Evidently, I will never be free...

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Of idiots asking me when I plan to have another kid.

I will be forty seven in a couple months.

I had hoped that at some point in my life, stupid people would stop trying to discuss what's going on in my uterus with me. In fact, that day will be a happy day, one I look forward to. Probably VAINLY look forward to.

Forty Fucking Seven.

In fact, in fucking FACT, brothers and sisters of the congregation, I am having a damn HOT FLASH even as I type this. No shit. It has fucking started.

They wanna know when I'm gonna have another kid. I'm standing there drenched in sweat and they ask me this.

[Cookie]

Oh. No. I'm 27 and I've been married for 9 months and I'm so sick of the "when are you having kids?" question. I thought maybe, just maybe, there would be a time people would quit asking that. Knowing how dumb people are, I don't know why I allowed myself this hope. Now I know how wrong I was.

BTW, I haven't had that problem from any of my FB friends. A month before I got married, I put a note up saying that the first person to ask when we were having kids gets booted off my friend list. Worked like a charm.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I'm not sure I am exaggerating when I say that they started asking that as I was showering off the blood from childbirth.

First it was "How come you aren't married?"

Then it was "how come you don't have a kid?" and then you think Oh, thank you I have a kid now, maybe everyone will STFU, but no. No, I am afraid not.

I imagine I will be the white haired old lady staggering around my house talking to myself, my boobs down around my knees and no teeth, and some asshead will be asking me when I plan to have another kid.

People always tell me "oh, they are just looking for something to say." Really? Because I can think of a million or so ways to start up a little small talk that doesn't start off asking for my damn medical records and personal business.

Maybe I should say something like "Oh, hey, when was the last time you had your prostate checked? Are you gonna do that soon? Hey when was your last pap smear, how did that go?"

I'm just thinking how bad do you have to step in it before you end up asking a freaking pre-menopausal broad, who is a bad tempered harridan on a GOOD day, a question like that.

[Amina516]

LMAO..RK. Thanks for the laugh.

I always tell them I had hubbys testicles removed and that theyre now hanging on my wall....that seems to confuse them enough to stop asking.

[Jangles the Moon Monkey]

My son nearly died at birth and was in special care for a while. Despite people knowing this they couldn't seem to comprehend that we were terrified that he might still not make it and insisted on asking when we were having another as it's such a magical time when they're newborns. We're now still getting asked, despite having just had a miscarriage. *considers becoming a hermit*

They won't be asking when you're having another in 20 years though, it'll be when you going to be a granny?

[iradney]

I'd be so tempted to reply:

"oh yeah, thanks for reminding me!" then call your hubby over and begin the most gratuitous, over the top, PDA you can think of. Then, when they're sufficiently grossed out, ask them "Why so grossed out? I mean, you're the one asking about my sex life!"

[LingualMonkey]

The questions asked of guys are different, but we do get them.

Mrs. Monkey and I have been married for going on 19 years. Our oldest child is 11. Yes, that gap was intentional. We waited.

For seven years we got, "(a)Why don't you have kids yet?" or "(b)Is there something wrong with one of you?"

Then we had a daughter. For five years, we got, "(c)When are you going to give her a sibling?" I, specifically, got, "(d)Are you disappointed you had a girl?" When the time between kids grew, we got, "(e)What are you waiting for?"

Then we had kid #2 (she's 7), another daughter. I got, "(f)You must be really disappointed with another girl." and "(g)So when are you going to try for a son?" and "(h)Don't you worry about carrying on the family name?"

I had my cables cut to prevent more podlings that same year. I got, and still get, "(i)Now you'll never have a son! Are you okay with that?"

Here are my answers for all of these questions:
(a) We're waiting.
(b) No. (Actually, my wife's answer for this was perfect. Asked by my sister(!) this question, she replied, "No, there isn't. But if there were, wouldn't this be awkward?" My wife is awesome.)
(c) When we're ready.
(d) I'm pleased with human, thanks.
(e) We're waiting for you to shut up.
(f) You must be an idiot.
(g) When you learn to mind your own business.
(h) My family name isn't that great, so I guess not.
(i) I'm more okay with that than having you in my personal space.

People can't believe that others make different choices than they do. And this, friends and neighbors, is why people suck.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

"No, there isn't. But if there were, wouldn't this be awkward?" is brilliant.

I always wished I could cry on cue and blurt "Because there is something wrong with me!" and fake a near breakdown.

What kind of people think these sorts of questions are okay?

[draftermatt]

"No, there isn't. But if there were, wouldn't this be awkward?" is brilliant.

I always wished I could cry on cue and blurt "Because there is something wrong with me!" and fake a near breakdown.

What kind of people think these sorts of questions are okay?

My wife and I have been married for almost 4 years, basically from the day we got back from the honeymoon we've been asked when we're going to have a kid. Worst was from her co-workers and my mother.

My mother has "given up on us" ever having kids (I told her if she wanted a baby that bad go make one herself).

Her co-workers won't let go however. We wanted to wait till after she graduated college, they got on her, she told them we were waiting till we got back from Florida, they now get on her and I (when they see me). Coming up to me "what's wrong with you? Get to work man!"

Thing is, we've been trying for months, and at her last Dr's appt he told her to make an appt with her OBGYN about it. So she and I are both worried that something could be wrong. I've gotten to the point where I tell her to tell them that we've been trying, something could be wrong, and do they feel good about themselves now?

[poofy_puff]

Try answering with "Because I don't want any kids. EVER."

...and see how much fun that can be. Double your money refunded if not 100% satisfied.

[morgana]

My most common reply was a *very* frosty, "Why is that any of your business?" I mean, freeze their eyebrows off, frosty. Usually elicited this face:

And no, RK, they don't quit. My mother asked occasionally right up until she started showing the Alzheimers' symptoms.

My siblings, however, got the message early.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

People say this crap to my friend K (from my last job and who I still hang out with). SHE IS NOT MARRIED. She does not even have a boyfriend.

Un fricking believable.

(or better yet, assume without knowing that she already has a kid, which I suppose if I continue down that road it will end up in Fratching Central. Let's just say it's innappropriate and leave it at that.)

[Magpie]

Maybe I should start carrying around information pamphlets on my hormonal problems... that'll make it awkard. (FTR I want kids, we'd be trying right now if I didn't need more X-ray because of my foot, but I'm still not seeing evidence that I'm actually fertile).

[blas]

I have been asked that nonstop (well, back then it was marriage moreso than babies) since I was in my late teens, by my idiot backwards old school relatives.

Apparenty, it's unheard of that a girl have a career or go to college and have her ducks in a row before she gets involved and gets married and has kids!

Life may not always go the way you want it (I am living proof that mistakes happen!), but for crying out loud, I am doing the best I can, and I don't appreciate being chastized for not wanting to reproduce. I'm 23 years old, I barely have my shit together and still act like a 16 year old, what makes you think I can handle a kid of my own?

[Teskeria]

Try telling them 'We're not trying because we're worried it would have a personality like yours.'

Mean yes. Fun though