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Or "Why I almost always wait until the DVD becomes available at Blockbusters". This is compiled from the past three years.
-Turn that cell phone off.
-I don't care if the seat behind you is wet with spilled soda. MOVE. You're standing in front of me and blocking the screen.
-If your baby has had an accident or is screaming, get out of the theatre and go to the bathroom.
-Don't change diapers in the theatre. People are eating in here! That's a health violation.
-Don't have sex in the back. This is public. Do you WANT some heckler to dump their soda on you?
-HEY! TURN THAT CELL PHONE OFF!!!
-If you are texting, then the cell phone is not off. Turn it off before the person behind you snatches it and breaks it.
-Don't hold the line up for 15 minutes to decide what you want. You had plenty of time to decide.
-Don't complain about how overpriced the stuff at the concession stand is and then pay anyways. Just go to the nearby convenience store and smuggle in your own candy and soda like everybody else who hates concession-stand prices does.
-Please be quiet. We're trying to watch the film. It's one thing when you're whispering to the person next to you, as opposed to shouting at the top of your lungs to talk to someone on the other side of the theatre.
-If you hate the movie in progress, then get out. Don't just stand in the theatre and scream about how much you hate the movie. There may be people in here enjoying it.
-If you are behind me and you put your feet on the top of my chair, then your shoes will get pulled off.
-The seats can be adjusted. So stop adjusting the seat in front of you. Bonus points for when there is somebody in there.
-Food goes in your mouth. not the floor, not in our hair, not on the seats, your mouth.
-If you can't eat food, throw it in the garbage can please. More Popcorn goes on the floor than in the popper.
-Strollers don't go in front of the exit doors. Say hello to a fire violation.
-I think we need ushers back. Preferably with large sticks to beat cell phones out of peoples' hands. Because that cell phone is still not off.
-This is a movie seat. Not a toilet. The janitors do not deserve seeing piles of **** in an empty movie seat or puddles of urine on the floor when they come to clean the theatre. I know nobody will pause the movie for you to go to the bathroom, which sucks, I know. But if you have to use the bathroom, then go do it in the toilet.
-No not in the hallway. That's not in the toilet.
-Don't leave Popcorn tubs/bags full of **** in the theatre.
-HEY!!! TURN THAT CELL PHONE OFF!
Some of this is also compiled from horror stories from Customerssuck. D:
-Turn that cell phone off.
-I don't care if the seat behind you is wet with spilled soda. MOVE. You're standing in front of me and blocking the screen.
-If your baby has had an accident or is screaming, get out of the theatre and go to the bathroom.
-Don't change diapers in the theatre. People are eating in here! That's a health violation.
-Don't have sex in the back. This is public. Do you WANT some heckler to dump their soda on you?
-HEY! TURN THAT CELL PHONE OFF!!!
-If you are texting, then the cell phone is not off. Turn it off before the person behind you snatches it and breaks it.
-Don't hold the line up for 15 minutes to decide what you want. You had plenty of time to decide.
-Don't complain about how overpriced the stuff at the concession stand is and then pay anyways. Just go to the nearby convenience store and smuggle in your own candy and soda like everybody else who hates concession-stand prices does.
-Please be quiet. We're trying to watch the film. It's one thing when you're whispering to the person next to you, as opposed to shouting at the top of your lungs to talk to someone on the other side of the theatre.
-If you hate the movie in progress, then get out. Don't just stand in the theatre and scream about how much you hate the movie. There may be people in here enjoying it.
-If you are behind me and you put your feet on the top of my chair, then your shoes will get pulled off.
-The seats can be adjusted. So stop adjusting the seat in front of you. Bonus points for when there is somebody in there.
-Food goes in your mouth. not the floor, not in our hair, not on the seats, your mouth.
-If you can't eat food, throw it in the garbage can please. More Popcorn goes on the floor than in the popper.
-Strollers don't go in front of the exit doors. Say hello to a fire violation.
-I think we need ushers back. Preferably with large sticks to beat cell phones out of peoples' hands. Because that cell phone is still not off.
-This is a movie seat. Not a toilet. The janitors do not deserve seeing piles of **** in an empty movie seat or puddles of urine on the floor when they come to clean the theatre. I know nobody will pause the movie for you to go to the bathroom, which sucks, I know. But if you have to use the bathroom, then go do it in the toilet.
-No not in the hallway. That's not in the toilet.
-Don't leave Popcorn tubs/bags full of **** in the theatre.
-HEY!!! TURN THAT CELL PHONE OFF!
Some of this is also compiled from horror stories from Customerssuck. D:
So now tell me, what is your favorite instrument of inflicting bodily/mental/spiritual harm?
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