Name change fun

[fma_fanatic]

I got married 3 years ago, but I'm just now getting around to getting the official name change done.

There were no problems at the SSA office, the DMV or the credit union. However, when it came time to change my name on one of my credit cards, I'm pretty sure it was miscommunication.

The Discover rep took my call, did the usual verification and then asked for the new last name. I told her. She asked me to spell it, so I did. The next part threw me.

Rep: And how did you want that spelled?
Me: Uh..I just spelled it for you.
Rep:....but how did you want it spelled?
Me: Uh..

I think we went in circles until she finally got it. The receptionist was listening and was trying to keep from laughing. I knew if I looked over at her I'd start laughing too.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I never changed my name.

Now that I have a kid getting ready to start school soon, I have been thinking maybe I ought to for convenience sake.

[ExRetailDrone]

Funnily enough, changing my name on my credit card was the hardest part for me, too. I got a rep who had an accent which made it difficult for me to understand her (accent + poor reception = confused ERD). I had to spell my name numerous times. I thought it had gone fine, but didn't realize what exactly had happened for a month or more. My statements looked fine, my credit card itself looked fine, but apparently my name in their system is FirstLast Last. I noticed this on one of my receipts that prints the entire name the CC company must have on file. I still haven't tried to get it fixed because I just do not want to deal with it. No one's given me problems about it, they just laugh

[C. Cecil Ivanish]

We are having issues at the moment.
I am an Italian citizen; my wife is a German citizen; we are UK residents, and we decided (for a series of reasons) to get married in the UK.
Now, what the laws of the three countries involved say about the couple's last names is not compatible.

ITALY: both keep their last name; the woman is allowed to use her husband's last name next to hers if she so desires, but the official documents will still only report her maiden name - next to "married to Xxx Xxx" in case she so desires. So Signor Rossi and Signora Bianchi will remain Signor Rossi and Signora Bianchi, although Signora Bianchi can say she is Signora Bianchi Rossi.

GERMANY: both can keep their last name, or they can pick one (either the husband's or the wife's) as their only last name. Or one (and only one, but it doesn't matter who) can "double-barrel" his or her last name. So Herr Schwarz and Frau Weiss will either remain Herr Schwarz and Frau Weiss, or become Herr and Frau Schwarz, or become Herr and Frau Weiss, or he can be Herr Schwarz-Weiss with her remaining Frau Weiss, or he remains Herr Schwarz with her being Frau Weiss-Schwarz.

UK: the married couple need to have the same last name. It can be his or hers, or both. So Mr. Smith and Ms. White will be Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Mr. and Mrs. White or Mr. and Mrs. Smith-White (or White-Smith). Exceptions are made... yes, for foreign citizens.

Our hope was to double-barrel out last names. Both of us. According to UK law.
But the Italian law I am still subject to strictly forbids me to change my last name.

Finally we ended up with me keeping my last name and my wife double-barreling, but it took a while to find out that we actually could. And she is going through Hell about her documents, now.

[Victoria J]

UK: the married couple need to have the same last name. It can be his or hers, or both. So Mr. Smith and Ms. White will be Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Mr. and Mrs. White or Mr. and Mrs. Smith-White (or White-Smith). Exceptions are made... yes, for foreign citizens.

That's not quite right. The UK is relatively relaxed about changing names just by choosing a name and using it.

When you get married if no one wants to change their name that's fine. If the woman wants to change her name the marriage certificate will be accepted as all the necessary evidence for this. It is the traditional custom for a woman to take the husband's last name but not compulsory.

Double barrelled names or a name change from the husband would require a formal name change seperate from the marriage.

Anyone can change their name for any reason but will need evidence of this beyond the marriage certificate to get official recognision. The easiest evidence is a "statutory declaration" ; a legally witnessed statement renouncing the old name and taking the new. However you can also announce it in a newspaper or get a statement from someone stating that you have been using the new name consistently (doctors, priests, etc. would be the kind of people to ask). The last 2 are perfectly legal but may be hard to get accepted by the passport office etc. This could be used by men or women after marriage.

The only thing you can't do is use inconsistent names for formal purposes or change names to commit fraud.

Some banks etc. will accept a marriage certificate to change a woman's name to a double barrelled version, but that isn't really right.

Then there are deed poles but they are never really necessary.

Sorry - it fascinates me how easy it is (except for the hours of form filling to get all the other organisations to update you). I'd rather like to change my name - but I like mine !

Victoria J.

[wagegoth]

I never changed my name.

Now that I have a kid getting ready to start school soon, I have been thinking maybe I ought to for convenience sake.

My kids are 14 and 11 and I haven't changed my name. All the school papers ask for the parents' information separately (sign of the times?).

The only time I've had an issue is with Comcast. I wanted to add my husband as a party to the account, but their system is so antiquated that it will take two different first names, but only one last name. The CSR put my name and my husband's name together in the surname section, and we've never had a problem.

[Jay 2K Winger]

I knew that other countries had different rules about married names, but I didn't realize it got that... difficult for those kinds of situations, like C. Cecil described.

I remember reading about a couple here in the States who did something else when they got married. They took their surnames, and combined them to make a completely different, third name, and took that as their name.

Who was this, you ask? Jerry Holkins, co-creator of Penny Arcade.

