Tweet
Wherein a SC tried to ride the "Fat Man's" laurels. - Sorry it's long
What some people will do all in the name of the almighty dollar makes me weep for humanity. 
As many of you know, I live in an extremely small city, managing an ISP, and lately have begun the process of putting down "Roots". This involves much giving back to the community.
My son started minor hockey this year, and is absolutely loving it. He is doing so well, I became inspired to help, and now I am his team Manager. I handle the logistics for games and practices, coordinate fundraising, that sort of thing.
This summer My wife and I took our training to become motormen of our beautiful Streetcar #23 which is a 105 year old light rail tramcar (Trolly for americans), and I also signed up as a director of the tramway society.
The best thing so far was hearing that I was nominated to be Santa for our equivalent of the Santa Claus Parade. I got to ride in a ladder truck, and with a little bit of "North Pole Magic", light the christmas trees on our main commercial street Downtown. I was humbled and honoured to be filling such big boots, and to keep the mystery that is Santa, I chose not to tell very many that I would be taking on the role. </bs>
WHich brings me to todays sighting that has a delicious side of pwnage d'patron.
I have been finally able to get started on my christmas shopping today, do to my previously mentioned hectic schedule. so as I am out and about looking for some "Dress-Up" outfits for my daughter. As I am at one of the local shops searching for stuff, and waiting for the clerk to assist the SC so I can ask about her offerings. I hear this little gem:
Cast:
SC: we know this one
AC: Awesome clerk
Me:
P: Pastor at local church
SC: C'mon! Can't you do anything for me?
AC: I'm sorry, but I HAVE to charge what I charge. THis is an extremely expensive city to do business in, and I need to be able to do Christmas for my kids too.
SC: I know that! I just thought you would show some community spirit and help a guy out that does so much for your community.
Me:
AC: Lowering my prices is not going to enhance the community, especially if I have to close shop, and lay-off my workers. What exactly do you do that warrants such a discount?
SC: I MADE it so you could be open for Christmas shoppers. I was the Baker Street Santa this year, and I do so much for the youth and the community, I can't believe that you won't help a guy out who does so much for his community?
Me:
...Um, Excuse me??
SC: I'm BUSY!!!! STFU for a minute!
Me: Are you trying to tell me that you were the Baker ST Santa this year??
SC: Yes I Was!!!!
Me: No you weren't.
SC: Yes I was! How dare you call me a liar.
Me: I am not calling you a liar, I am telling you that you are lying.
SC: Whatever asshole. I do more for the community than you ever will!
Me: doubtful, but I can't believe that you would sell out an icon like Santa just to get a better deal.
SC: I help my community! I am BSS! Just F..k off!
Me: I know you are not, and never were the BSS.
SC: Whatever. YOu're just talking shit!
Me: I happen to know the BSS from this year rather well.
SC: (Paled a bit) ..You do not! I don't know you from Adam!
Me: Well I DO know who it was cuz I see the guy every morning in the mirror.
SC: (Paled a bit more) Oh, so now you are trying to take credit for MY good deeds.
Me: No. I am trying to prevent you from totally embarrassing yourself, however I think you are on a mission today. If you like, I can prove it...
SC: I would like to see you try!
AC:
Me: (Whips out my iPhone) I had a video camera while I was in the bucket of the ladder truck. want to see?
In walks P
SC: YOu're lying!
Me: Yes. Just because I have nothing better to do than to produce a video just to make you look bad.
P: What is going on Q?
Me: (after providing a quick summary) Mr. Wonderful here thinks that he is entitled to the "Key to the City".
SC: Whatever fags! Say what you want. I do so much for the community! I help the kids! I help at the soup kitchen and food bank!
P: Say What?
SC: I help out this city. Without me people would starve!
P: That is doubtful. I have ran that church for 15 years now, and as I recall, you have always been one of our greediest and selfish patrons. I seem to remember having to have you removed several times by law enforcement. I doubt you have done anything for another human being in your life!
SC: ...
P: Great Job as Santa this year Q!
Me: Thanks Jim. it was fun.
SC: Talking shit. I can't believe this! imgoingtocallmylawyerandsueforslander blargle blah !!!eleventy!!
AC: Ok. That will do with the cussing. You can now leave my store.
SC: You can't do that! I am the customer, and it is illegal for you to refuse a sale
AC: (activates silent alarm) No, the law states that I have the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason, provided it does not violate the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. Customers are defined as individuals who purchase items at a store. Since all you have done is come in with a fabricated story in an effort to take credit for what others do is beyond depraved. You are sick, and twisted, and have no business being in my store. now GTFO!
SC: Whatever Bitch! You CAN'T do this to me!!
AC: You're right. I can't. But he can. (pointing to the Door)
Police: GET YOUR HANDS ONTO THAT DESK. YOU SO MUCH AS FART, AND I WILL DEPLOY MY TASER ON YOU!!!!...
SC: Fuck this!!! I am never shopping here again!!! You just lost a customer!!
AC: I think I could live with that.
COP: After this, I can safely say by the end of the week, you will be forbidden to do business in this town. after you get through with court, you might want to move.
P: You can add my church to that list. I may be a man of God, but I can't believe the lies and deception from this jerk! He is not welcome at my soup kitchen ever!
Arrested, and charged with mischief, Criminal Trespassing, and disturbing the peace. I just got out of court from testifying, and the judge issued a peace bond that bars this individual from entering any store in Nelson, and the main church that helps the homeless, and poor.
