Kids in my Stall and I Want to Harm You

[Shalom]

Wonder what would happen if you went into dirty-old-man mode? (OK, dirty-old-lady, whatever.) Put on your best Beavis & Butt-Head voice, "Huh huh huh, ya wanna see my stuff...? Here, get a good look..." See how fast that kid gets yanked out of there. I'm only afraid I'd get arrested if I tried that.

(I did once have a chipmunk wander under the door of a stall I was in, while vacationing in the wilds of Colorado. I looked down at the critter, which was staring up at me, and said in my best Brooklynese "Ey, ya want somthin'?" and it turned around and left. Cute little guy, but I didn't need it watching me do my business...)

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Oh god, awkward!

If a little kid tried grabbing my ankle while I was on the pot (and since I'm a guy, that means....y'know), that would probably be Kick the Baby time, strictly out of reflex.

How's that for a Kodak moment, mommy?

[iradney]

Let's calm it down a little with the whole Baby Booting talk, ok? It might be a reflexive movement, but it can still result in sometimes severe bodily harm, and that is not cool.

[Micer]

Agreed, don't condone the kicking on purpose, I usually find if you do that 'stern' (or as my hubby calls mine 'Angry auntie/teacher tone') tone that the little one needs to go back to mommy, just as a 'No lil guy/gal, go back to your mom.' even that slightly louder 'Aaaay- no.' (you know that tone, the 'hey now!') it generally gets the mom's attention pretty darn quick to call back in little prewchus from the mean lady, cause otherwise it's gonna be loud public embarrassment time for dimwit dame.

Not fair for the lil kid to suffer, I mean hell, they're related to that genius of parenting and have to live with them.

[Sliceanddice]

Restraint? :\ The inherent I Shall Not Hit A Child gene? ....wait, do I have one of those? Yes, I must have one.

im known to kick and such when startled...
that poor child if it was me.

[RetailWorkhorse]

'hey now!'

...I'm an all-star?

im known to kick and such when startled...
that poor child if it was me.

That's true. There's a lot of people that freak out when startled.

Uhm....yelp?

[Anakah]

I would've made barf noises and told the mom she better move junior before I blow chunks all over! That is unacceptable and gross. But honestly I don't know what I would do in that situation cuz its never happened yet. And hopefuly never will.

The last guy was a moron. I'm glad you said no. Good for you, I like that you hold your ground.

[iradney]

If it were to happen to me, I can guarantee at least one thing - I will scream. And I can be LOUD. Put it this way, in school musicals, I didn't need a microphone at all.

[sarasquirrel]

i would just use my foot to gently push the kid back out of the stall. slow enough so they can pick up ALL the germs, and pick up all those nasty puddles of wet-ness. is she gonna walk around the store with her little precious if they smell like piss and now are filthy? i think not

[XCashier]

Just because you can't hit the child doesn't mean you can't slap some sense into the parents...

Problem is, they're long gone by the time you've finished your business.

I just don't get people like that. Letting their kid crawl around on a filthy bathroom floor, into stalls with total strangers, where the door is closed and you can't see what is going on. Seriously, WTF?! Have you no sense of protecting your child?!

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Send the kid back to mom with a used feminine hygene product. If you don't have a used one, put a little lipstick or something on it.

Bet she'll keep the kid on a freaking choke chain after that.

[morgana]

Kink, if I weren't straight . . . I you.

My reflex, unfortunately, is to stomp and scream. Bloody murder. And yes, it's happened. Missed the kid's head by half an inch, and oh, mommy was pissed.

So was the (male) uniformed sergeant who barged in with drawn gun.

Did I mention this was in a secured section of a military base? And that I was a civilian employee, working a Top Secret position? And that Mommy and Son were dependents who Daddy wasn't supposed to have let in there in the first place?

Sarge wasn't mad at the kid (or me) once he got the story. He knew as well as I did that a three-year-old gets its behavior from what Mommy and Daddy permit. But I don't think Mommy had a very good day . . .

[Merriweather]

lol not to thread jack, but i know someone that has a sister/cousin

My ex husband had an uncle who was also his cousin......

(I did once have a chipmunk wander under the door of a stall I was in, while vacationing in the wilds of Colorado. I looked down at the critter, which was staring up at me, and said in my best Brooklynese "Ey, ya want somthin'?" and it turned around and left. Cute little guy, but I didn't need it watching me do my business...)

My family loved to tell the story of the time I was about 9 or 10 years old, was in the bathroom, and saw a mouse sitting there. What made them laugh the most was that in all my hysterics, I just kept saying "it was sitting there watching me".

[dalesys]

My ex husband had an uncle who was also his cousin......

My children's little sisters are their cousins... kind of

(My step-cousin was my ex's 2nd/3rd husband's 2nd wife. Ex was was his 6th/7th wife)

[Kaylyn]

My children's little sisters are their cousins... kind of

(My step-cousin was my ex's 2nd/3rd husband's 2nd wife. Ex was was his 6th/7th wife)

I'm my own aunt!

I was adopted by my grandparents when I was a baby, so that's not as creepy as it sounds. But I grew up knowing my mother as my sister, and it's a little unnerving for people to hear me talk about my sister giving birth to me when it comes up...