Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I'M 73 YEARS OLD B*TCH!

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • I'M 73 YEARS OLD B*TCH!

    This was just...odd. Went to the Clark gas station to pick up some goodies and cigs. As I stroll in, an ol lady comes up behind me, so I gladly hold the door open. She's the typical grandmotherly type, polite with the soft, slightly shakey voice. Or so it seems.
    Get up to the counter with her in front of me. She buys a few things and wants a pack of cigarettes. Clerk asks for her ID.
    "WHAT? ARE YOU F*CKING BLIND? I'M 73 YEARS OLD B*TCH! I'VE NEVER HAD TO USE MY ID! GIVE ME MY GODDAMN CIGARETTES!"
    The nice, soft voice has been replaced with what I can only describe as a demonic possesion gone horribly wrong voice. Dear Lord, I stepped back from sheer astonishment. this woman was TINY and here she was acting like the Hulk when the woman IDed her. I can kind of see it from the old woman's point of view, she is very clearly well over the age of 18, but I feel no sympathy for her because 1) She's beIng a total and complete bitch about it and 2) I know the clerk, know that when the law to check ID for anyone (whether 15 or 80) was inacted, she slipped once and got crushed with a hefty fine, even though said person was over the age of 30. So now, because of that, she HAS to check EVERYONE'S ID or else she could be fined again or even put in jail. Clerk tries explaining this old woman just keeps on ranting right out the door.
    Clerk just shakes her head. "I cannot believe that a woman her age just did that."
    "I can't believe a woman her age is still smoking!" I joke.
    Clerk laughs and I pay. Seriuosly woman? WTF!
    Just because they serve you, doesn't mean they like you. And just because they smile and act polite doesn't mean they aren't planning to destroy you.

    "I put the laughter in slaughter."

  • #2
    Quoth Tithera View Post
    "I cannot believe that a woman her age just did that."
    "I can't believe a woman her age is still smoking!" I joke.
    Clerk laughs and I pay. Seriuosly woman?
    What's her secret? I just went to the funeral yesterday of a 59 year old woman that died from a smoking related illness.

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth Tithera View Post
      Clerk just shakes her head. "I cannot believe that a woman her age just did that."
      73 is only her physical age, not her mental age.
      It's floating wicker propelled by fire!

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth Aut View Post
        What's her secret? I just went to the funeral yesterday of a 59 year old woman that died from a smoking related illness.
        Her secret is that she's not genetically pre-disposed to getting smoking-related illnesses. Much like my mother and aunt, who will likely each be smoking until the day she dies, which is probably going to be sometime in their 80's or so.

        However, unlike that cranky old harridan, my mother and aunt will never be spotted bitching at some clerk for asking for ID.

        ^-.-^
        Last edited by Dips; 04-19-2010, 02:05 PM. Reason: removed fratching material
        Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

        Comment


        • #5
          That sounds like my maternal granny.

          Comment


          • #6
            My grandmother lived to be 81, smoked 2 packs of menthol and one of those flat bottles of vodka per day (a pint?). It was freaking amazing.

            It seems that the older you get, the louder and more obnoxious you get.
            Sucky Customers- Have the ability to convert non-drinkers into raging alcoholics in one phone call or less.

            Comment


            • #7
              I have a feeling, here soon, instead of Girls Gone Wild, we'll be seeing Grannies Gone Wild. *shivers* baaahhhh!
              Just because they serve you, doesn't mean they like you. And just because they smile and act polite doesn't mean they aren't planning to destroy you.

              "I put the laughter in slaughter."

              Comment


              • #8
                Never, ever believe the innocent looking old ladies. They are usually the worst.

                My downstairs neighbor looks like the sweet, soft and round grandma type that wears cute grandma sweaters and would bake cookies for kids and patch the holes in your pants.

                Nope. She's the most evil bitch I know of. I think she stuffs kids in her oven, too.
                You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

                Comment


                • #9
                  Oooh, I hated working the registers whenever the store said, "Oh, our neighbors got hit by a sting. Card EVERYONE." Because you know what? It was never the 30-something ladies who threw a fit during those weeks. Nooo, it was the just-barely-legal teenagers (cigs) and college students (booze) and the wrinkly old men who blew their tops like Mt. Vesuvius. I've had them scream at me, throw their merchandise back on the belt (never at me, thank goodness), and stomp out of the store like toddlers.

                  All right, so I'll slightly sympathize with the older folks. Sure, it should be obvious you're old enough. But I don't want to be fined, fired, or arrested, so cough up the ID or no cigs/booze for you. The younger ones, though? The ones just barely old enough to buy their age-restricted merchandise? You should know this already and bring that ID with you everywhere. No, I'm not going to believe you when you say you're "old enough." You look like my 16-year-old sister. Hand over the ID already.


                  Quoth phantasy View Post
                  My grandmother lived to be 81, smoked 2 packs of menthol and one of those flat bottles of vodka per day (a pint?). It was freaking amazing.
                  Ok, now I have the very odd mental image of someone smoking a bottle of vodka.


                  ...and the itch to draw a picture of it. Dangit!
                  "Enough expository banter. It's time we fight like men. And ladies. And ladies who dress like men. For Gilgamesh...IT'S MORPHING TIME!"
                  - Gilgamesh, Final Fantasy V

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Really people? take it as a compliment. Even if you're clearly over the required age to purchase age restricted products, take the clerk asking for ID as you don't look a day over 17.

                    Had to do that with one woman a couple years ago, she must have been in her 50s, threw a fit when I asked for ID. BUT I managed to get a smirk out of her by phrasing it as she didn't look a day over 17 to me, so I had to double check.
                    Me to a friend: I know I'm crazy, you know I'm crazy, the zombies at the end of the world will know I'm crazy. Thus not eating my brain for fear of ingesting the crazy. It's my survival plan.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth shankyknitter View Post
                      Really people? take it as a compliment. Even if you're clearly over the required age to purchase age restricted products, take the clerk asking for ID as you don't look a day over 17.
                      Not a compliment until you're into your fifties... (and even then, I'm fairly sure that most people would rather look like they've at least hit 20 :P)

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth Aut View Post
                        What's her secret? I just went to the funeral yesterday of a 59 year old woman that died from a smoking related illness.
                        I got one name for all y'all - George Burns.

                        Quoth Magpie View Post
                        Not a compliment until you're into your fifties... (and even then, I'm fairly sure that most people would rather look like they've at least hit 20 :P)
                        Tell me about it. I'm over twice the legal age, just got carded this past Saturday, and didn't really feel complimented. Especially after just having a conversation with some former co-workers that weren't old enough to remember seeing the first space shuttle launch.... >.<
                        It's floating wicker propelled by fire!

                        Comment

                        Working...
                        X