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  • Scatterbrained waiter

    My husband and I went out to our favorite Chinese restaurant yesterday for lunch/dinner. We got there around 2:15 and there was a 25 minute wait. No problem, we kind of expected that as this place is very popular and has always been busy when we go there, no matter what time. So we waited and got our table around 2:35.

    We looked over the menu a bit, and decided what we wanted to order, then waited...and waited...it was a good 7-8 minutes since we had been seated and we had seen a waiter and a waitress running around the section we were in, but neither had not stopped to give us water or take a drink order. Finally the waitress looked at our table and must have noticed we didn't have drinks. She came up to us and asked if our waiter had taken our drink order, we told her no. She said, "I don't know where he went, I'm sorry." She took our drink order, and our food order since we were ready to order. They were slammed, so we weren't really annoyed at this point.

    About a minute later, the waiter showed up with our drinks. I had ordered a cup of soup and my husband had ordered some dim sum, besides both of us ordering an entree. A few minutes later, the waiter brought out the soup and attempted to give it to my husband, who politely told him that the soup was for me. The waiter also brought out a small plate of some kind of noodles in a light soy sauce. We thought they went with my husband's entree, since my husband had ordered a chef special which neither of us had ever had, so we weren't sure what it all included. We each had some of the noodles, which were good, and my husband got his dim sum.

    Then the waiter brought out my entree, and again attempted to give it to my husband, who again told him it was for me. This kind of annoyed me because it was like the waiter was ignoring me. When he brought out my husband's entree, he asked, "Is there anything else I can get for you, sir?" While looking at my husband, and ignoring me. He also stopped by a couple times while we were eating and asked, "How is the duck, sir?" Again, directly to my husband, while ignoring me.

    Anyway, when the waiter brought my meal out, he also took the plate of noodles away from us, saying, "Oops, I gave these to you by mistake." When the waiter brought my husband's meal out, he also set a plate of egg rolls down on our table. My husband and I looked at each other and said, "I bet he gave these to us by mistake, too." Sure enough, a few minutes later, the waiter came hurrying back and grabbed the egg rolls (which we hadn't touched) and said, "Sorry, these aren't yours."

    And then he turned around and set them down for a couple seated at the table next to us.

    I should have called a manager at that point to complain. It's no skin off our back since he did give us everything we ordered (and extra) but seriously...what if we had handled those eggrolls? And the more I thought about it, if he did it to that couple, maybe he did it to us, too? What if he gave one of our plates to another table, and then picked it back up and gave it to us? I wouldn't want my food having been handled by another guest before eating it.

    Unfortunately, they were so busy and we had already been there about an hour and a half as it was, and it honestly didn't occur to me to talk to a manager until after we had left. We've never had trouble with any of the wait staff at this restaurant before. Even when we've gone when it's been really busy, like it was yesterday when we went, the staff has always been very prompt and friendly and accurate and the food has been good.

  • #2
    That was so rude of the waiter to ignore you.

    Hubby and I once were buying some pretzels at the mall. I was paying. I placed the order, handed over the cash, and the cashier then turned to my husband as he was taking the money from me and said "Thank you, sir." Um...WTF? He's broke, I'm the one standing in front of you and paying you! WTF?
    Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

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    • #3
      That is so annoying. When I get service like that, I can't help but think, "dang, I could have just cooked some pasta or something for a fraction of the cost and I wouldn't have had to put up with this." The point of going out to eat is because it's enjoyable! When servers are that harebrained then it really defeats the entire purpose of dining out. I'm sorry you had to deal with that

      Quoth bhskittykatt View Post
      Hubby and I once were buying some pretzels at the mall. I was paying. I placed the order, handed over the cash, and the cashier then turned to my husband as he was taking the money from me and said "Thank you, sir." Um...WTF? He's broke, I'm the one standing in front of you and paying you! WTF?
      That's happened to me too, just last night actually. BF and I went out to a restaurant, and when the bill came, the server gave it to him. That's fine, they must assume he would pay for me, but I was going to pay. So I put my card in the holder. The server comes back and tells him "I'll be back in a minute, sir." Umm... okay. Then when the server came back, they handed my card back to him. I guess they didn't read the name on the card at all because my BF doesn't look like an [obvious girl name]! For fun, I signed my name with hearts over the 'i' Guess some people still think girls don't have money other than their husbands'?
      !
      "For truth is always strange; stranger than fiction." -- Lord Byron

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      • #4
        I'm ex-military, and while not a feminist, I'm not exactly a wall-flower, either.

        The one time something like this happened to me, my husband got this look that said "Oh boy, are you in for it", grinned, and stepped back. I guess my husband's look said it all, 'cuz the guy paled and apologized to me.

        Teamwork can be a wonderful thing.
        Sorry, my cow died so I don't need your bull

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        • #5
          EvilEmpryss, Mr. Mis and I are the same way, except I'm not ex-military. Mr. Mis always like to say to the person before I rip them to shreds "Well, now you did it" and step back.
          Do not annoy the woman with the flamethrower!

          If you don't like it, I believe you can go to hell! ~Trinity from The Matrix

          Yes, MadMike does live under my couch.

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          • #6
            The OP's experience was very similar to one I had the LAST time I went to Chili's Restaurant. Emphasis on LAST because I'm never going back!

