If you're going to pig out on my food, then it would be nice if you'd contribute...

[donruss]

When the ex and I would host, we had a flake just like this one. Never contributed, always ate everything, and we'd end up spending more money ordering pizza or something else.

After the third time, we decided not again, let everyone else know and those that brought stuff hid their items in the fridge. Flake showed up searching for food and pretty much had a fit because there was just chips and dip. When were we going to order pizza or whatever? Not this time, unless he was going to order. He ended up stomping off and when we got together again, he didn't show.

I don't know what to suggest since K works with your husband, but I'd start mentioning that there's donation of $10 and see how long he keeps showing up. Let everyone else in on the plan so that he doesn't think that he's the only one being hit up for money.

I like the idea of the $10 donation thing except call it an entry fee or gaming fee, something like that. Tell everyone in advance that it is due 1 week before each session and that it covers food and drink. If you dont have the cover in on time, you dont get to play that week. I do love the troll bait and trap tester thing too, priceless!

[Geek King]

I like the idea of the $10 donation thing except call it an entry fee or gaming fee, something like that.

I wouldn't call it a gaming fee. That looks like you're charging to run the game, and long-time gamers can recount certain stories of companies going after small-time GMs for such things. Just call it a food fund and be done with it.


In our groups, except for one, everybody just brings their own food. If you bring something to share, you do so because you want to. No one is obligated to share anything, but free goodies are never groused about. The one exception is one group has a fellow who feeds us every other week because he is learning to cook things other than Bachelor Chow. All he asks us is that we let him know attendance issues well before gaming night so he can make shopping adjustments. No one argues.

[Red_Dazes]

I think since your hubby talked to him, let him have another shot. IF his behavior still does not improve, you should sit down with all the other members of the group that have shown up, talk it out, and then confront him (as kindly as possible) about it as a group. So he knows it isn't just you and your hubby who are annoyed, it is EVERYONE.

Also making passive aggressive comments is always fun "Man K! You sure do eat alot of the food!" "Wow! You must have really been hungry!" "We are gonna have _____ next week, (in expensive snack food) goes really well with that!" "Glad you could make it, we are X far into the game, have a seat and we'll see when we can get you in."

Or maybe you should just assign him something to bring. every time you have a Game night.

[MaggieTheCat]

Or maybe you should just assign him something to bring. every time you have a Game night.

That's what my husband suggested, too. I will try that, and setting a start time for our game, this weekend and see how it goes.

[Depot Denizen]

I play my D&D games on mIRC. Fits my work schedule a lot better, and it's generally more description/rp heavy. That and we don't have to worry about food. ;-)

[CaroPhoenix]

Man, we must have had a really good gaming group. 4 guy players, 1 girl player (me), and one DM (hubs). We either all ordered food as soon as people got there or I'd make dinner. (Spaghetti one time, Porcupines another time, home made chicken nuggets and sides the next). Sometimes the guys would pay for our food (we were the ones hosting them, so they only thought it fair).

We never asked them to give us money, or contribute to food when I cooked. They'd bring over a couple of 12 packs of soda for everyone to enjoy. They'd even bring their own snacks and offer them around the table.

As a matter of fact, I don't think I've ever been in a group that had this much of a muck-up with just one player. And believe you me, I used to game with my husband's old gaming group (the all-male-dominated one where they would "allow" a girl to game, but with the stipulation they'd play the character for them while the girl just sat there and looked "pretty"). However, even those guys were hardly (if ever) late, and and they never stiffed anyone money/food/whatever.

[Ashaela]

I DM for a small group - me & my husband, two mutual friends, my brother, and *his* best friend. Our games usually start about 5:30 in the evening and run until 11 or so, and I kinda lucked out in that everyone is happy to contribute. Sometimes I'll step up and let them know that I'll be cooking dinner for everyone, but usually they'll all call and ask what they should bring - Oreos and Cheetos seem to be traditional. :-)

As far as the dude who shows up late - sometimes you just have to exercise your Mallet of Divine Intervention. We have one guy who makes it only infrequently because his work schedule is erratic, so by general consensus we determined that his character was out in his blacksmith's shop, and every so often you would hear coming from the shed a tink...tink...tink..."Dammit!" This past weekend, the game was supposed to revolve around a quest to make him not purple (long story), and he didn't tell me until the day before, which gave me only 24 hours to come up with a completely new story and map. So I decreed in revenge that his character had come down with a bad case of the meemies, which meant that the sounds from the blacksmith's shop were tink...tink...tink..."ACHOO! Dammit!"

