See, I have this superpower called, "Aura of Sociopathy attract". Which is why every time I go to the movie theatres, the theatres are lit up by texters, someone's changing a baby diaper behind me, Seniors who'd make Walter seem like Pollyanna in comparison congregate around me whenever they're out, or whenever we go to a place with children, 90% chance that the family with the out-of-control-child will sit near us or the kid will scream loud enough to be heard from the nearby house.
So upon hearing a kid who's maybe one or two scream for a minute straight without taking a breath, (Probably with the parents trying to calm them down) I immediately went over to the other side of the restaurant. I just sit down and eat one fry...then a kid of about five comes over, picks up my soda, takes a huuuuuuuge chug...then spits it ALL out all over my food.
The kid's lucky I didn't immediately backfist him across the room and demand that he get his parents to replace it, or I didn't chase him, pick him up, find his parents, then tell him. Because instead, I decided to trick the little bastard.
I said, "Wow, can you take me to your parents and show them this?" and he nodded then excitedly ran over to the play place where about 9 adults are talking on a table. (While I was thinking, "....wow, I can't believe that worked.") I immediately say, "Is he yours?" and two of them walk over. They asked if he was bothering me, and I said, "As a matter of fact, yes, he drank my coke and then spat it out all over my dinner." and pointed to the coke-soaked tray I was holding.
The kid immediately went wide-eyed and said, "BUT HE DID IT HE TOLD ME HE WANTED TO SHOW YOU THIS!!!!" (lol, yeah, if I wanted to get free food by spitting coke on it and saying he spat on it, I'd totally walk up to the managers and tell them - why would I tell you that?) while his mom back-handed him (not enough to hurt him) then started arguing with him whie his dad was looking at me like, "...I see what you did there." and then he cracked out his wallet and said he'd pay to replace it.
But it's not over yet....when I was waiting for it after mom and dad said "Oh my god I'm SOOOO sorry" for the fifth time...I spotted a kid running around behind the counter with several workers in pursuit yelling "STOP!" and then the dad said, "...oh god" And walked back, probably to tell one of the other adults their kid was acting up too. (And before you ask, "...how'd they get behind the counter? o-O Fail McDonald's", it's because there's a door right next to the counter so they can clean up spills more easily. You can easily push it)
Surprised that the parents didn't side with the kid. And surprised that second idiot kid didn't get deep-fried or grilled. :P
So upon hearing a kid who's maybe one or two scream for a minute straight without taking a breath, (Probably with the parents trying to calm them down) I immediately went over to the other side of the restaurant. I just sit down and eat one fry...then a kid of about five comes over, picks up my soda, takes a huuuuuuuge chug...then spits it ALL out all over my food.
The kid's lucky I didn't immediately backfist him across the room and demand that he get his parents to replace it, or I didn't chase him, pick him up, find his parents, then tell him. Because instead, I decided to trick the little bastard.
I said, "Wow, can you take me to your parents and show them this?" and he nodded then excitedly ran over to the play place where about 9 adults are talking on a table. (While I was thinking, "....wow, I can't believe that worked.") I immediately say, "Is he yours?" and two of them walk over. They asked if he was bothering me, and I said, "As a matter of fact, yes, he drank my coke and then spat it out all over my dinner." and pointed to the coke-soaked tray I was holding.
The kid immediately went wide-eyed and said, "BUT HE DID IT HE TOLD ME HE WANTED TO SHOW YOU THIS!!!!" (lol, yeah, if I wanted to get free food by spitting coke on it and saying he spat on it, I'd totally walk up to the managers and tell them - why would I tell you that?) while his mom back-handed him (not enough to hurt him) then started arguing with him whie his dad was looking at me like, "...I see what you did there." and then he cracked out his wallet and said he'd pay to replace it.
But it's not over yet....when I was waiting for it after mom and dad said "Oh my god I'm SOOOO sorry" for the fifth time...I spotted a kid running around behind the counter with several workers in pursuit yelling "STOP!" and then the dad said, "...oh god" And walked back, probably to tell one of the other adults their kid was acting up too. (And before you ask, "...how'd they get behind the counter? o-O Fail McDonald's", it's because there's a door right next to the counter so they can clean up spills more easily. You can easily push it)
Surprised that the parents didn't side with the kid. And surprised that second idiot kid didn't get deep-fried or grilled. :P
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