            DH and I each ordered bacon cheeseburgers. When the waiter set a burger in front of me, I didn't see any bacon sticking out anywhere, so I fingered through it looking for the bacon. When I didn't find any, I called the water back and told him I didn't have any bacon. He took it back and said, "Oops, that belongs to someone else," and turned and gave it to a guy 2 tables away.

            You better believe I called for a manager!! I don't know what, if anything. was done, but it looked like the other guy just ate the burger and was never told.

            As I said, I'll never be back!
            Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end.

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            • #7
              Now THAT is a sucky waiter. He acted like you didn't even exist! What, did he have something against women?

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              • #8
                Quoth Primer View Post
                The OP's experience was very similar to one I had the LAST time I went to Chili's Restaurant. Emphasis on LAST because I'm never going back!

                DH and I each ordered bacon cheeseburgers. When the waiter set a burger in front of me, I didn't see any bacon sticking out anywhere, so I fingered through it looking for the bacon. When I didn't find any, I called the water back and told him I didn't have any bacon. He took it back and said, "Oops, that belongs to someone else," and turned and gave it to a guy 2 tables away.

                You better believe I called for a manager!! I don't know what, if anything. was done, but it looked like the other guy just ate the burger and was never told.

                As I said, I'll never be back!
                I would have definitely said something!

                Not only to the waiter. But to the other table. Loudly.

                You can bet if there is not one, but two tables outraged at the completely and utterly unsanitary thing the waiter did, the manager will be involved. Very quickly.

                Thats akin to dropping food on the ground, then putting it back on a plate and serving it. Who knows how many other people that waiter has done that very same thing to?

                I'm not one to do the "I'LL HAVE YOUR JOB!!" routine, but in this case, that waiter should be fired. Instantly. IMO.

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                • #9
                  We had something similar happen once when we orderd pizza. They left us 1 boli and 1 pizza instead of the 2 pizzas we ordered. We called them back and they said they had to pick up the boli to deliver it to the correct customer!! Ugh. It was at the house for a total of 15 minutes. We could have done just about anything to that boli and it wouldve been delivered to another customer. I never ordered from them again.

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                  • #10
                    LOL, is it possible he just fears addressing women on the job? With a guy, you can just say "sir" and that's that. But with women....If you say "ma'am" some women get offended because it makes them feel old. If you say "miss" some women get offended because they're married. If you say "madam", again, some women get offended because it makes them feel old. "Lady" is too informal. Need I go on? Sometimes it's hard to know WHAT to say!

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                    • #11
                      Barracuda, don't forget the various forms of "sugar", "sweetie", "honey", "girlie", "babe", and "missy".

                      Frankly, some women need to get the stick out of their asses and realize that if someone is trying to be polite (not sexist, not sarcastic, just misguidedly polite), then they should roll with it. A gentle correction of "many women don't like being called that but are too uncomfortable to say so" can do a lot more to change someone's behavior than a rant ending with "I'll never shop here again!!!111!eleventy!!!11"

                      If the guy's being intentionally sexist, though (and yes, we can usually tell the jackasses from the untutored), then by all means, unload with both barrels. My favorite when confronted by a guy's inability to process that a woman could possibly be a competant machinist/welder was "What confuses you more, my tits or my rank?"

                      The whole miss/mizz/ma'am/mrs./madam thing annoys the crap out of me. Guys are honestly trying to do the right thing and be sensitive to women's issues and women's rights, but we women have to muck it up by refusing to agree on even the simplest of things. Guys are mister their whole lives through... if the honorific's point is mere social politeness based on gender and women don't want to be publically judged based on their marital status, then there needs to be some concensus on a single form of address and all women of all ages use it. I find "Ms." (pronounced "mizz") to be rather pretentious, but since that seems to be the accepted compromise I'd have no problem addressing all women with it or being addressed by it myself... if we could just agree on it once and for all.

                      But hey, I actually prefered being addressed by my very gender-neutral Staff Sergeant rank, so what do I know?
                      Sorry, my cow died so I don't need your bull

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                      • #12
                        I always find that "miss" works the best, even if they're married, since it flatters them that you think they look so young. I don't mind being called miss or ma'am. I do mind it when you thank my husband as you're handing me the change back because I'm the one paying!
                        Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

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                        • #13
                          But... but... what's wrong with correcting the wrong title politely? I've done so many times - a person says "ma'am" and I respond, "Sorry, not married yet *smile*". They've never gotten upset for that.
                          A man can be stupid and not know it, but not if he is married.

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                          • #14
                            From what my I was told, the titles are:

                            Master= young boy (although it did bug me when my grandmother sent my sons cards with Master on it, since the meaning has changed, but I loved her more than anything and let it go).

                            Sir= a married man and/or older man.

                            Miss= young girl or woman who has never been married.

                            Mrs= Married woman who took her husband's last name.

                            Ms= A divorced woman.

                            The people at my pharmacy call me Ms. and since I have never been divorced, I plan on telling them in a very nice way that my proper title is Mrs. They know I'm not a sucky customer, so it shouldn't be a problem.

                            I could be totally wrong on the titles. I'm just passing on what I was told, so don't get mad at me.
                            Do not annoy the woman with the flamethrower!

                            If you don't like it, I believe you can go to hell! ~Trinity from The Matrix

                            Yes, MadMike does live under my couch.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Here are the Wikipedia articles on the forms of address:

                              Master for a boy under the age of 13.

                              Sir as a courtesy title to address a man without using his given or family name.

                              Miss for an unmarried woman.

                              Mrs. for a married woman.

                              Ms for any woman.
                              "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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