[Magpie]

C. Cecil, does Italy allow you to change your name for reasons unrelated to marriage? That might be a way out. The reason I ask:

In Canada the woman can, without needing to go through a legal name change, assume her husband's name. I just had to show my marriage certificate, and all my official documents are now as Mrs Magpie Jackdaw's_name. (I can also hyphenate, not change, do a double last name, whatever, using the same identification). If, however, we had combined our names to invent a new name, we would have had to undergo a legal name change. Both of us. This can be to whatever we want it to be, but it is a bit more of a pain. (I then would have been required to change everything over within a certain amount of time. Not fun. As it is, my SIN card is still in my maiden name, but it's perfectly legal for me to use whatever name I want.)

[NorthernZel]

ITALY: both keep their last name; the woman is allowed to use her husband's last name next to hers if she so desires, but the official documents will still only report her maiden name - next to "married to Xxx Xxx" in case she so desires. So Signor Rossi and Signora Bianchi will remain Signor Rossi and Signora Bianchi, although Signora Bianchi can say she is Signora Bianchi Rossi.

Oh, so they've changed it now? When my Danish mother was married to my Italian stepfather she HAD to take her husband's last name. She still used her maiden name unofficially, but once she was divorced and we moved back to Denmark she actually needed to get a court ruling in order to get her maiden name back.

In my own case, I happened to marry a man who has a so-called "protected" last name. That means that when I chose to take his last name, I had to document that my husband actually ALLOWED me to do so. That's not a biggie since hubby just signed the form - but when I did so, the parishioner (who handles birth and name registration) suddendly questioned my right to keep my stepfather's last name as my middle name... um, I have had that middle name for over 20 years, why question it NOW?!

[PepperElf]

mom told me that she had some trouble... with her insurance policy.

no one else gave her any trouble. one store changed her name to "mrs HusbandFirst HusbandLast" but that was ok cos it still meant her.

but the insurance company changed her policy to state that "MR HusbandFirst HusbandLast" owned the policy. when she called them to have them change it to either her name or to "MRS" they wouldn't do it at first.

Insurance: Well he's paying for it now!
Mom: But it's MY policy. It will be in my name.

pretty much wash, rinse, repeat until the policy was back in her name.

[Sapphire Silk]

In the US, the wife traditionally takes hubby's last night, but it is legal for wife to double barrel her name, or for hubby to assume wife's last name, or for both to double barrel. It is just a matter of paperwork.

When I was married, I double barreled my name because I wanted to be Mrs. socially, but keep my maiden name professionally.

When I got divorced, I had to add a section to the divorce papers to be approved by the judge allowing me to change back to just my maiden name. Not a big deal since I thought about it ahead of time, but if I hadn't I would have had to go back to court and pay the lawyer another big fat fee (since in the state I lived at the time there are no do it yourself divorces).

Changing my name for Social security, the bank, ad nauseum was tedious but not difficult.

But if I ever remarry, I will keep my maiden name on paper.

[fma_fanatic]

Huh..I never had an issue if I wanted to change my name back to my maiden name after I divorced. All the places I went to had a box to check on why I wanted a name change. One said marriage, the other said divorce, so I'm assuming that unless the husband demands it (and the ex demanded it, but I told him it'd cost him - I hated him that much that I was going to suck every cent I could out of him), there's nothing stating that the woman absolutely has to go back to her maiden name.

Not that I would have wanted to anyway, seeing as it was embarassing enough as it was.

Interestingly enough, updating my car insurance seems to be the easiest. Hubby is already on my insurance, and my agent just said "his last name?" Yup. Okay, done.

I still have to wait for my SS card to show up so it can be done at work, but after that, it'll be easy. And I still need to order checks.

[DaDairyDruid]

when FMA and I we dating (a long time ago) I made the joke while we were shopping about how easy she had it since she didn't go back to her maiden name, and the guy behind the counter asked what it was. I told him (its a long german word with the translation to the effect of " the makers of the bell clangers")

The guy behind the counter SHUDDERED and said he understood why she kept the assholes name (a simple four letter word)

[Peppergirl]

When I got divorced, I had to add a section to the divorce papers to be approved by the judge allowing me to change back to just my maiden name.

I did the same thing. A hell of alot cheaper to do it during the divorce (no extra fee) than to decide later and have to pay for it.

My sons were 16 and 18 by the time the divorce was final and said they didn't mind if I went back to my maiden name.

This was in '06 and I've only manage to legally change my SSN to my maiden. Everything else I still use my married. I'm lazy.

[C. Cecil Ivanish]

That's not quite right. The UK is relatively relaxed about changing names just by choosing a name and using it.
When you get married if no one wants to change their name that's fine. If the woman wants to change her name the marriage certificate will be accepted as all the necessary evidence for this. It is the traditional custom for a woman to take the husband's last name but not compulsory.
Double barrelled names or a name change from the husband would require a formal name change seperate from the marriage.

Echt?
Hmm, is it possible that in this case Scotland's laws differ a bit? We were simply given the choice, when we met with the registrar for the first time to agree the subtleties of our wedding ceremony. Until we explained the issue the law of our countries created.

C. Cecil, does Italy allow you to change your name for reasons unrelated to marriage?

Quoting by memory, NO unless the original name is offensive or might create confusion with somebody else.
Now, I have the same first-and-last name of a renowned architect/designer, but I don't think it would be enough. The procedure is by the way really expensive and it involves pretty much a court case... far too messy.

Oh, so they've changed it now? When my Danish mother was married to my Italian stepfather she HAD to take her husband's last name.

Yes, it changed... hmm... after my parents got married (1973) but before my uncle Pietro got married (1979).

In my own case, I happened to marry a man who has a so-called "protected" last name.

...what does it mean? Sorry, I am ignorant about this point.