Jewelry Snob Insults My Engagement Ring

[Cookie]

Gah. I just remembered this one. I've been married almost a year now, but this is from when we were engaged. My sweet husband (then boyfriend) took me around to different stores to look at rings. I knew he was going to propose at some time, I just didn't know when and he wanted to know what kind of ring I liked. I don't like big rocks, plus I'm afraid of knocking them out. I wanted something pretty and functional, so I settled on white gold with small, channel-set diamonds in a row. They weren't straight across, the line was just a tad wavy. Anyway, I liked it and still do.

After he proposed and the wedding was getting closer, my fiancé and I went shopping for wedding bands. He got a really cool titanium ring. I just wanted a plain, small white gold band to slide up against my engagement ring. We ended up getting our rings from Kay jewelers because they were amazing, had better warranties/service plans and were about $20 cheaper per ring. However, we went to Zales first. We barely looked at rings for him after we looked for my ring after how rude this woman was. We really should have just walked out. However, I told her what I wanted in my wedding ring, and she kept showing me rings with channel set diamonds like what I had on. I told her repeatedly, no, I just want a plain white gold band to go with my engagement ring.

Rinse and repeat.

FINALLY she looked at my hand where I had been trying repeatedly to show her the engagement ring which would explain why I didn't want those rings as they were nearly identical to what I had on. As she looked, her upper lip curled up and she gave my ring the ugly look of undisguised disgust as she blurted out, "THAT'S your engagement ring?!?!"

This is where I should have flipped her the bird and left, but I followed in a mute rage as she finally rolled her eyes and pointed to the type of ring I was looking for. I don't think we even tried any on. We left the store pretty soon after that. Just because MY engagement ring that I wanted isn't what that utter BITCH would have wanted doesn't give her the right to diss my ring! There is no way in HELL I would buy the ring from her even if they did have the perfect ring at the best price.

We bought our rings from the wonderful people at Kay, then went home where I wrote a very irate email to Zales' corporate. They didn't even have the decency to respond.

[Gruesome]

Well that pretty well sucks. I think people are using wedding/engagement rings as a status symbol nowadays and I find it annoying. I know I have some biases and I'm sure I judge people on appearances more than I should, but I damn sure keep it to myself! How rude.

My own wife went a little overboard on her rings, to my mind. I bought her a very high quality half carat rock in the original engagement ring and then worked in a few questions to make sure I had the right thing before I gave it to her. Turns out she was fairly adamant about having a full carat stone because she wanted something impressive. So I took it back and dropped another couple thousand to get the bigger stone, but at lower quality. It's a pretty stone but I still lament the quality of it. I think it's an I or a J in color. Anyway, she helped pay for the big one so it's not all out of my pocket, but I felt like that was a bit shallow and materialistic. Good thing she is cute.

[Midorikawa]

wow...just...wow. Nothing wrong with a smaller ring. Wife has smaller rings because she and I both are very outdoorsy, and a huge diamond that will get caught on climbing harnesses, ropes, or rocks would be bad. Her rings have a very classic look to them, while still being sturdy enough to put up with everything we enjoy doing for fun.

I got a Tungsten carbide wedding band 1) because it was in my price range, 2) because if something falls on my hand, the ring won't collapse and remove my finger, it'll just shatter if anything at all, and 3) because I love the way a simple tungsten ring looks.

That lady was way out of line, and shouldn't be working there. There's a reason not all rings are the same: because people aren't all the same. Working as a salesperson, she should know that, and shouldn't have been so rude. I'm sorry you had to put up with that, and that corporate didn't even reply back.

[Magpie]

I confess that I'd probably hate your ring. I can't stand white gold (and that was before I found out that it defeats the purpose of gold, as it would probably give me an allergic reaction. And I don't like flashy stuff like what you have. However, if I saw it on you I probably wouldn't notice either of those, because when something looks good on someone, I tend not to notice stuff I don't like about it. Besides, even if I did, I have the ability to keep my mouth shut.

My engagement ring? With all due respect to my husband, as a piece of jewellery, the best I can say about it is that it is not in any way my style. Yes, he's right that it goes with my skin tone. And he gets credit for the insanely huge (probably a full carat or close to it) centre stone isn't a diamond. And it's a wonderful art piece. But I had to wear it for almost two full years (we had to wait for graduation to get married). However, had anyone said anything nasty about it, they'd have gotten an earful. (And you really don't want to get someone who knows materials started on a pink sapphire).

