Read much?

[repsac]

This is one that I was thinking about earlier. I wasn't totally sure where to put it though. There's a bit of backstory on it.

Remember the guy I called the suckiest of customers? Well, he passed away recently. You'd think the trouble would have ended then...I was wrong. So very wrong.


He used to get these checks from social security, and when he died, his last check came in not long after it. We debated for days how to return this, until my father noticed something curious. This box on it reading "Check here if deceased" Why that makes it easier. So we checked the box and I went to the post office to return it. This happened there: OL: Older lady working the front counter. R: Me...rather self explanatory that one.

R: *heads to check the various boxes looking for a "return to sender one". Seeing out of town taped up (they had a problem the week before) I opt to wait in line, check in hand.
OL: NEXT! (She gives me a funny look.)
R: Yeah, hi. I need to return this to the original sender.
OL: *staring* Oh really? * She begins looking at the check strangely. As though it's stolen or counterfeit*
R: Yes please.
OL: *moves to write on it.* "And what's the reason for it being returned?"
R: It's uh, written there on the front?
OL: *turning petty* I know that. But I need to know the reason it's being returned!
R: *trying to be nice* He's not with us anymore.
OL: THat's not a good reason. I need a good reason!
R: Lady, please. You're causing a scene. It's on the front of the envelope.
OL: I'll tell you who's causing a scene. YOu are. You're not telling me a blank thing I need to know. How do I know this check isn't stolen? Or maybe you're trying to return it to keep mister bawling (his name was bowling) from getting his money? HMMMM?
R: *In as loud a voice as I could muster, drawing the attention of the postmaster (a friend) and several customers I state* LADY. HE'S DEAD!
OL: *Blanches, and finally looks at the check* Oh...
R: *Turning to walk out* I said it's on the front. You'd think reading would be a major skill in a post office.


Durn, but that felt good.

[Mr. Rager!]

It felt good to yell at someone?

I've never felt good for yelling at someone. I feel bad after it's all said and done because I know there's a better way to things.

How about instead of yelling at her just say, "he's dead."

I guess I'm all for the less confrontational approach. And I'm generally soft-spoken anyway...

The lady was rude though, no justification for that.

[iradney]

i dunno, if you've told someone something they need to know twice, in a polite, civil way, sometimes you need to get a bit loud to break through the Wall Of Stupidity that is obviously surrounding them.

[Barefootgirl]

Why didn't you just say "Because he's dead" instead of resorting to euphemism and then patronising the woman, when she asked why you were returning the cheque? Sorry to be blunt, but it almost seems as if you were setting the scene up so you could look cleverer than her (which admittedly would not be difficult).

[iradney]

in his defence, he did point out to her twice that the reason for it being returned was on the envelope. "This box on it reading "Check here if deceased" "

If someone doesn't notice something after it's pointed out twice, then chances are the only way it'll get through to them is when you're loud and a little obnoxious.

[CaroPhoenix]

I think Reps did the right thing. I know that I would have yelled the exact same thing at the person.

I would have used the "euphemism" of "he's not with us any longer" too because really, that's showing respect to the person. And she would have had to read the front of the envelope to get the gentleman's name to mention it. She should have noticed the "Check here if deceased" box.

I think she just wanted to be crochety.

[Rahmota]

Well since mother died recently I've been dealing with a lot of paperwork and I must admit I have not had to yell at anyone, but then again I have also not used the euphemism passed away or anything like it once. She died. I am sorry and sad that she did but its the truth and the fact of things. People may look at me a little strangely when I just flatly put it like that but they understand when I explain it was a long illness and we got used to the concept. Its not that we hurt any less its more that we accept it more and have moved on from denial which is what using those euphemisms are not respect in my opinion.

But back to the OP issue. Sounds like the whole situation kinda went wonky from the start. The lady was being overly suspicious and reps wasnt as forceful from the start (note forceful not aggresively sucky) to state the reason. Even if it is written in giant flourescent green blinking neon letters 20 feet high some people just wont see it.

The phrase hes not with us could mean he died, moved away, got abducted by aliens just about anything. Better to have just answered her question the first time with he died.

[Mr. Rager!]

I still thinking saying "he's dead" right at the beginning would've prevented this situation.

That's like asking someone "how old are you?" and they reply with "I'll be 23 next week."

Just answer the question.

[CaroPhoenix]

Yes, but if he had said, "He's dead", in a nice, normal tone, she would have accused him of lying or something just as stupid. When someone's being difficult, you could be the epitome of nice and they'll still be idiots.

[powerboy]

Yeah, I would have almost done the same thing, if I was in your shoes. She didn't have to act like you were up to no good. She should have paid more attention to the front of the envelope and to yourself

[Bella_Vixen]

First of all, I am not making light of anyone's loss of a loved one.

But...this reminds me of the episode of Roseanne where Roseanne's father dies. Roseanne and Jackie are calling relatives to let them know.

Jackie calls Auntie Barbara, who is a tad hard of hearing.

J: I'm calling to let you know that Dad's no longer with us.

AB: (you can't hear what she says but you know she can't understand Jackie)

J: Dad's passed on.

AB: lather

J: Dad's dead.

AB: rinse

J: DEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!

AB: repeat

J: Dad's fine! He sends his love!

[Becks]

Damn you, woman!!!!!!!!!!! :shaking fist: That part was too funny.

[Sofar]

Yelling at people is fun, and I don't get to do it that often myself.

[PuckishOne]

Remind me never to go to that particular post office. I've had to explain things to postal workers on occasion, but can't ever recall being shouted/sworn at or accused of doing anything illegal (even when I didn't know what I was doing, added postage incorrectly or what have you). Maybe they need to change their postmark to "Suckville, USA."

[flybye023]

I'm with Repsac on this one. Why is "he isn't with us" not a good reason to return mail? Since when does one have to go through a third degree to return something to the sender? I worked with mail for 6 years and the only way a package could be refused is if it had been opened. As long as the letter wasn't opened, the lady had no reason to refuse it and no reason to ask questions about it.