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  • The Mom Shorts Story

    This story has more to with sucky parenting than what she was wearing, but I've always found "Mom Jeans" to be so disgustingly hilarious.....then I discovered that some women wear "Mom Shorts".....similar to the Mom Jeans, the Mom Shorts have a super high waistline, nearly up to the ribcage, and the jeans are super baggy.....they look so stupid, it's laughable.

    Anyways, it's payday Thursday, so that means bright and early, 7:30 am after work, I head to Wal-Mart for my grocery shopping. I mean, 99% of the time, there is almost NO ONE there but the employees, and people I work with doing their shopping. It's the best time to go there, you can usually avoid crowds and annoying families.

    Except today.

    I'm rolling through the parking lot, looking to park in my usual area (because the lot is so empty this time of day), and I see a spot open next to a giant Mommy Van, and I went to park in it, but halfway in, I realize that one of the side doors is open on the van, and Mom Shorts is standing there trying to get her flock of children out of the backseats. She turns her head of perfectly coiffed bob style hair, gives me the evil eye, as if to say "How dare you!", so I back up a bit and pick the next spot over.

    I get inside and grab a cart, and Mom Shorts and her litter are right behind me...the kids are restless and loud (well for Pete's Sake, it's 7:30 am and for some reason this stupid cow thought it would be just the BEST time to wake up her sleepy kids and drag them to Wal-Mart!) and are sqwacking and squealing. I'm sure the entire store could hear all 3 of them.

    I start to head down the toothpaste aisle, and of course, who follows me? UGH...and the kids are still just a shrieking away.....Mom Shorts thinks this is so cute and funny and is pretty much encouraging it!

    I grab what I need as quick as possible and head over to cosmetics, thinking I'd be safe over there. I can still hear the kids screaming several aisles away as I looked at some makeup and oil absorbing sheets. Then I went another aisle over for some Cetaphil wash, and then I tried to make a quick, quiet, stealth dart towards the other side of the store to grocery......but it was all in vein....

    Mom Shorts headed that way as well. God damn it all!

    I went all the way up to the soda/chips aisle to grab some soda, and I knew they were still hot on my tail. So I darted back an aisle or two for toilet paper. I can hear the kids screaming and fighting over what kind of soda they want. Wow, Mom Shorts....you really think those little kids need soda pop?!

    Then I try to make a quick diversion and pretend I'm in meat and then dairy, then I go back over to frozen foods to get my pizzas and mozarella sticks and whatnot, and I do not get followed. Yay! Thankfully, Mom Shorts must have forgotten that her kids needed more sugary sweets, because when I rolled past the aisles on my way to checkout, they were in the cereal aisle, now the kids were fighting over what cereal they wanted.

    I got distracted by some pretty fresh flowers for a few minutes, but then I heard the familiar screaming getting louder and louder....so I quit belined for a checkout to hide....thankfully, I was not seen. I got cashed out and walked out to my car, and just as I was walking back to my car from returning the cart, Mom Shorts and the little screaming trio were just walking out with their barely half full cart and the kids were still just a howling away, and Mom Shorts had a smile on her face from ear to ear.

    I'm sorry to inform you, Mom Shorts, but you are probably the ONLY person who thinks your kids screaming and howling is cute. Thanks for making my grocery shopping excursion a freaking cat and mouse game! I hope when you bend over, you get a huge rip in your giant oversized Mom Shorts.
    You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

  • #2
    Ya think that mom shorts followed you on purpose cause you were gonna get in the spot by her? What a bitch.
    I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
    Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
    Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09

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    • #3
      Kids and babies screaming is sooooooooo annoying. It didn't bother me much before. But now that i've worked in a toy store i'm dangling on my last nerve. They don't sound like humans. They sound like little animals. Just...screaching drooling, clawing, animals. ugh.

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      • #4
        Ugh! I have walked out of places because of the howling of children going on inside. I refuse to get a migraine because the cows refuse to get their children to behave.

        Yes, I have children, but they were never nor do they carry on like ill mannered howling monkeys.
        Do not annoy the woman with the flamethrower!

        If you don't like it, I believe you can go to hell! ~Trinity from The Matrix

        Yes, MadMike does live under my couch.

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        • #5
          I shared this story with some coworkers last night, and a few of them said that they will up and leave a store, no matter what they were intending to buy, if there are screaming, wailing, out of control children not being told to be quiet or worse, the parents are ignoring them or worst of all, encouraging it.

          The way they figure, if management treasures sucky parents like that more than customers who come in to be quiet and shop, that place doesn't need their business.

          Unfortunately, it's hard to find anywhere where management will do anything about stuff like that.
          You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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          • #6
            Quoth blas View Post
            I shared this story with some coworkers last night, and a few of them said that they will up and leave a store, no matter what they were intending to buy, if there are screaming, wailing, out of control children not being told to be quiet or worse, the parents are ignoring them or worst of all, encouraging it.

            The way they figure, if management treasures sucky parents like that more than customers who come in to be quiet and shop, that place doesn't need their business.

            Unfortunately, it's hard to find anywhere where management will do anything about stuff like that.
            I can't speak for other places, but at the library, I don't think we're "allowed" to say anything to the parents or do much about stuff like that.