[Cat]

That Zales lady was a......hissssssssssssssssssssss growl (cat swears)

I had a similar experience....I went to a jewelry store to look for Alexandrite (my birthstone ) First I went to, the staff galred at me (jeans and a t-shirt, wore I). I stood right in front of the alexandrite, and inquired if I could see some. "We don't carry alexandrite," the woman snapped. I tapped the case where it was, and walked out.

Went to Kays, and they allowed me to try on what I wanted, and they had lovely pieces. Out of my range, but I will go back to them when I'm reay to buy.

As for an engagment ring? At first I though I'd want alexandrite...but now....I honetly want granite as the stone...I have seen some pretty pieces.

Your ring sounds lovely

[Green_Fairy]

I wanted something pretty and functional, so I settled on white gold with small, channel-set diamonds in a row. They weren't straight across, the line was just a tad wavy.

i have a very similar engagement ring. and i get crap for it all the time. when The Boy picked it out (all on his own! i was impressed), he knew i didn't want a big rock that would catch on yarn and other things.
and boy howdy, i get crap for it all the time.
"oh that's not an engagement ring, that's a wedding/anniversary/right hand ring!"
"it's not very big, is it..."
"where's the main stone?"
and my personal favorite:
"...that's it?"

once i explain to them that i work with my hands a lot, they usually just kinda nod...still not really understanding. i don't get it. since when do people have to have a rock that weighs as much as their hand in order to show that they're engaged?

[Shalom]

I confess that I'd probably hate your ring. I can't stand white gold (and that was before I found out that it defeats the purpose of gold, as it would probably give me an allergic reaction.

I guess it depends on the individual alloy. My mom can't wear any metal jewelry but gold or platinum - even supposedly hypoallergenic metals like sterling silver gives her a rash, and she has to coat her glasses frames with clear nail polish - and she's OK with white gold; her own wedding band is white gold, and if it was ever rhodium-plated that's long since worn off. Perhaps hers didn't contain any nickel, which is what she's allergic to.

My wife's engagement ring was my grandmother's originally; she passed away the week we got engaged, and had left me her ring for that purpose: she'd seen a picture of me with my fiancee, but sadly never had a chance to meet her in person. It's a nice-sized stone, but it's got some noticeable flaws, plus it's an older style of cut that allegedly doesn't sparkle as much as the modern ones (appraiser said it was cut around 1920, which means that my grandfather got it used, as they were married around 1938). Just last week, I had a jeweler put new tips on the prongs, as they were worn quite thin and I was paranoid about the diamond falling out. Wasn't until I got home that I found that he'd forgotten to put back the sizing gadget (name?) that sits inside the ring so it doesn't fall off, because my wife's ring size is smaller than my grandmother's. Now I have to go back there tomorrow to have them put it back in. grr.

[Elspeth]

I think your ring sounds lovely.

I think that woman would hate my ring. Hubby and I had been together for years by the time we got married. I think I got the ring about a year before hand. Heck I don't think he even really proposed (fits with how we started dating - friend told us you two should go out, that will be 19 years June 1st)

I flat out told him I didn't want a diamond or any stone. I was going to school full time in Seattle and I am a klutz and something would happen to it. Plus I found it a huge waste of money for a silly diamond. That was Vegas money. So I found a band of celtic knot work that I loved.

For the wedding bands we got the nicest and cheapest we could find. And then had to have his expanded another 2 sizes, we think he wears a 16. That ring of course didn't last too long. Now he wears a ring from a old tape drive he had to destory. It fits him. He is my geek. It looks really cool and it fits. I am trying to get him to find me one

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I like to make really awkward scenes when someone acts like this. Like "Yes, it is my engagment ring. Why is that a problem for you?" Which I have said, although not to a saleman (I said it to a guy friend who was unhappy I was marrying. What he said was tacky, it was along the same lines as what the saleman said to the op)

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

Traditionally, a woman will go with her fiance to pick out the ring after accepting the proposal, so she will get something she likes (also the gentleman would go before to the jewelry store and have them set aside things in his price range for her to look at).

