Too "Nice"

[Megg]

It might be fun to go to a place that makes their employees do that every time and buy only a box of tampons. Or Preparation H or something.

Or a cucumber and a box of condoms.

What that "gentleman" did to you was assault, and I would have informed him of that as soon as he touched me. Just to help him out, of course, and prevent him going to jail if he did it to someone less tolerant than myself. Yeah, that's why!

[Anakah]

I don't know if this applys but he was in uniform. A corrections uniform (I guess like for youths who get into juvie or something) and he kept commenting on the cashier about how she was new and he was glad she was nice and not rude cuz he doesn't want to deal with that after work. He was just so LOUD and he made it seem like he was so awesome for pointing out all these things.

But yes, I should have said or done something. He already made tons of unwanted attention towards me and I was worried that he'd get even louder and more obnioxious. I'm in a small town where I will see this guy again... But next time I will definately keep my distance and try to let him know that it was NOT okay if he tries that stuff again.

[Seshat]

You are perfectly entitled to make a scene, too. This might be hard for you. But you can.

One good way to make a scene of something like this is to lift your hands, putting them between you and your attacker (he IS attacking you - verbally and socially), in a 'go away' position.
Then raise your voice, not yelling, and say firmly "I asked you to stop!"

You are now announcing to everyone around you that you are (a) the defender, and (b) started by asking nicely.


Now - yes, if you do something like this, the guy is probably going to treat you differently in future. And probably NOT nicely. But be honest with yourself - he's not treating you nicely now!

It's like teaching a bully to stop bullying you. He's not used to you defending yourself, so he's going to try to 'train' you back into letting yourself be bullied. You have to learn to be untrainable.

[Cookie]

It might be fun to go to a place that makes their employees do that every time and buy only a box of tampons. Or Preparation H or something.

I actually did something like that totally unintentionally. Some how or another, I came into contact with ringworm several weeks back. For those who are not familiar, it's not a worm, but the same fungus as athlete's foot, or, as I found out, jock itch. So, I have a breakout and we scoot down to the drugstore to pick up some cream for it. They ALL say "Jock Itch Cream". Every. Last. Stinking. One. I'm mortified and tell my husband I'm getting anything else embarrassing we need and getting it over with. Our purchase was a tube of jock itch cream and a bottle of lube. The cashier was so nice and talkative an friendly until she got to us. Dead silence. My husband tries to make conversation and it falls flat. It's really hilarious in hindsight. Should've said something to make it obvious that the cream was for me, if I wasn't so dadgum embarrassed.

[Pagan]

One good way to make a scene of something like this is to lift your hands, putting them between you and your attacker (he IS attacking you - verbally and socially), in a 'go away' position.
Then raise your voice, not yelling, and say firmly "I asked you to stop!"

If you can get the right attitude and aren't feeling especially nice, you don't have to say a word. The old talk-to-the-hand move works brilliantly with the pissed-off-go-the-hell-away look.

And for some reason, this keeps reminding me of "Blah, Blah, Blah".

[BeeMused]

I don't know if this applys but he was in uniform. A corrections uniform (I guess like for youths who get into juvie or something)

I guess the guy is used to getting away with invading the personal space of other people and watching/commenting everything they do. It's high time for him to learn to leave this inappropriate behaviour at the juvie center or where ever he's working.

If you're not up to confronting people directly, simply fake they hurt you by saying "OUCH!!!!"
And practicing a Death Stare(tm) and "This is none of your business!" Yes, you can do that, get a friend and start roleplaying those situations.

[TelephoneAngel]

It might be fun to go to a place that makes their employees do that every time and buy only a box of tampons. Or Preparation H or something.

My doctor has this habit of commenting on everything you say, trying to be sympathic, bit weird,

eg

me - i have a bad stomache ache
doctor - oh dear we had better sort that out or you wont feel like eating,

etc

one time i was saying i had bleeding which went on for 26 days on and off, and was worried about it
doctor replied "What a bloody nuisance!"

me

[AccountingDrone]

I actually did something like that totally unintentionally. Some how or another, I came into contact with ringworm several weeks back. For those who are not familiar, it's not a worm, but the same fungus as athlete's foot, or, as I found out, jock itch. So, I have a breakout and we scoot down to the drugstore to pick up some cream for it. They ALL say "Jock Itch Cream". Every. Last. Stinking. One. I'm mortified and tell my husband I'm getting anything else embarrassing we need and getting it over with. Our purchase was a tube of jock itch cream and a bottle of lube. The cashier was so nice and talkative an friendly until she got to us. Dead silence. My husband tries to make conversation and it falls flat. It's really hilarious in hindsight. Should've said something to make it obvious that the cream was for me, if I wasn't so dadgum embarrassed.