I don't think there's much wrong with heaping a little abuse like that as long as it doesn't really affect the game (taking away skill points, etc.) and as long as it's not just vindictive. When the guy shows up late, you could tell him that his character fell in a river and has been shivering in the back room of a tavern ever since....

[Kogarashi]

I'll throw my two cents in here for doing the food fund or at least talking to him about it, and starting without him (and working him in as necessary when he finally arrives).

For lack of a good group out here that my Hubby and I really mesh with, we do all of our gaming with our old college group, which is now spread across five states (and, oddly enough, the girls outnumber the guys). We use Skype and have a set start time when we all log on, with the general agreement that actual gaming start after about half an hour of chitchat. Our group quite likes this setup, since it works well for the two couples that have children, and since it means we still get to game together even though we'ere thousands of miles and two time zones apart. Now if only someone would invent a holographic conference table so we can see each other....

Since we have five regular players and one DM (DM rotates based on who has a campaign they want to run), we'll periodically play with one person absent or coming late, but reschedule if we've got two or more unable to make it. Whenever someone's coming late (thankfully we're always warned in advance), we find a way to work them in, even if it's only "Hey, they were in the background the whole time!" When they can't make it, we find some excuse for their character to be absent. With one D&D game I ran, I had a few sessions where our death-obsessed druid (don't ask) wasn't able to make the game, so since she was a hypochondriac, she spent the session in the inn/camp/whatever complaining of various imaginary diseases. My favorite was when she spent the session complaining loudly of being in a coma. When my husband had to miss a session, his character spent the session turned into stone at the entrance to a dungeon as part of a god's test of the party (he was the tank).

Good luck with your problem gamer!

[Mystic]

Any update? How'd this weekend go with the leech?

[MaggieTheCat]

Well, we didn't play D&D this weekend. One guy told us a couple days ago that he wasn't going to make it, but everyone else said they should be here. Then at 12:25 we got a call from another guy saying he couldn't make it. I don't like playing while being down 2 characters so we ended up just sitting around chatting and having lunch. K did show up around 12:35 or so, a record for him, and he brought a few sodas and a bag of cheetos to pass.

[Kogarashi]

K did show up around 12:35 or so, a record for him, and he brought a few sodas and a bag of cheetos to pass.

This shows promise.

[Amina516]

K did show up around 12:35 or so, a record for him, and he brought a few sodas and a bag of cheetos to pass.

Say whhhhhhaaaat?

Maybe the Grinch's heart DID grow three sizes that day...

Hope he continues. Sharing is Caring... Lol

[MaggieTheCat]

Yeah, I was happy. I hope he does continue to show up relatively on time when we actually play. It will make games a lot better if we have everyone here for more than just a couple of hours. I probably could have ran the rpg today but I had a headache that was threatening to turn migraine so I was taking it easy.

[MaggieTheCat]

I was so tempted to call off the whole game today, I was so pissed.

I emailed the group and told them that I would be making lunch, as per usual, and that we would start the game at 1:00, so if they wanted lunch, they should come before then.

K showed up first, at 1:05. J showed up at about 1:10 and T, the guy who has to leave early to go to a study group, showed up around 1:25.

I put the food away at 1:00 and refused to get it back out. J looked around the kitchen when he got here and asked if he was too late for lunch? My husband and I told him yes, he was, that we had already eaten and put the food away (J had called at 11:40 to confirm that we were still playing, and we told him then that the game was starting at 1:00 so he should come between noon-1 if he wanted lunch.)

I'm really getting tired of this. I think I'll just stop making food all together for a while.

[Kogarashi]

Sounds like a plan. Hopefully it'll teach them proper appreciation for the favor you've been doing.

At the very least, they should've called you to let you know they were running late.