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            • #7
              I myself only go shopping once in a blue moon (for clothes or shoes, per say), because of the shift I work, I only get out on the weekends, and only if I have the extra cash. I do my grocery shopping on payday right after work because it's convenient and right by the freeway.

              Because of that, I have bit my tongue and tried to tune out such madness and noise because I really didn't want to have to come back the next day or the next week, or to attempt to put my stuff on hold.
              You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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              • #8
                Quoth blas
                but you are probably the ONLY person who thinks your kids screaming and howling is cute.
                I think you can safely drop the word "probably" from that sentence.....
                I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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                • #9
                  ah... howling screaming kids... reason number 2 for me not shopping for groceries at walmart, reason number 1 being that I've found the store brand stuff is cheaper at the local grocers anyway, and number 3 being on the few things that aren't cheaper, not having to deal with long lines is worth the few extra pennies.
                  If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

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                  • #10
                    Quoth smileyeagle1021 View Post
                    ah... howling screaming kids... reason number 2 for me not shopping for groceries at walmart, reason number 1 being that I've found the store brand stuff is cheaper at the local grocers anyway, and number 3 being on the few things that aren't cheaper, not having to deal with long lines is worth the few extra pennies.
                    The W*Mart near me doesn't even have a real grocery section. I've only been there a few times; frankly, I prefer to drive the 15 minutes to Target than go to the WM that's 5 minutes up the road. The few times I've been there I found many areas to be disorganized and the employees to be not-so-helpful. Nothing that would warrant a post here or anything, but not a particularly pleasant shopping experience, either.
                    I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                    I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                    It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I have been known to just up and leave stores when there are too many screaming, unruly, hyper, unattended kids, etc. I go shopping for groceries every day or every other day (I love to cook so I like my stuff to be as fresh as possible, therefore instead of doing one major shopping trip, I do several minor ones). I never buy too much at once so I get that little basket instead of a shopping cart.

                      Well recently there was a soccer mom in there with the cell phone attached to her ear and her 3 little kids running up and down the aisles SCREAMING. Knocking things off shelves, displays, etc and she was just sitting there talking on her phone.

                      I was grabbing some pepperoni at the end of the aisle for a pizza I was planning on baking, and one of her kids comes darting around the corner and slams into me, knocking the pepperoni out of my hand and causing me to drop my basket. Mom makes direct eye contact with me, continues talking on her phone, ignores me, and continues her little shopping trip. In a voice where I was sure she could hear me I went "Oh no no, really, no need to apologize, completely my fault. Don't worry, you are doing a bang up job as a parent." She gave me the stink eye and continued on her kids still shrieking and unruly, and her still on her cell phone conversation.
                      Last edited by iradney; 09-09-2009, 11:19 AM. Reason: removed nasty name for kids

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                      • #12
                        *facepalm* Ugh. Screeching children. Oh how I loathe the sound. Which is why I'm glad school has started and I can do my shopping after work in peace.
                        "Kill the fat guy first?! That's racist!" - my friend Ironside at a Belegarth practice after being "killed" first.

                        I belly dance with tall Goblins!

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                        • #13
                          Meh, that was the reason I do my shopping when I do...

                          But apparently, there are some Mrs. Cleavers out there who have to wake their kids up at 7:30freakinAM and go to Wal-Mart!
                          You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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                          • #14
                            Ahhh the supermarket...my number one most hated place on earth at times.

                            Now when I shop, i tune everything out. Generally i have my headphones in, music loud and am happy in my own little world.

                            One day i'm doing my shopping, I turn the corner, stop, look at the selection of cookies (mmmm!) when suddenly i hear WHAM followed by an unholy screaming. Some kid, running wild of course, slammed headfirst into my Trolley...

                            Now mummy dearest, does she tell the child off for running? Does she apologize for her kid running into me? No dear reader - she goes off at ME! "How dare you get in the way of my child? So inconsiderate, so rude'. I calmly say 'I was standing still lady'. She keeps going off - calling me rude, and every swear I can think of (I think she dropped the C-bomb not once but twice - great parenting). I just smiled, put my earphones in and started to walk away...she she grabs my shoulder. Now i do NOT like being touched by strangers...at all...so I turn, with my 'I'm going to murder you' look and told her 'Listen lady, you let go of me right now or i will f**king kill you'. She scurried away, I continued shopping.

                            In retrospect, i wish i had not reacted how I had. Not my finest hour.
                            How ever do they manage to breathe for themselves without having to call tech support? - Argabarga

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                            • #15
                              I have grown children and I feel the same way about children screetching in STORES as I do the kids that screetch in restaurants:

                              Dammit - I put in my time when my kids were little, correcting my kids and removing them from stores and restaurants if they didn't behave. I didn't allow them to ruin other peoples shopping/eating experiences, so I get DOUBLY pissed nowadays that I've raised my kids and consistently have MY shopping/dining experiences ruined because of this new brand of parent that thinks its OH SO CHARMING for little bobby to screetch like a howler monkey!!!

                              Sorry for the threadjack - its a touchy subject for me. Also, is it just me, or are these types of parents getting it WORSE as time goes by? Or am I just getting old and crotchety and less tolerant?
                              "So, if you wanna put places like that outta business, just stop being so rock-chewingly stupid." ~ Raudf, 9/19/13

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