Alliterative Suck: Cruelty to Christmas Carolers

[Antisocial_Worker]

As seen by my father.

Long story short, my father is on dialysis and three times a week, he goes in for a four hour treatment wherein, as I understand it, they suck out his blood, purify it and remove excess fluids, and then put it back in. Modern medicine is a wonder to behold. Nobody enjoys dialysis. Nobody on dialysis could be considered especially healthy -- your quality of life is in the shitter and it's very likely you don't have all that long to live anyway.

That said, nobody's happy to be at the dialysis clinic, but the staff tries to make it as endurable and comfortable a process as possible.

From time to time, others want to chime in and help make the process a little better. On Tuesday, my dad went in for his usual treatment and as a treat, a local church had sent a group of Christmas carolers by to cheer up the people undergoing the procedure.

Personally I, as well as my dad, thought this was a very thoughtful gesture and a nice surprise. Besides, it's either that or you just stare at the TV for the next four hours like normal.

All went well, with the patients enjoying the songs, until the carolers got down to one of the treatment rooms and were rewarded by the man inside screaming at them to shut the hell up and get the fuck away from him because he didn't need that goddamn shit right now. Then, just to make sure the point was made clear, he told the carolers to go fuck themselves.

When my dad relayed this story to me, I thought it ironic that it was taking place in a dialysis clinic of all places -- the one place above all others where you ought to be able to get some help for that problem you have with piss and vinegar in your veins.

I mean really... they were just trying to be nice. Why be such an asshole?

Oh, wait... I forgot where I was for a moment. Don't answer that.

[Flying Grype]

Mff... on the other hand, it seems a bit condescending for people to go around 'cheering up' others who are in dire situations. Especially with something like Christmas carols -- were they secular songs or religious? I know if I was dying of systemic organ failure and people came crooning about how the Baby Jesus saved all our souls, I would be having a little atheist hissy-fit.

Not everybody is cheered up by any one particular 'nice' thing that people do for the sake of cheering others up, and it's not appropriate to expect everyone to love it or pretend to love it when they don't. Sometimes it's not the thought that counts, sometimes people just want a little peace.

[Magpie]

Hey, I'd be annoyed if Christmas carolers came out to try and "cheer me up" this early in the year (especially from a church, which should know better), but I'd be able to avoid cussing them out that way. Even if I was ill. As I read it, the patient being annoyed isn't what the main suck is, but his reaction. Even if the caroler had been doing something obviously wrong, the reaction was overboard. Since the caroler was [misguidedly?] trying to do a service, it's all the less reasonable.

[Antisocial_Worker]

Not everybody is cheered up by any one particular 'nice' thing that people do for the sake of cheering others up, and it's not appropriate to expect everyone to love it or pretend to love it when they don't. Sometimes it's not the thought that counts, sometimes people just want a little peace.

In which case you politely decline. As I understood it, the carolers said hello and asked each patient if they'd like to hear a song first, and when one of the ladies poked her head in the door of Mr. Grumpy's treatment room to greet him and ask him if he'd like them to sing, he blasted off.

[Flying Grype]

In which case you politely decline. As I understood it, the carolers said hello and asked each patient if they'd like to hear a song first, and when one of the ladies poked her head in the door of Mr. Grumpy's treatment room to greet him and ask him if he'd like them to sing, he blasted off.

Honestly, I think I would blast off too, if I were in that situation. What if he just wanted some privacy? Did she knock? I would rather the nurse asked me if I'd like to hear carols, and then went and told the carollers yes or no, rather than having a stranger poke her head into my room while I'm having treatment.

[Gerrinson]

Honestly, I think I would blast off too, if I were in that situation. What if he just wanted some privacy? Did she knock? I would rather the nurse asked me if I'd like to hear carols, and then went and told the carollers yes or no, rather than having a stranger poke her head into my room while I'm having treatment.

I'm pretty tetchy about this stuff, especially when sick, but I think any reasonable person would be at least civil, if not polite, when telling them no. If they decided to sing anyway, then I would have no qualms about telling them off like the sucky guy in the story.

Hopefully my black santa hat with 'Bah Humbug' emblazoned across the front would get the message through to them without any speaking.

