Ok, this is a funny. And Lupo WASN’T at a grocery store!! *pauses so everyone can gasp and get it out of their system*
No, this happened as I was making my way home from work. I’m sitting at a bus stop, messaging back and forth with KiaKat and xx_wolfie_xx while I wait for my bus. I was mildly cranky, because I was waiting on a 68, and had watched five 2s go by. When my bus finally pulled up it was PACKED. I’m talking standing room only packed, except for this ONE seat next to this bitchy hag who put her purse there. And it wasn't even a big purse. My lunch box is bigger. Seriously! so I stand there, and I stare at her. She glances up, then glances back down. I keep staring. She glances up and I just tilt my head EVER so slightly, and smile and her. She moves her purse.
I sit down and proceed to send KiaKat a message and tell her I’d made it on the bus. As I’m doing this, Batty old Hag (BoH from here on out…), starts craning her neck to stare at the screen of my phone. She’s trying to see what I’m saying to KiaKat. So, me, being me, I decide to give into my evil side. You see, folks, at this point, I was telling Kia all about the woman who wouldn’t move her purse so someone could sit. So, I oh so nonchalantly happen to let my phone tilt just right, so she can see the following messages:
Kia: you made her move her bags?
me: Yep. Stared her down.
Kia: Mwuaha win.
me: And now she's glaring and staring over my shoulder. Say hi, Kia!!
But Kia had customers in the store at the time, so didn’t answer…
Now, realize I’m also messaging back and forth with xx_wolfie_xx, (wolfie for the purpose of this thread, and me being lazy.), and I’m going squee for various reasons. At one point, I essentially say I refuse to be all squealy in front of strangers, and that apparently issued a challenge. So, wolfie and I are bantering back and forth, and BoH is watching the whole time, and she just keeps glaring and glaring and her face is getting more sour by the second. At this point, Kia came back and did what I’d asked her to:
Kia: Hi mean lady!!!
Well, since she was offering a greeting to BoH specifically, I shared. I was being POLITE. She in turn, looks like someone just punched her in the hooha. At that point, I started laughing, and had to clap my hands over my mouth, so I wouldn't cackle on the bus. She huffs and puffs and pushes her way out of the seat (she's by the window, mind you, and I'm in the aisle. of COURSE she doesn't say excuse me or anything...) By now, we're at a transit center, so she stomps up to the driver and starts yabbering at him.
I don't know what she's saying, but she keeps gesturing at me. Everytime she turns to look at me, I smile and wave. So, regardless of what she's telling the driver about how evil and mean I am, I'm the picture of sweetness and kindness and sharing gumdrops and fluffy kitties and rainbows whenever they glance in my direction.
I don't know what he tells her but she gets even more huffy (which I didn't think was possible without causing a stroke!!) and she stomps over and finds another seat, because by this point, lots of people had gotten off at the transit center, more space had opened. We continue on our merry way, and she shoots me the occasional glare to which I always respond with a smile.
I’m sure that people around us were thinking one of us was nuts. I wonder who??
The end!!
P.S. - Kia helped me think of a title. Yay!!
No, this happened as I was making my way home from work. I’m sitting at a bus stop, messaging back and forth with KiaKat and xx_wolfie_xx while I wait for my bus. I was mildly cranky, because I was waiting on a 68, and had watched five 2s go by. When my bus finally pulled up it was PACKED. I’m talking standing room only packed, except for this ONE seat next to this bitchy hag who put her purse there. And it wasn't even a big purse. My lunch box is bigger. Seriously! so I stand there, and I stare at her. She glances up, then glances back down. I keep staring. She glances up and I just tilt my head EVER so slightly, and smile and her. She moves her purse.
I sit down and proceed to send KiaKat a message and tell her I’d made it on the bus. As I’m doing this, Batty old Hag (BoH from here on out…), starts craning her neck to stare at the screen of my phone. She’s trying to see what I’m saying to KiaKat. So, me, being me, I decide to give into my evil side. You see, folks, at this point, I was telling Kia all about the woman who wouldn’t move her purse so someone could sit. So, I oh so nonchalantly happen to let my phone tilt just right, so she can see the following messages:
Kia: you made her move her bags?
me: Yep. Stared her down.
Kia: Mwuaha win.
me: And now she's glaring and staring over my shoulder. Say hi, Kia!!
But Kia had customers in the store at the time, so didn’t answer…
Now, realize I’m also messaging back and forth with xx_wolfie_xx, (wolfie for the purpose of this thread, and me being lazy.), and I’m going squee for various reasons. At one point, I essentially say I refuse to be all squealy in front of strangers, and that apparently issued a challenge. So, wolfie and I are bantering back and forth, and BoH is watching the whole time, and she just keeps glaring and glaring and her face is getting more sour by the second. At this point, Kia came back and did what I’d asked her to:
Kia: Hi mean lady!!!
Well, since she was offering a greeting to BoH specifically, I shared. I was being POLITE. She in turn, looks like someone just punched her in the hooha. At that point, I started laughing, and had to clap my hands over my mouth, so I wouldn't cackle on the bus. She huffs and puffs and pushes her way out of the seat (she's by the window, mind you, and I'm in the aisle. of COURSE she doesn't say excuse me or anything...) By now, we're at a transit center, so she stomps up to the driver and starts yabbering at him.
I don't know what she's saying, but she keeps gesturing at me. Everytime she turns to look at me, I smile and wave. So, regardless of what she's telling the driver about how evil and mean I am, I'm the picture of sweetness and kindness and sharing gumdrops and fluffy kitties and rainbows whenever they glance in my direction.
I don't know what he tells her but she gets even more huffy (which I didn't think was possible without causing a stroke!!) and she stomps over and finds another seat, because by this point, lots of people had gotten off at the transit center, more space had opened. We continue on our merry way, and she shoots me the occasional glare to which I always respond with a smile.
I’m sure that people around us were thinking one of us was nuts. I wonder who??
The end!!
P.S. - Kia helped me think of a title. Yay!!
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