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I was telling my mother about the two guys from my Nutcases on Parade thread, and she told me a couple stories from her job. She's a night-shift lab technician at a local hospital. Her job is to analyze fluid samples (mainly blood). As such, she only very rarely has any contact with patients, but there is a direct line for the Lab, and some people have managed to get hold of that number.
I should point out that the night shift in the lab is a skeleton crew, but there is still a fairly high volume of work. Any tests ordered in the evening are processed by the night shift and the results need to be ready for when the doctors arrive in the morning. As a result, they have very little time to screw around with someone trying to waste their time.
I'm Unqualified. Hire me.
The phone rings, and my mother answered it. It's 4AM.
Mom: Stat lab.
Idiot: Are you guys hiring?
OK, how did you get this number? It's not published, but the switchboard would not have transferred you unless you asked for the lab. That being the case, you're calling the wrong department, and you're definitely calling at the wrong time.
Mom: I don't know. You'd have to call Personnel, and they aren't in until 8AM.
Idiot: Well, I'm certified to work with blood, just not to test it.
OK, you definitely have the wrong department.
Mom: Well, then you're looking for a job as a phlebotomist.
Idiot: No, that's not it.......
Mom: Well you REALLY need to contact Personnel. They'll be in at 8AM.
And yet, the idiot kept prattling on! Come on, it's 4AM, and you're talking to the wrong department. Besides, if you really knew what you were talking about, you'd know what the position is called, as it's the same at all hospitals.
Seeing as she had better things to do, my mother ended up hanging up on him.
I Don't Trust my Doctor, I Only Trust YOU!
At 7AM the day-shift starts to come on, but night-shift doesn't leave until 8. My mother hates taking calls during this overlap because she doesn't know who all the day-shift people are, and usually its a call for one of them. This call, however, was from a former patient.
Apparently, this woman used to be a patient at this hospital and came to really trust them. She has since moved over a thousand miles away, doesn't have the same confidence in the local health care. So she's taken to calling up my mother's lab and asking them to interpret her test results.
OK, first of all, again, how did you get this number? This is NOT a patient-use number. Second, you're not a patient of this hospital anymore, so piss off and stop wasting our time (my mother used more polite words than that). Third, the lab only generates the test results; they do NOT interpret them. They are NOT QUALIFIED to do that. That's what the DOCTORS are for. If anything, she should be talking to her old primary care physician, not the freaking lab.
Moreover, it seems this woman has been driving the day-shift crazy. Clearly she's somehow gotten the direct line, because the swithcboard has been given orders by hospital security to NOT transfer her to any department other than Security when she calls. Now it's up to the lab to transfer her to security.
My guess is that this will eventually escalate into a police matter, because she will NOT stop calling.
I should point out that the night shift in the lab is a skeleton crew, but there is still a fairly high volume of work. Any tests ordered in the evening are processed by the night shift and the results need to be ready for when the doctors arrive in the morning. As a result, they have very little time to screw around with someone trying to waste their time.
I'm Unqualified. Hire me.
The phone rings, and my mother answered it. It's 4AM.
Mom: Stat lab.
Idiot: Are you guys hiring?
OK, how did you get this number? It's not published, but the switchboard would not have transferred you unless you asked for the lab. That being the case, you're calling the wrong department, and you're definitely calling at the wrong time.
Mom: I don't know. You'd have to call Personnel, and they aren't in until 8AM.
Idiot: Well, I'm certified to work with blood, just not to test it.
OK, you definitely have the wrong department.
Mom: Well, then you're looking for a job as a phlebotomist.
Idiot: No, that's not it.......
Mom: Well you REALLY need to contact Personnel. They'll be in at 8AM.
And yet, the idiot kept prattling on! Come on, it's 4AM, and you're talking to the wrong department. Besides, if you really knew what you were talking about, you'd know what the position is called, as it's the same at all hospitals.
Seeing as she had better things to do, my mother ended up hanging up on him.
I Don't Trust my Doctor, I Only Trust YOU!
At 7AM the day-shift starts to come on, but night-shift doesn't leave until 8. My mother hates taking calls during this overlap because she doesn't know who all the day-shift people are, and usually its a call for one of them. This call, however, was from a former patient.
Apparently, this woman used to be a patient at this hospital and came to really trust them. She has since moved over a thousand miles away, doesn't have the same confidence in the local health care. So she's taken to calling up my mother's lab and asking them to interpret her test results.
OK, first of all, again, how did you get this number? This is NOT a patient-use number. Second, you're not a patient of this hospital anymore, so piss off and stop wasting our time (my mother used more polite words than that). Third, the lab only generates the test results; they do NOT interpret them. They are NOT QUALIFIED to do that. That's what the DOCTORS are for. If anything, she should be talking to her old primary care physician, not the freaking lab.
Moreover, it seems this woman has been driving the day-shift crazy. Clearly she's somehow gotten the direct line, because the swithcboard has been given orders by hospital security to NOT transfer her to any department other than Security when she calls. Now it's up to the lab to transfer her to security.
My guess is that this will eventually escalate into a police matter, because she will NOT stop calling.
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