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Dear You,
You, sir, are thirty years old. You are sitting in a library. Now, no doubt childhood experience has taught you that libraries are places of quiet reflection. Hallowed. Silent. Places where the words "Shut the F*** Up" have the same level of importance as remembering not to soil your pants in public.
Cellular phones, as one with common sense might deduce, are not welcome. Using your outside voice while using said phones is equally unwelcome.
Imagine six day old fish, my friend, on a hot day, and you will understand our animosity toward you.
While I'm sure your phone conversation was of the utmost importance - because Heaven knows I, too, need thirty minutes, a conference call to three people, a newspaper, and the Captain Planet-like powers of an entire library to decide whether to see "Angels and Demons" or "Star Trek" tomorrow night - perhaps you should refrain from trying to discuss ways to commit criminal acts when within earshot of twenty very annoyed library patrons.
Despite the fact that your girlfriend's brother looks eighteen at eleven years of age*, you may neither sneak him into an R-rated flick, nor buy him beer.
I'm sure we all took great pleasure in getting your name off the oh-so-public computer sign-up sheet and reporting you.
One part amused to two parts disturbed,
- Me.
(*For clarification, it is legal to drink at 16 in Italy, 18 if you are US military.)
You, sir, are thirty years old. You are sitting in a library. Now, no doubt childhood experience has taught you that libraries are places of quiet reflection. Hallowed. Silent. Places where the words "Shut the F*** Up" have the same level of importance as remembering not to soil your pants in public.
Cellular phones, as one with common sense might deduce, are not welcome. Using your outside voice while using said phones is equally unwelcome.
Imagine six day old fish, my friend, on a hot day, and you will understand our animosity toward you.
While I'm sure your phone conversation was of the utmost importance - because Heaven knows I, too, need thirty minutes, a conference call to three people, a newspaper, and the Captain Planet-like powers of an entire library to decide whether to see "Angels and Demons" or "Star Trek" tomorrow night - perhaps you should refrain from trying to discuss ways to commit criminal acts when within earshot of twenty very annoyed library patrons.
Despite the fact that your girlfriend's brother looks eighteen at eleven years of age*, you may neither sneak him into an R-rated flick, nor buy him beer.
I'm sure we all took great pleasure in getting your name off the oh-so-public computer sign-up sheet and reporting you.
One part amused to two parts disturbed,
- Me.
(*For clarification, it is legal to drink at 16 in Italy, 18 if you are US military.)
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