pride a bit.

[tropicsgoddess]

LOL
I'm in such a pissy mood, I might get into some Kahki and red and go visit my local Target and just wander around with a cart.


Ripping into pissy customers would soothe my Wounded Retail Pride a bit.

I would pay to see that!

[firecat88]

LOL
I'm in such a pissy mood, I might get into some Kahki and red and go visit my local Target and just wander around with a cart.

Nah, get a whole group going. It's more fun that way.

http://improveverywhere.com/2006/04/23/best-buy/

[derangedperson]

Woman: You liar! You just don't want to deal with me because I'm (religion)! *turns to child, then points to me* You see that woman?! That woman is a bitch!

Now, if that had been me, I would have retorted with:

"And you're a cunt. Goodbye."

[Food Lady]

LOL I'm in such a pissy mood, I might get into some Kahki and red and go visit my local Target and just wander around with a cart.

Walk around and ask people, "Can I help you find something?" Better yet. Do it at Walmart.