Tweet
Don't have much for you, just some funny shorts from the past several weeks.
1.) Did you hear that?
Bout , oh lord a week or two ago, I was on morning shift. Since when I'm on days I do training, and nights it's Quality Control stuff, I've got this nice little office. It's also where I do training. Got a nice sized table in it, and a white board; as well as a handful of cheap chairs from Wal-Mart. Well, one morning about nine or so, I'm standing in front of the white board going through the usual procedure for the swing shift system. One of the trainees, this rather large woman, is constantly trying to rock back in her chair. Now while the office chairs we have will do that, it's not advised. I can attest to this. More times than I want to count the chair has sprung forward and just dumped my happy butt out into the floor. Being mister Nice trainer, I say something to this lady to that effect, and notice that she's ignoring me. Waving her hand at me, she just goes back to chomping her gum and as I looked closer, talking on a cell phone. Making a mental note to tell HR bout her when the class finishes (I'm in no power to fire) I continue on. Bout a minute or three later, there's this soft "pop" sound. I remember someone at the table saying "Did you hear that?" which was promptly followed by cell phone lady falling out of her chair onto the floor with a resounding and muffled SPLAT! The pop, it turned out, was the whole spring assembly in her chair giving way from her repeated attempts (compounded with her size I'd wager) to rock the chair back. Being a fat guy, even I know that's something you don't do with a cheap <censored> wal-mart desk chair. It was everything I could do not to laugh, though after picking herself up she muttered something bout not needing the job and tromped out. The class went better afterward.
2.) You sir, are a moron.
Around the third day of each training class, I'll lump all the trainees together and take them out on the floor. This is where they each get to take a turn trying to operate the machines, and get a better feel for what the company does. About halfway through explaining how this one machine packs the meat (we make potted food) and then steams it inside to kill off any bacteria, this one wiry guy in the class just faints dead away. Well, once he comes back around and the EMt's are loading him onto a stretcher, he looks at me with horror and says "I...I didn't know you used REAL meat!" (As opposed to what?) Found out later from some guys that know him that this guy was a staunch PETA supporter, and a Vegan. I still have yet to figure out why he wanted a job at a meat packing plant...What, did he think we packed TOFU?
3.) Door there...
Self sighting this.
While leading a group around showing them the plant, I remember warning the new trainees that some of the doors would open suddenly; and to be prepared for this happening. Especially in the cold room where we stored the meat. As SOON as I finished saying this, I turned around and walked smack into one of the doors, giving myself a bloody nose and causing the FDA guy to nearly have a heart attack. (Note: If you are cold, oddly your nose will seem to bleed MORE than if you're warm) I had to chuckle though, when one trainee asked with a straight face "Do as you say, not as you do?" I instantly had a man crush on him.
1.) Did you hear that?
Bout , oh lord a week or two ago, I was on morning shift. Since when I'm on days I do training, and nights it's Quality Control stuff, I've got this nice little office. It's also where I do training. Got a nice sized table in it, and a white board; as well as a handful of cheap chairs from Wal-Mart. Well, one morning about nine or so, I'm standing in front of the white board going through the usual procedure for the swing shift system. One of the trainees, this rather large woman, is constantly trying to rock back in her chair. Now while the office chairs we have will do that, it's not advised. I can attest to this. More times than I want to count the chair has sprung forward and just dumped my happy butt out into the floor. Being mister Nice trainer, I say something to this lady to that effect, and notice that she's ignoring me. Waving her hand at me, she just goes back to chomping her gum and as I looked closer, talking on a cell phone. Making a mental note to tell HR bout her when the class finishes (I'm in no power to fire) I continue on. Bout a minute or three later, there's this soft "pop" sound. I remember someone at the table saying "Did you hear that?" which was promptly followed by cell phone lady falling out of her chair onto the floor with a resounding and muffled SPLAT! The pop, it turned out, was the whole spring assembly in her chair giving way from her repeated attempts (compounded with her size I'd wager) to rock the chair back. Being a fat guy, even I know that's something you don't do with a cheap <censored> wal-mart desk chair. It was everything I could do not to laugh, though after picking herself up she muttered something bout not needing the job and tromped out. The class went better afterward.
2.) You sir, are a moron.
Around the third day of each training class, I'll lump all the trainees together and take them out on the floor. This is where they each get to take a turn trying to operate the machines, and get a better feel for what the company does. About halfway through explaining how this one machine packs the meat (we make potted food) and then steams it inside to kill off any bacteria, this one wiry guy in the class just faints dead away. Well, once he comes back around and the EMt's are loading him onto a stretcher, he looks at me with horror and says "I...I didn't know you used REAL meat!" (As opposed to what?) Found out later from some guys that know him that this guy was a staunch PETA supporter, and a Vegan. I still have yet to figure out why he wanted a job at a meat packing plant...What, did he think we packed TOFU?
3.) Door there...
Self sighting this.
While leading a group around showing them the plant, I remember warning the new trainees that some of the doors would open suddenly; and to be prepared for this happening. Especially in the cold room where we stored the meat. As SOON as I finished saying this, I turned around and walked smack into one of the doors, giving myself a bloody nose and causing the FDA guy to nearly have a heart attack. (Note: If you are cold, oddly your nose will seem to bleed MORE than if you're warm) I had to chuckle though, when one trainee asked with a straight face "Do as you say, not as you do?" I instantly had a man crush on him.
Comment