A sign I saw on a door for door to door people

[boringscreenname]

I never hear people knocking on our door because I work night shift, and sleep with a white noise machine on. The few times I've actually answered the door, I just open the front door and leave the screen door closed, let them do their spiel, then tell them I'm not interested and shut the door. Works every time.

We've had Jehovah's Witnesses at our door, a guy looking for work, our neighbors' kids or grandkids, wanted to walk our dog, then another time wanting to know if we had any pop can tabs, and a landscaping company, who keeps giving us price estimates on what it would cost to mow our yard or shovel our driveway.

[dalesys]

(are you noticing a trend with me and missionaries )

Since we're on-line, you want to be an e-missionary?

[mharbourgirl]

We don't get any door-to-door anything anymore. Reason? Probably because my father-in-law will talk 'em to death. You try getting a word in edgewise when an elderly, deaf, talkative and rather forgetful gentleman is telling you stories that connect one to the next without a single pause.

THough I've always admired the method of this guy I used to work with. He was a bit of a dick on a good day, but for some reason his house had 'Convert Me!' painted on it in invisible letters that only proselytizers could see. For a while he was getting two or three A DAY. So he started answering the door butt nekkid with his 7-ft ball python hanging around his neck. The long black hair and evil goatee probably didn't hurt. I guess word got around, because after two months of that the doorbell ringing stopped completely.

[Andara Bledin]

Then again, perhaps I've been lucky - I've never encountered any really pushy or obnoxious ones.

All of the ones that I've had come to my door (JWs only; never had a Mormon, even though they've built a huge church nearby) have been unfailingly polite. I used to have long chats with them, when I was younger.

^-.-^

[Mytical]

All of the ones that I've had come to my door (JWs only; never had a Mormon, even though they've built a huge church nearby) have been unfailingly polite. I used to have long chats with them, when I was younger.

^-.-^

Same here. I've even had long philosophical debates with them. A lot get frustrated and leave, but a few will actually stay . Of course I will discuss and debate with anybody until they get to the "My interpretation is the only possible one." stage..then I politely excuse myself from the discussion.

[Green_Fairy]

i see missionaries walking around all the time, but i honestly can't remember the last time a set knocked on my door. i'm pretty sure door to door sales has been outlawed in idaho, so i don't have to worry about that, either.
the only issues we have here is the kids selling stuff for school fundraisers. the looks they get on their faces when i tell them i'm not interested is almost heart breaking but honestly...i don't need any more magazine subscriptions.

however...when i was living in virginia, i had to tell a sales person "i'm not interested" at east half a dozen times before he left. he even shoved his foot into the door jam when i tried to close it in his face. then on his way back down (we lived on the middle floor of an apartment building), he thought he'd try again. that time, though, The Hubs answered the door. he's not as polite as i am. one stern "go the f*** away or i'm getting my side arm" and the guy left us alone.

[protege]

I don't get many door-to-door types. Of course, it helps that my front porch steps are gone. Seriously, there's a 3-foot drop from my porch to the ground. I came home one night, after a sucky day at work...and when I came up the steps, a huge chunk fell out of the side They were already in poor shape, and since I was in a bad mood...I took the fence maul to them. Smashed the shit out of them, and my neighbor (a contractor) took out the rest with a jackhammer.

But, until they were completely gone, I had a couple of people try to bug me. Never mind that both railings were broken (attached, but very unsafe), and as such, I'd roped off the entire area with caution tape, and piled other junk there to thwart people. All of that didn't stop one tree-hugger from climbing over the pile to pester me I mean seriously? You're risking life and limb to drop off a pamphlet about environmental issues (which have been debunked as bullshit)? Get lost.

[zombiequeen]

Oh, I love door-to-door types!
The neighbor kids I'm polite to, and sometimes I'll help them, but NEVER if I'm home alone or in a slightly bad mood. Just keeps people alive that way.
One time, a witness wanted to come in. I told him that he couldn't, but I'd come outside He was like, "Well, I just wanted to talk to you for a minute. I went out and sat on the porch with him and we chatted about where I worked because he saw I was in my uniform shirt. That was nice. He didn't even leave religious information, although I wouldn't have minded. My pastor collects pamphlets.

