wtf is wrong with you?

[PepperElf]

i treated myself to some chinese takeout today and while i was waiting for my order i saw a man and an elderly woman come in.

they were so close with their arrival i thought they were together at first - so it's not like he couldn't see her. (tho it turned out they weren't together)

he came in and then let the door close, almost on the little old lady... who was having trouble just keeping the door open.


i probably gave him a "wft is wrong with you look" (he didn't look happy at me) and held the door open for her. likewise when she left.


what is wrong with some people. someone is 2 steps behind you and you can't fucking hold the door open for them?

*mentally stabbing him with my chopsticks*

[jjllbb]

I don't know if its that people are oblivious, or if its possible that they just care that little.

Reminds me of when i'm getting shopping carts from the parking lot. I'll have a train of 10, 15 carts and i'm pushing them toward the corral and someone will dart up in front of me and push their cart sideways in front of my train so I can't push them in.

I have to stop, pull their cart out, straighten it and then put it aside until the others are in.

And they don't make eye contact when they do it, but its not like they look guilty in the least. wtf is right.

[mikoyan29]

when I go into work if I see someone coming behind me, I will always hold the door open for them. Do I get the same courtesy? No.

[Brojekk]

I don't know if its that people are oblivious, or if its possible that they just care that little.

Reminds me of when i'm getting shopping carts from the parking lot. I'll have a train of 10, 15 carts and i'm pushing them toward the corral and someone will dart up in front of me and push their cart sideways in front of my train so I can't push them in.

I have to stop, pull their cart out, straighten it and then put it aside until the others are in.

And they don't make eye contact when they do it, but its not like they look guilty in the least. wtf is right.

That happens to me alot. The carriages area just inside the entrance. People leaving the store have only one or two bags...take the bags out...and push the carriage aimlessly towards the carriage area. I'm bringing carriages in and have to stop..tuck the offending carriage in and push my train of carriages in.
How hard is it to walk the extra few steps and tuck your carriage in? I go through this just about every time I bring in a train of carriages...every 5 minutes or so.....at least 30 times a day.

[underemployeed]

Depends on who is behind me and how far they are behind me. Little old lady who moves slow, I guess I can wait because i can barely open door myself. Group of women that 20ft behind me, sure. Young teenagers who 20 ft behind me. Sorry about your luck. If you in no way look like a person\group that I as a male should feel obligated to stop and hold the door where you can enter before me, and your not directly behind me I will keep moving and leave you to your own devices.

I hate seeing how disrespectful and impatient people my age (20s) are to our elders.

[PepperElf]

the little old lady was 2 steps behind him.

i mean i really thought they were together ... until he damn near let the door close on her.

[Sheldonrs]

Just because he was rude to her, didn't help her and didn't speak to her doesn't mean they're not married.

[mariamousie1]

People never hold the door anymore and it's a shame. It's about the easiest courtesy you can do for someone. I do it automatically and once I did it for an old lady with a cane who was walking very slowly, and she thanked me and told me that nobody ever holds doors anymore. Which is terrible considering she's an old lady with a cane! Then again, I once held a door open for a woman and she scolded me and said she could open doors herself. Whatever.

[Magpie]

It's no safer to hold a door as a woman. I've never had a man get upset with me for it, just refuse to go through until I do. It's really disconcerting when it's someone who's clearly older than you.

[CaroPhoenix]

Just because he was rude to her, didn't help her and didn't speak to her doesn't mean they're not married.

Oh! So you have met Mr. Rum.

[siead_lietrathua]

Then again, I once held a door open for a woman and she scolded me and said she could open doors herself. Whatever.

you're nicer than me. i just smile at them, and close the door deliberately then.

[HYHYBT]

It's no safer to hold a door as a woman. I've never had a man get upset with me for it, just refuse to go through until I do. It's really disconcerting when it's someone who's clearly older than you.

Yeah, but a clash of two people each trying to be polite to the other is a lot better than someone being rude to you for daring to be nice.

[Flying Grype]

Okay, there is some simple common sense to follow on the issue of holding a door for a woman, or for anyone.

If she looks like she needs help, hold the door. This could be someone carrying a big load of stuff or a child, or someone using a cane or walker or wheelchair, or using a cart or a dolly. This is common courtesy for anyone, male or female.

If she does not look like she needs help, why are you holding the door? Yes, it used to be a compliment to hold a door for a lady. A lot of women today don't consider it a compliment, so you are not being 'polite' by doing it. If you actually want to be polite, don't do it.

Of course your mileage may vary with local custom and the age of the person -- an older lady may appreciate having the door held for her even if she doesn't need help, while a younger woman may not.

[greek_jester]

Of course your mileage may vary with local custom and the age of the person -- an older lady may appreciate having the door held for her even if she doesn't need help, while a younger woman may not.

I was always taught that if someone was walking right behind me through a door, I should at least pause long enough with my hand on the door so that they could catch it without having the full weight of the door hitting them. Waiting & holding it open is for people who are overburdened with bags/old/infirm in some way (very old, wounded, etc)/pregnant.

[Midorikawa]

Waiting & holding it open is for people who are overburdened with bags/old/infirm in some way (very old, wounded, etc)/pregnant.

If that. I went to California to spend time with my (then) girlfriend (now wife :-D). She had to attend an evening class, and I figured I'd tag along, as all she had to do was turn in a paper and leave. On the way out, there was some girl walking in, with an armful of books. As a Texan, I was always taught to hold the door open for anyone of the opposite sex.

Apparently that southern hospitality gets you funny looks in California, as she gave me the "what planet are you from?!" look, turned, and went the other way, quickly.