I Hold the Keys to Talking to the Boss

[Dips]

We get sales calls, you know? I field them. If the person is willing to tell me who they are, who they are with and the reason for the call, I'll run it by the boss in case it is something he been inquiring about or someone with a proposition he's interested in.

For that reason cold calls usually won't get past me. No worries. The caller's doing his job. I'm doing my job. As long as we both understand that, we can both be civil to each other. No harm. No foul. We can both wish each other a nice day and mean it.

But theres this one guy who keeps calling and being an asshole. And keeps getting nowhere as a result. And he keeps changing his name too! But it's the same guy.

At first he tried pretending he knew the boss and the boss would know what it was about. That is sometimes the truth. So I took what little info the guy gave me and asked the boss about it the next time I saw him.

Yeah. He had no clue who this guy was.

Next time he called he was a little madder and a little more insistent and using a different name. I told him that the boss did not recognize his name but if he would leave a detailed message describing what he was calling about and his phone number, I'd be happy to see if it rang a bell with the boss.

No way. It was private. Put him through. NOW!

So I put him through to voice mail. I figured he could make his private pitch and the boss could delete it.

Needless to say the boss found a blank voice mail on this machine. Yeah, right.

This nonsense has continued in various forms over the last few weeks.

He called again today.

As soon as I greeted him he barked the bosses name at me. No please. No hello.

I sweetly asked who was calling and the reason for the call, even though I suspected who it was.

He barked yet another fake name at me. The rest of it went like this. Imagine the guy's voice barking orders at me like a dog:

Me: And the reason for your call, Mr. Asshole? [not the fake name he gave me]

Mr. Asshole: Put me through. He knows me.

Me: He's not here at the moment. May I give him a message?

Mr. Asshole: He's usually there at this time. What's going on!?

[Crock of crap! My boss works from home most of the time and not to any set schedule. So he's pretending he knows the boss better than I do to bluff his way past me? LAME!]

Me: His schedule varies from day to day. I'll be happy to give him a message.

Mr. Asshole: Put me through to Boss.

Me: He's not here. Can I take a message?

Mr. Asshole:...

Me:...

Mr. Asshole:...

Me: Hello?

Mr. Asshole:...

Me: Hello?

Mr. Asshole:...

Me: It appears we've lost our connection. Goodbye. [click]

OK. You know what Mr. Asshole? You've been lying, demanding and bluffing all these weeks but now you've crossed the line. I'm the one you have to get past. I'm the one you have to win over. From the beginning you haven't even tried being charming. At least most of these people have enough sense to pretend to buy me dinner before commencing to try to screw their way around me. But not you.

Trust me fool, I WILL be talking to the boss and he WILL NOT be impressed. If you try this again I'm going to give you a message from both of us. He's not interested in any way, shape or form in doing business with bullies who can't be troubled to be civil to his staff.

Thank you. And have a NICE day.

[Ironclad Alibi]

This calls for a movie quote. Assume your best Jedi voice and tell him: This is not the boss you are looking for.

[Draco]

Honestly, if there was caller ID, I'd be tempted to start calling back.

[Mr Hero]

I never understood this. Shouldn't a sales rep be civil to all those involved to increase their chances at making a sale?

[fma_fanatic]

Oh yeah, we get those a lot. The receptionist has finally understood that it's okay to hang up on pushy cold callers like those. She was very much a pushover her first few months here.

Now she grins when she does that and says "F that!" after she's hung up, usually under her breath. It's very amusing.

[TonyDonuts]

Shouldn't a sales rep be civil to all those involved to increase their chances at making a sale?

"But, but if I talk to her as though she were human, she might start thinking she's as good and worthwhile as ME! And how can I get her to do my, her better's, bidding if she thinks she's people? No, no, best to bull my way past her like the peasant she is."

They act like that because pushing people around gives them a chubby, and the fact that the person they're pushing around is the keeper of the keys doesn't even enter their thinking.

They'll even look a little startled if you point out how asinine .

Fun shutting them down though.

[bainsidhe]

One thing I love about our new phone system is that I can drop people directly into voice mail, no muss no fuss. Calling back to ask for so-and-so's secretary won't do any good. We don't have secretaries and you're calling in on our customer line. Take the voice mail or leave it. (I sound nicer than that of course )

[Spork4pedro]

I never understood this. Shouldn't a sales rep be civil to all those involved to increase their chances at making a sale?

I thought the same thing until I went to work with my sister who cold calls for a living and saw how my SIL was on the phone. I have NEVER seen someone be so blunt and rude to anyone, let alone on the phone selling something! AND SHE WAS THEIR #1 SELLER!?! She got someone to buy 2 out of 3 times!

I have NO idea how this worked. If I had received her call I would have hung up...but apparently it works on a lot of folks.

[Dips]

I talked to the boss when he checked in and we both had a good laugh at the fool's expense. Next time he calls will be fun...for me.

[Mr Hero]

I talked to the boss when he checked in and we both had a good laugh at the fool's expense. Next time he calls will be fun...for me.

And hopefully you'll share that fun with the rest of us.

[UncleImpy]

I was going to suggest that, now that Boss knows the situation, next time, put him through and listen in. Have Boss prepped to let the guy think he's doing well, then cut him off with 'Unfortunate we only deal with human beings, and after hearing myself how much of an asshole you are to my staff, I've concluded you aren't a real human being. We wont be doing business with you." *click*

[DeltaSierra]

PLEASE be sure to share with us the verbal whiplashing when the dork calls again!!!!!

[protege]

We get quite a few callers like that where I work. My boss simply doesn't have the time to deal with them, and since I answer the phone...I don't have to pass them along. Most of the time, I'll get the caller's name, and put them on hold. If he doesn't recognize the name, I can tell them to get lost. Usually, that's enough to get rid of them. Otherwise, if they try to call back, I can be as rude as I want. 12 years of spotting scammers and assholes, I can get away with it

[Mystic]

You should find a random male to play the character of your boss, find out where they are calling from, call their manager and inform them about someone who keeps calling and lying about who they are to get through to a person who requests not to be bothered by sales calls. That might put a stop to that nonsense.

[Treasure]

I get to "field" sales calls too - so when they ask for my boss, i ask them hold one moment - while i find out if he's available- the i ask him if he wants to deal with it, or have them leave a message... and then i pick them back up, and inform them that "i'm sorry, he's tied up at the moment, but if you could leave a voicemail he'll get back to you" at that point they usually ask for an email - which i provide - because he can delete it if its spam....

however some people simply ask for him by name, and when i ask who's calling please they only want to provide me a name... and so i ask: "With...?" sometimes they don't want to give me that, so they get the same as everybody else....