As many of you know, I live in an extremely small city, managing an ISP, and lately have begun the process of putting down "Roots". This involves much giving back to the community.
My son started minor hockey this year, and is absolutely loving it. He is doing so well, I became inspired to help, and now I am his team Manager. I handle the logistics for games and practices, coordinate fundraising, that sort of thing.
This summer My wife and I took our training to become motormen of our beautiful Streetcar #23 which is a 105 year old light rail tramcar (Trolly for americans), and I also signed up as a director of the tramway society.
The best thing so far was hearing that I was nominated to be Santa for our equivalent of the Santa Claus Parade. I got to ride in a ladder truck, and with a little bit of "North Pole Magic", light the christmas trees on our main commercial street Downtown. I was humbled and honoured to be filling such big boots, and to keep the mystery that is Santa, I chose not to tell very many that I would be taking on the role. </bs>
WHich brings me to todays sighting that has a delicious side of pwnage d'patron.
I have been finally able to get started on my christmas shopping today, do to my previously mentioned hectic schedule. so as I am out and about looking for some "Dress-Up" outfits for my daughter. As I am at one of the local shops searching for stuff, and waiting for the clerk to assist the SC so I can ask about her offerings. I hear this little gem:
Cast:
SC: we know this one
AC: Awesome clerk
Me:
P: Pastor at local church
SC: C'mon! Can't you do anything for me?
AC: I'm sorry, but I HAVE to charge what I charge. THis is an extremely expensive city to do business in, and I need to be able to do Christmas for my kids too.
SC: I know that! I just thought you would show some community spirit and help a guy out that does so much for your community.
Me:
AC: Lowering my prices is not going to enhance the community, especially if I have to close shop, and lay-off my workers. What exactly do you do that warrants such a discount?
SC: I MADE it so you could be open for Christmas shoppers. I was the Baker Street Santa this year, and I do so much for the youth and the community, I can't believe that you won't help a guy out who does so much for his community?
Me:
...Um, Excuse me?? SC: I'm BUSY!!!! STFU for a minute!
Me: Are you trying to tell me that you were the Baker ST Santa this year??
SC: Yes I Was!!!!
Me: No you weren't.
SC: Yes I was! How dare you call me a liar.
Me: I am not calling you a liar, I am telling you that you are lying.
SC: Whatever asshole. I do more for the community than you ever will!
Me: doubtful, but I can't believe that you would sell out an icon like Santa just to get a better deal.
SC: I help my community! I am BSS! Just F..k off!
Me: I know you are not, and never were the BSS.
SC: Whatever. YOu're just talking shit!
Me: I happen to know the BSS from this year rather well.
SC: (Paled a bit) ..You do not! I don't know you from Adam!
Me: Well I DO know who it was cuz I see the guy every morning in the mirror.
SC: (Paled a bit more) Oh, so now you are trying to take credit for MY good deeds.
Me: No. I am trying to prevent you from totally embarrassing yourself, however I think you are on a mission today. If you like, I can prove it...
SC: I would like to see you try!
AC:
Me: (Whips out my iPhone) I had a video camera while I was in the bucket of the ladder truck. want to see?
In walks P
SC: YOu're lying!
Me: Yes. Just because I have nothing better to do than to produce a video just to make you look bad.
P: What is going on Q?
Me: (after providing a quick summary) Mr. Wonderful here thinks that he is entitled to the "Key to the City".
SC: Whatever fags! Say what you want. I do so much for the community! I help the kids! I help at the soup kitchen and food bank!
P:
Say What?SC: I help out this city. Without me people would starve!
P: That is doubtful. I have ran that church for 15 years now, and as I recall, you have always been one of our greediest and selfish patrons. I seem to remember having to have you removed several times by law enforcement. I doubt you have done anything for another human being in your life!
SC: ...
P: Great Job as Santa this year Q!
Me: Thanks Jim. it was fun.
SC: Talking shit. I can't believe this! imgoingtocallmylawyerandsueforslander blargle blah !!!eleventy!!
AC: Ok. That will do with the cussing. You can now leave my store.
SC: You can't do that! I am the customer, and it is illegal for you to refuse a sale
AC: (activates silent alarm) No, the law states that I have the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason, provided it does not violate the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. Customers are defined as individuals who purchase items at a store. Since all you have done is come in with a fabricated story in an effort to take credit for what others do is beyond depraved. You are sick, and twisted, and have no business being in my store. now GTFO!
SC: Whatever Bitch! You CAN'T do this to me!!
AC: You're right. I can't. But he can. (pointing to the Door)
Police: GET YOUR HANDS ONTO THAT DESK. YOU SO MUCH AS FART, AND I WILL DEPLOY MY TASER ON YOU!!!!...
SC: Fuck this!!! I am never shopping here again!!! You just lost a customer!!
AC: I think I could live with that.
COP: After this, I can safely say by the end of the week, you will be forbidden to do business in this town. after you get through with court, you might want to move.
P: You can add my church to that list. I may be a man of God, but I can't believe the lies and deception from this jerk! He is not welcome at my soup kitchen ever!
Arrested, and charged with mischief, Criminal Trespassing, and disturbing the peace. I just got out of court from testifying, and the judge issued a peace bond that bars this individual from entering any store in Nelson, and the main church that helps the homeless, and poor.
Comment