I have a scrip for nystatin for ringworm. I have no idea how I got it, but the stuff works amazingly fast. [first fungal infestation ever =( as a diabetic I am amazed I haven't gotten one previously, we tend to be prone to them from what I am told]

[Cookie]

Accounting Drone, that's interesting. I'm hypoglycemic. Not the same thing, I know, but very prone to diabetes. I wonder if I might have some of the same tendencies. Thanks for the info. If I find it keeps coming back, I will look into that! The OTC stuff is working really well, though. It's almost gone. It's funny to wander around the apartment saying "Where's my jock itch cream?!" Cracks my husband up.

[Soulstealer]

My doctor has this habit of commenting on everything you say, trying to be sympathic, bit weird,

On the other hand at least you know he's paying attention to what you're saying. I've had doctors in the past brush off my complaints, gods forbid they spend an extra few minutes in the appointment I paid to get health services.

[AccountingDrone]

Accounting Drone, that's interesting. I'm hypoglycemic. Not the same thing, I know, but very prone to diabetes. I wonder if I might have some of the same tendencies. Thanks for the info. If I find it keeps coming back, I will look into that! The OTC stuff is working really well, though. It's almost gone. It's funny to wander around the apartment saying "Where's my jock itch cream?!" Cracks my husband up.

i am just glad to have avoided athletes feets and crotch rot - i have been heavily into antibiotics off and on all my life - prone to pneumonia and strep throat. I have a friend who lost her baby because she got some systemic fungus and apparently the meds for it are very toxic

[RecoveringKinkoid]

When we were kids, my cousins and my sister and I got ringworm all the time. I think we were getting it because we were playing in the sand. And we had farm cats.

You know...

[Lace Neil Singer]

My immediate response would not be a well thought out snark; more of an instinctive, "Get the fuck away from me!" due to the fact that my bubble is sacred and I hate being touched. Even people who I'm friends with have to ensure that they don't sneak up on me.

[Andara Bledin]

One tip: Good posture. Stand up straight and people will be less likely to treat you as fragile or as a potential victim.

I agree. Women in particular get victimized because they are conditioned to be a "good girl", to "be nice", to "not make waves." They are conditioned from birth to be like this.

You have to fight that conditioning. Being "nice" is overrated.

Remember, you can be "nice" and still be "strong" without a conflict.

There are a lot of people I've left flabbergasted when I get my back up over something because they'd never seen me when I had a need or desire to back myself up.

But yes, I should have said or done something. He already made tons of unwanted attention towards me and I was worried that he'd get even louder and more obnioxious. I'm in a small town where I will see this guy again... But next time I will definately keep my distance and try to let him know that it was NOT okay if he tries that stuff again.

Also, don't feel bad because you didn't make a scene. Hindsight is 20/20, after all. It's much more difficult to do what you think you should while it's actually happening.

For those who are not familiar, it's not a worm, but the same fungus as athlete's foot, or, as I found out, jock itch. So, I have a breakout and we scoot down to the drugstore to pick up some cream for it. They ALL say "Jock Itch Cream". Every. Last. Stinking. One.

Cider vinegar. Kills it fast, is cheap, and you probably already have some. But be warned, it stings like a bitch when you dab it on.

I used to live in a place that had a patch of dirt that was a ringworm contagion point. Rather unusual, but my brother and I would break out a few times a year. A bit of vinegar dabbed on with a cotton ball until it stops stinging, a bandaid over the affected area, and within a couple of days, there would be no sign that it was ever there.

A co-worker's daughter got it from somewhere and she got some expensive prescription cream that did absolutely nothing but cost too much. She tried the vinegar and the daughter was back in school 3 days later.

When we were kids, my cousins and my sister and I got ringworm all the time. I think we were getting it because we were playing in the sand. And we had farm cats.

It was probably in the sand. Not a common way for it to transfer, but it happens.

Also, while cats can get and transfer ringworm, that's really obvious. Our cats have never had ringworm. None of them in my entire life, and we owned a ranch for a while when I was really little, and we had that one house where my brother and I got it all the time, but never the cats.

^-.-^

[Shalom]

I actually did something like that totally unintentionally. Some how or another, I came into contact with ringworm several weeks back. For those who are not familiar, it's not a worm, but the same fungus as athlete's foot, or, as I found out, jock itch. So, I have a breakout and we scoot down to the drugstore to pick up some cream for it. They ALL say "Jock Itch Cream". Every. Last. Stinking. One.

Those are the ones in the green tubes. If you go to the foot care aisle, you'll find the blue ones marked for athlete's foot. The product is exactly the same; they just package it two ways to get twice as much shelf space. (Both of them say that they're for athlete's foot, jock rash and ringworm on the back; I'm surprised that they don't make a third package, maybe orange or something, specifically for ringworm, but I guess it's not as common as the other two.)

Claritin does this also; one bottle for allergy, and a different colored bottle, with the same stuff in it, for hives.