wtf is wrong with you?

[Kaylyn]

For me, it really depends on how the door is being held open. If the person stands more or less behind the door, leaving me plenty of room, I thank them for the courtesy and continue through the doorway. If they basically prop the door open with their bodies, I refuse to go through until they move out of the way, explaining I have severe personal space issues if we start to have a "politeness war." Trouble is, it always seems to be a person of a different race that wants to stand in the doorway, forcing me to squeeze past, and I always feel like they're judging me as a racist because I don't want to have to brush past them. I don't like brushing past anyone, regardless of race; just makes me cringe and could potentially trigger a panic attack.

[Geek King]

If she does not look like she needs help, why are you holding the door? Yes, it used to be a compliment to hold a door for a lady. A lot of women today don't consider it a compliment, so you are not being 'polite' by doing it. If you actually want to be polite, don't do it.

I hold the door because I am a gentleman, not because I give a damn who it is following me. If they read something else into it, that's their hang up.

[Andara Bledin]

I don't know if its that people are oblivious, or if its possible that they just care that little.

In some cases, it's because they're malicious.

One of my co-irkers will hurry to go through doors far enough ahead of people that he can let the door close behind him without any possibility that someone might ask him to hold it. Yeah, everybody pretty much hates him.

Then again, I once held a door open for a woman and she scolded me and said she could open doors herself. Whatever.

That's when you reply, "Well that's just great! It's a shame you can't accept a common courtesy as easily," and get on with your life.

It's no safer to hold a door as a woman. I've never had a man get upset with me for it, just refuse to go through until I do. It's really disconcerting when it's someone who's clearly older than you.

I can wait forever, at times. I've had people try to wait me out, and I just put on a serene smile and idle. Most people are far too impatient to out-wait me, since I just spin stories in my head while I wait.

If she does not look like she needs help, why are you holding the door? Yes, it used to be a compliment to hold a door for a lady. A lot of women today don't consider it a compliment, so you are not being 'polite' by doing it. If you actually want to be polite, don't do it.

If you're holding the door because it's a nice thing to do for anyone, cool. If you're doing it because it's "chivalrous," then you might want to just expand your reasoning a bit.

Regardless, it's not acceptable for anyone to respond to a courtesy with rudeness. At that point, the recipient is just sinking to whatever level they think the giver started at.

Also, a funny way to look at it is that you're being sexist against men.
Why do you hate men?!?

Apparently that southern hospitality gets you funny looks in California, as she gave me the "what planet are you from?!" look, turned, and went the other way, quickly.

Actually, if it was after dark and there weren't a lot of people around, it might not have been the door-holding so much as the stranger being there when she was in no position to possibly defend herself.

^-.-^

[Sapphire Silk]

I don't get women who make a big deal of a man showing the courtesy of holding a door for them. I don't get it at all.

Sure, this is the 21st century, and those old world manners are going by the wayside. I don't expect a man to hold a door open for me, and think nothing of it if he doesn't.

Still, I find plenty of true gentlemen of all ages who smile and hold the door for me, whether my arms are full or not.

I always smile, nod my head, and say, "Thank you, sir."

Simple courtesies should always be acknowledged with a pleasantry and genuine thanks.