Another time I answered the door while getting ready to bathe my lizard, so I had a bikini top, shorts, a towel, bucket, and angry Ryuu. She actually puffed up and hissed at the guy. He was like "Oh this looks like a bad time, I'll just be leaving."

Mum lets them in and offers them a drink of thier choice, then she pulls out her religion books from when my pastor did a class comparing the religions and she lectures them about how they suck until they leave. I kind of feel sorry for them.

Dad offers them soda or beer. Sometimes though he chats with the salesmen, then they go out to his garage (I still don't know how he does it, he's a charmer that's for sure) and he's met some woodworking friends that way.

Hubby tells them he met one halfway down the driveway once. He was in the woods with one of our swords while everyone else was at work and he couldn't sleep, and the guy just stopped in the drive and rolled down the window. Apparently they were also lost, but as soon as they saw the sword they backed up and left both us and gramma alone.

My friend keeps telling me to chase them down the drive with a weapon or like a sex toy or something. I'm tempted to...it would be funny to answer the door wielding a dildo like a lighstaber. (sorry for that...just the mental image is HILARIOUS!)

[wagegoth]

Having been disfellowshipped from the JWs, I do have some information that might help. You can call the local Kingdom Hall (equivalent of a church) and tell them that you do not want any more visits. There is a list (well, there was when I was there) of people you absolutely did not call on. But you can't just tell the people popping up on your doorstep; you have to call the Hall.

The other thing is to tell them you're disfellowshipped. The rank and file are not supposed to talk to you, so only an elder will visit. They don't come around much after you've made it clear you don't want to talk to them.

As for the Mormons, I just tell them thanks, but I'm not interested, have a nice day, and close the door.

[SuperRTL]

When my husbands grandfather was alive, and we were living with them, we'd get the Mormons through fairly regularly. I've had them help me bring groceries in, take out my trash, put up a fence. Never asked them to, I just told them I was busy and had my hands full and they offered. One time, though, they were helping bring the groceries in and hubby's grandfather called out to find out who was there. I took the 2 young men in to meet him (Poppy wasn't able to get out of bed at that point) and didn't think anymore of it.

2 hours later, I'm walking down the hallway and hear voices. I peak in and they're still sitting there, listening to his stories of going whoring in Oklahoma, looking completely desperate. I interrupt and escort the poor things out the front door. Didn't get any for a while after that.

[PepperElf]

my Dad has been known to take off all his clothes before answering the door

i've heard of other unusual ways to chase people off. some of them involving pretending to argue with someone inside the house on the proper way to cut open the animal sacrifice and about getting blood all over the room.

[Treasure]

My dad has stories about the various ways he's gotten people to go away - one time he answered the door w/ a copy of the Necronomacon in his hand - told them I'll listen to you, if you listen to me.... I forget if they stayed, or tucked tail...

Recently we had Mormons i guess stop by the house, and we were busy, had like 8 things going on - I answered the door, and saw what they were, i said No thank you, and closed the door. - may have been a little rude as i didn't let them say hi... but at least i didn't attempt to scar them either... or scare them.

[wagegoth]

My dad has stories about the various ways he's gotten people to go away - one time he answered the door w/ a copy of the Necronomacon in his hand - told them I'll listen to you, if you listen to me.... I forget if they stayed, or tucked tail...

http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi1209403161/

[PepperElf]

of course you know ... why not invite them in to help you film some porn? you can even promise that they don't have to actually have sex and that you'll have a "stunt cock" who'll do that part for them.

it worked in Orgazmo

though i don't know if we get anyone here... i just moved to my bf's apartment. though i suspect there won't be much cos this area looks pretty quiet. and ... i believe this state has castle laws so if someone tries to force their way in, you may be allowed to draw.

my own person concern about people going door-to-door, whether it's for religion or selling something else, is... what if they're really casing the place?

[Ree]

I'm wondering if we can get away from members trying to outdo each other with ways to shock and insult those who come to our doors to share and witness about their religious beliefs.

The OP was really about more than just deterring JW's, Mormons, missionaries, etc.
It also mentioned salespeople, solicitations for donations and surveys.