I'll let you decide

[TexasT]

Boyfriend and I went out tonight to a fancy restaurant thanks to a student's gift card. We received sub-par service such as never getting refills, long wait to get serviced, long wait for drinks/appetizer/meal/bill. I think the reason was boyfriend's choice to wear a baseball cap due to being between haircuts, but there is no dress code and others were in more casual clothes than us.

This is what I'll let you decide on:
At the end of the evening, we requested they box our leftovers, as we both had lots. My meal was chicken parmesan, with the pasta served in a separate bowl. He asked if I wanted the pasta, I answered, "Yes, please, thank you." He comes back with the bag (after another long wait) and we left to go to boyfriend's place. A few hours later, I go to get my meal to take it to my home and (as you probably guessed) was surprised to see no pasta.

Should I e-mail? Call? Should I request a serving of pasta? A gift card for half my meal? Contact corporate? Let it go?

I normally wouldn't, if this was the one mistake, but after not being impressed for the evening, I'm thinking of doing something. I'm just afraid they'll point out Boyfriend's casualness in attire.

[chainedbarista]

if there's no dress code posted, then they have nothing to complain about. you, on the other hand, do. sub par service and not sending you home with the food you paid for is unacceptable and further evidence that this fancy restaurant isn't living up to its name (or rep).

you could complain to management about the service and the lack of sending home your food with you; how far you get is another matter. i'm wondering if they're aware of the bad service and don't care or aren't and would actually take action.

if they don't care, then tell everyone you know (and their grandma, their grandma's dog, etc.) that 'x' restaurant has poor service and isn't a good deal for their money. with money being tight, smarter people will avoid this place...and maybe just enough will do so to hurt their business.

not a nice thing to think, but considering you were a customer and were well behaved and polite only to get rebuffed is wrong.

[Sapphire Silk]

You should call and complain. If the restaurant didn't like your BF's standard of dress, they could have asked you guys to leave before you ever came in.

Once you are seated, you are entitled to the same level of excellent service as anyone else.

And in all honesty, I doubt anyone will remember how BF was dressed. The person you talk you will probably not have been there. But if it's a well run place, they will take your concerns seriously.

If the service was that bad, a gift card sounds appropriate.

[MaggieTheCat]

I would definitely let someone know, both about the lack of service during the meal and about the leftovers not being boxed up after the meal. I would probably started with the local manager or owner and go from there. The local management may take care of you. Personally, I don't normally demand things like gift cards, especially at first. Just start by detailing your experience and what happened. I wouldn't even go into your boyfriend's hat or anything about the dress code since the restaurant doesn't seem to have one. Just tell them you went in for dinner, you had poor service, and you didn't even get all the leftovers you requested. If the manager does something to take care of you that you find acceptable (offers you a gift card, or a coupon the next time you come in, or even just says he'll be sure to talk to the server in question about his behavior) then it's all good.

If the local management doesn't offer to do anything, you can start asking. Or you can take it to the next level (corporate) if you can go further up.

Just from your description and some personal experience I've had with jerky servers, it sounds like maybe the server saw that you guys were young and were students (especially if he knew you were paying with a student gift card right from the start) and figured you weren't planning on tipping well or at all, so decided to just ignore you most of the evening. It has, unfortunately, happened before. Some friends of ours went out to dinner once to a fairly fancy restaurant. They were dressed in more than jeans and a t-shirt, but nothing too over fancy (khakis and polo shirt for the guy, slacks and sweater for the girl.) This happened a few years ago, so they were in the 23-25 years old age range. And they got horrible service. Everyone else around them (who were all older couples and groups) were getting great service while they were ignored, and they had to ask multiples times just for a single refill on their drinks or for containers to bring leftovers home. They hadn't done anything to warrant such behavior from the wait staff, so they figured it was because they were the youngest couple in the restaurant.

[Andara Bledin]

You know, I'd be up for a little public humiliation if I noticed that my waitstaff was snubbing me but treating other diners well.

I'd wait till I'd paid and was ready to leave, then let them know, in a louder-than-necessary (but not excessively so) voice that if they assume someone won't tip well so they give them bad service, then they are guaranteeing that they won't be getting a good tip.

But, then, I'm a bit bold at times.

^-.-^

[TexasT]

Just from your description and some personal experience I've had with jerky servers, it sounds like maybe the server saw that you guys were young and were students (especially if he knew you were paying with a student gift card right from the start) and figured you weren't planning on tipping well or at all, so decided to just ignore you most of the evening.

Well, actually, it was a gift card from a student of mine. I'm actually a teacher. I'm not sure how young they thought I was, but they didn't card me when I ordered an alcoholic drink, so I'm assuming they think I'm over 21. I'm 25 and bf's 29.

However, you do have a good point. We definitely are young enough that people might assume a bad tip.

[MaggieTheCat]

Oh, sorry, I mis-read that and thought you had gotten a gift card or some kind of discount for being a student. My bad.

[surreal20]

Seeing as i have worked in a restaurant before, i would suggest this.

First call the restaurant and ask to speak to a manager. Explain exactly how the evening went and what you missed in your to go bag.

Then, normally, to ensure that you come back, the manager will do some sort of compensation for you. As per custom, the management is at the decision on what you would receive as a comp. If you are nice, polite and do not raise your voice, you will more than likely come out with a wonderful compromise.

Also, it is most likely that how your BF was dressed had nothing to do with it. There are a multitude of things that could have caused the bad service. One being the server was just poor at their job, or perhaps there was an issue in the back that was causing them the inability to give proper service. Normally though, in that situation, the management would have come out and explained, or they would have at least stated that something was up and they apologize if they are lacking in their ability.

It seems to me, that if they had at least been upfront and stated they were not able to give nice service because of an issue. You would not have been as upset as you are. You ARE entitled to compensation for the missing pasta and poor service. But all i am trying to say is, it may not completely be because of how your BF chose to dress.