Bruises Don't Equal Abuse!

[Mamadrae]

I usually show up places with bruises and such, hubby too. We constantly joke that we'll be found dead some day and cops will think we attacked each other or something. In reality, we both suffered klutz attacks.

Surprisingly I've never been asked if I've been abused. Likely because it only takes seeing me angry once to know that if I got hit I'd break someone. Yay for 3 older brothers, hat pins, and an ability to dent metal things with my fist.

[Amina516]

Most likely your cousin did get dirty looks. Working in the hospital, whenever a kid came in with any kind of injury, even a papercut, the staff usually cried abuse. Had a child admitted who got ahold of some boiling hot water and the staff cried abuse. One guy set them straight saying he knew the family and it wasn't like them to abuse the kids. Yeah, that shut 'em up considering only a few of us had kids and don't like to be thought of as monsters.

Part of the issue there is that licensed healthcare workers are REQUIRED by law to report when they suspect abuse. So anything that even looks remotely fishy, will be treated as such. Their (and my!) jobs depend on it

I dont always agree with that but I dont know what else thered be to do..

[RecoveringKinkoid]

When I first showed up to work at Public Television, I did so with my upper arm bandaged, bruises, cuts, scrapes, and puncture wounds on the other arm, one forearm bandaged, and both hands cut up.

I was wondering why people were acting kind of odd around me. Until the third day they caught me on the phone with DHEC discussing the cat that had mauled me.

Yeah. They thought I was an abused woman. Why, I dont' know, I didn't think my injuries were consistent with blunt trauma. But they all saw bandages and for some reason that was the first thing they thought.

I know this because when they found out the real story, they admitted that they had previously suspected a man of having done it.

I wonder what kind of stuff the female SCA heavy fighters have to put up with. Heavy fighters are always covered with bruises and "armor bites."

[Misanthropical]

Part of the issue there is that licensed healthcare workers are REQUIRED by law to report when they suspect abuse. So anything that even looks remotely fishy, will be treated as such. Their (and my!) jobs depend on it

I dont always agree with that but I dont know what else thered be to do..

I had to go to the hospital a few times and both times they asked me, in front of my husband, if I was being hurt at home. I asked the nurse if it wouldn't make more sense to ask when the suspected abuser isn't sitting right there? How many women are going to admit it right in front of their abuser?

The last time I went, the nurse waited till he left the room to ask, which made more sense. Of course, the things I went in for would not be consistent with abuse, but I guess they are required to ask.

[Golden Phoenix]

I am curretnly black and blue from hip to ankle thanks to a trip down the stairs. I wore shorts today, and got some very odd looks.

Thanks to this thread i think i may have figured out why...

[bunnyboy]

really surprised nobody's given me strange looks or asked if I'm abused due to my half the year appears bruised sinus area, dark circles from insomnia and various burn marks from verdamnt hot hold boxes and a super-microwave.

but then again it's probably because I'm a guy and well [sacasm] WE don't get abused. [/sarcasm]

Actually been on that side before, and well the person didn't leave me with any marks, but I'm especially picky with guys thanks to him.

[AriRashkae]

I had to go to the hospital a few times and both times they asked me, in front of my husband, if I was being hurt at home. I asked the nurse if it wouldn't make more sense to ask when the suspected abuser isn't sitting right there? How many women are going to admit it right in front of their abuser?

The last time I went, the nurse waited till he left the room to ask, which made more sense. Of course, the things I went in for would not be consistent with abuse, but I guess they are required to ask.

My doctor's office used to call me in first "for vitals" (and honestly, the 2 rooms really were tiny), ask me if I felt safe at home, and did I want my husband there with me. Since it was usually my physical, I didn't see a need. But at least they were tactful and professional.

[wagegoth]

It's good that people ask, it's good if they let you know they are sympathetic, it's not good if they behave in a way that could be considered abusive.

If you or a loved one has ever been abused, you do tend to get hyper about seeing marks on people, especially women and children.

[mariamousie1]

It's funny, my mom fell facefirst onto a sidewalk a few months ago and got two black eyes, and nobody ever said a word to her. I hope you feel better soon! That must suck, being dizzy all the time.

[Moggie]

I wonder what kind of stuff the female SCA heavy fighters have to put up with. Heavy fighters are always covered with bruises and "armor bites."

As a female heavy fighter, I've had all kinds of fun stories. After one particularly fun event though I had an idea. All the really big welts I had collected over the weekend, I got the guys to sign. So when I went into the office it was "Oh Sir so-and-so did this one see, and Lord Whathisface got me here" It was just a big weird show-and-tell.
The next weekend one of the other women admitted to being a dirtbiker and showed off the giant bruises where she laid the bike down in a rocky trail. Everybody in the place lightened up after that.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Hehehehehehe....I don't think heavies are much different than lights (I'm a light) in that we loooove to show off our welts and bruises. We get them too, they just aren't as full as shock and awe as the ones you all get.

It's a macho thing, I think. Even for chicks.

The worst I got marked up was in the trail accident, though. I had a bruise the size of a catcher's mitt on my hip. Fortunately, nobody could see that one.

[Amina516]

I had to go to the hospital a few times and both times they asked me, in front of my husband, if I was being hurt at home. I asked the nurse if it wouldn't make more sense to ask when the suspected abuser isn't sitting right there? How many women are going to admit it right in front of their abuser?

The last time I went, the nurse waited till he left the room to ask, which made more sense. Of course, the things I went in for would not be consistent with abuse, but I guess they are required to ask.

I agree .. it would make more sense. Part of my admissions database when admitting a new patient is asking "Do you feel safe at home?", depending on the circumstance Ill sometimes ask when others are in the room. I know..its dumb

The local Womens hospital has a policy of bringing the women back alone for "vitals" and asking about safety.

[AccountingDrone]

I wonder what kind of stuff the female SCA heavy fighters have to put up with. Heavy fighters are always covered with bruises and "armor bites."

LOL back in the 70s when I fought at work they understood, but I was already covered with bruises and scrapes, I was a machinist and always getting bashed around at work. Anybody who knew me expected to see me bashed up and normally I always wore long sleeves and pants anyway [Im not overly girly, hate frilly cutsey girly clothes. no skirts, shorts and cute blouses. Im a jeans and tshirt type.]

Anybody else who asked, I invited to come to practice or an event, and they quickly understood =)

[AccountingDrone]

I agree .. it would make more sense. Part of my admissions database when admitting a new patient is asking "Do you feel safe at home?", depending on the circumstance Ill sometimes ask when others are in the room. I know..its dumb

The local Womens hospital has a policy of bringing the women back alone for "vitals" and asking about safety.

LOL for the entire month of july and august until my operation i was having weekly doc visits, with lots of bloodwork. My arms and hands were covered with needle marks and bruising. It looks like I was a serious junkie or something and got bashed around [some of my meds make me bruise if the cat looks at me funny, it seems ]

I got the funkiest look at one time at the grocery when I had to reach for a melon and my arm had a bruise on the back hand, one at the base of the thumb where it hits the wrist, the wrist, the elbow inside the size of a whole hand [3 different veins punctured] and the outside of the elbow.

I was about to request a PICC line to get put in ... I was running out of spots to get punched

[mandaliz8704]

It's weird. People have asked me relatively recently if I'm being abused... but nobody ever asked me when I actually *was* being abused. Funny.