[Broomjockey]

I would rather the nurse asked me if I'd like to hear carols, and then went and told the carollers yes or no,

I think the nurses are busy, doing, ya know, treatment stuff. Having to play herald to protect everyone's sensibilities isn't exactly in their job description. I'd hope that were you ever really in such a situation you'd recognize that they were attempting something they thought was nice, so even though it doesn't align with your desires, you'd move them along abuse-free.

[Flying Grype]

I'd hope that were you ever really in such a situation you'd recognize that they were attempting something they thought was nice, so even though it doesn't align with your desires, you'd move them along abuse-free.

I hope the carolers would realise that the people they're trying to cheer up may just not be in a stable, sociable frame of mind, and the patients are the ones whose needs and desires need to be met. If the carolers are just doing this to get praise and fake smiles, they're doing it for the wrong reasons. They need to consider that people might not want their brand of cheering up.

(Agreed that the nurses are too busy to be messing around with the carolers, but in that case do the carolers have to come foist themselves on anyone at all? I think permission and respecting privacy are incredibly important in a hospital situation.)

What if a patient is trying to sleep or rest and doesn't want to sit up and pay attention to entertainment? What if they're in pain or feeling vulnerable or exposed and don't want anyone to see them? What if they expressed their frustration and stress by crying instead of by getting angry -- would that be any better or more respectable?

[Broomjockey]

What if a patient is trying to sleep or rest and doesn't want to sit up and pay attention to entertainment? What if they're in pain or feeling vulnerable or exposed and don't want anyone to see them? What if they expressed their frustration and stress by crying instead of by getting angry -- would that be any better or more respectable?

This has now officially crossed the border from "CS acceptable" to "Fratching material." Since we don't condone abuse of anyone, caroller or csr, no matter your state, I was trying to subtly give you an out. You didn't take it, so here we go:

That behaviour is unacceptable, the behaviour of the old gentleman was unacceptable. It's abusive, rude, and just plain not nice. If you want to argue in favour of it, please, make a new thread on Fratching.

[Andara Bledin]

I don't completely blame the guy. Sure, it's sucky to have to deal with that, but I'd rather be yelled at than have to go through dialysis several times a week. But even pain isn't an excuse to be a dick.

I'm not rude about it, but I actively despise most Christmas carols, secular and religious alike. Having a group of carolers coming through a building where I was effectively bed-ridden would likely set off any attached condition monitors for me.

Hell, just today one of my co-workers was unwittingly pissing me off by playing his radio louder than usual with holiday music going. I just turned my own music on, and problem solved.

I don't know how I managed to survive 7 years of school band when we had to do the usual songs every year for the typical concert runs.

^-.-^

[Pagan]

Jeez, excuse them for trying to do something nice for a fellow human being!

I'm not rude about it, but I actively despise most Christmas carols, secular and religious alike. Having a group of carolers coming through a building where I was effectively bed-ridden would likely set off any attached condition monitors for me.

Have you tried them with "alternative" lyrics? Instead of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland" (which I hate because it involves snow), try "Walkin' 'Round in Womens Underwear". The there's the "12 Pains of Christmas".

Of course, I like the one like "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer", "There's Something Stuck Up in the Chimney", and, of course, "Santa Clause and his Old Lady" by Cheech & Chong.

Yes, I am a little twisted, why do you ask?

[Peppergirl]

I...umm.....

Am I the worlds biggest shitheel because I just laughed reall REALLY hard at HH's colorful description of this encounter?

I mean, it's kinda sad, but at the same time I'm picturing it, and I just keep

[Flying Grype]

Apologies for missing the subtlety. I'll shut up. Honestly, I don't believe it was "right" for him to be abusive, just understandable.

[Geek King]

Have you tried them with "alternative" lyrics? Instead of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland" (which I hate because it involves snow), try "Walkin' 'Round in Womens Underwear". The there's the "12 Pains of Christmas".

Of course, I like the one like "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer", "There's Something Stuck Up in the Chimney", and, of course, "Santa Clause and his Old Lady" by Cheech & Chong.

Let's not forget perennial favorites like "Christmas at Ground Zero" and "I wanna Hippopatamous for Christmas."

[Magpie]

-any klezmer Christmas carol
-Marching band version of Silent Night
-White Christmas as a reel (with a strong brogue to go with)