Personally, I don't like jewelry, and hate rings. Hate having things on my fingers. They fluctuate a lot and it's either too tight or too loose. Wouldn't mind maybe a nice engagement necklace, though.

[trailerparkmedic]

How horrible!

When we were looking at engagement rings, we actually got ignored at one place (Spence's Diamonds). Then my fiance ended up going to a real jeweler to get my ring custom done. He had an ugly ring of my grandmother's that was gold and had some little diamonds and a half carat one. We figured we'd just use the big diamond but the jeweler used the little diamonds and the gold to make the ring much cheaper. I love my ring--the diamond is tension set so it doesn't stick out at all. The little diamonds are channel set on the wedding band. We were lucky to have the old ring but the jeweler was really sweet and very respectful of our budget and my insistence on a stone that didn't stick up.

My fiance went back to the jeweler to pick up the wedding band and was looking at wedding bands for him and she's going to make him a wedding band for half the price the mall jewelery stores want. I think it's going to be stainless steel with yellow gold stripes or something like that.

[Exaspera]

Seeing as a diamond didn't really work for my first marriage, Mr. Exaspera and I designed Medieval type rings for the two of us with our birthstones for mine, an emerald-cut sapphire flanked by amethysts. No Tiffany setting, as I do lots of stuff that would break something.

[Magpie]

Traditionally...

Wait a sec here... I thought engagement rings were a recent thing, and they didn't even have the pedigree of the conspicuous consumption wedding dress.

[Merriweather]

My own wife went a little overboard on her rings, to my mind. I bought her a very high quality half carat rock in the original engagement ring and then worked in a few questions to make sure I had the right thing before I gave it to her. Turns out she was fairly adamant about having a full carat stone because she wanted something impressive. So I took it back and dropped another couple thousand to get the bigger stone, but at lower quality. It's a pretty stone but I still lament the quality of it. I think it's an I or a J in color. Anyway, she helped pay for the big one so it's not all out of my pocket, but I felt like that was a bit shallow and materialistic. Good thing she is cute.

Yep, Size ISN'T everything I have a gorgeous one-third caret in the best quality and cut - it sparkles, it shines, I get comments all the time, and it's perfect for my small hands, anything larger would look and feel awkward. It's exactly what I wanted.

I had a co-worker who had lost her engagement ring, and was finally able to get a new one. She was dismissive of my "tiny" ring, she was getting a full carat, and nothing else would do. But her budget wasn't that great, and she ended up paying about what mine had cost for hers, at a discount broker. She got her full carat, alright, but it was not just cloudy, it looked like green pop bottle glass, only less transparent. And it had a straight cut across, no facets. No sparkle, no shine, I never knew a diamond could be ugly But it was big, and a full carat.

My daughter takes flack because she has no diamond, she chose her engagement ring, it's a blue saphire, and antique - beautiful, but so many people ask when she'll get a "real" engagement ring.

Of course, the diamond solitaire thing has been pushed like crazy by jewelers, it realy doesn't go back all that far as being the choice for engagement rings, only (and I could be wrong) to the first half of the 20th century, I think.

[Andara Bledin]

I guess it depends on the individual alloy. My mom can't wear any metal jewelry but gold or platinum - even supposedly hypoallergenic metals like sterling silver gives her a rash ... Perhaps hers didn't contain any nickel, which is what she's allergic to.

Does she have notable problems with copper, too? That's what they usually alloy with silver to make it less malleable.

I also wonder if there's something in the polishes they use prior to sale. Most of the rings I own are sterling, and nearly every one has had some reaction with my skin for the first month of wear, and then nothing else ever again.

Wait a sec here... I thought engagement rings were a recent thing, and they didn't even have the pedigree of the conspicuous consumption wedding dress.

The whole "marking territory" thing has been going on pretty much forever. It changes over time, but there are lot of examples throughout history of women being given rings to signify betrothal. In some cases, it would be an indication of the man's ability to support the woman after marriage.

My engagement ring was actually quite nice. Only 1/4 carat (so glad it wasn't bigger), with a nice pattern of diagonal lines to either side. The matching wedding band had the same pattern. I'm divorced, now, and keep the rings in a keepsake box.

I want my next wedding ring to have Opals. And be something other than gold. Even white gold looks awful on me; my skin chemistry makes white gold go incredibly dull, for some reason.

^-.-^