A little lesson in assuming...

[MystyGlyttyr]

Usually people ask "Was I sucky?" I wasn't. No one will convince me otherwise.

In case I haven't mentioned it before, I have Asperger's. (Like I don't bring it up every chance I get, heh.) Part of my eccentricities includes being unable to filter out background noises. Usually it doesn't bother me, but in perpetually busy stores like Wal-Mart, it can get so loud and so chaotic that I freak out and can barely keep from bolting out of the store at full speed and/or attacking anyone who gets within ten feet.

So I did some reading on the subject and discovered some Aspies and autistics use headphones or earmuffs to cover up the sound. So, I've started carrying my CD player around with me so I can listen to my music while I shop and don't notice all the carrying on around me, therefore I don't freak out and possibly jam a ketchup bottle down someone's throat.

The door greeters at Wal-Mart have been super-cool when I started doing this, all I have to do is bring them my CD player and explain why I have it, and they're happy to mark it for me so that it's known that it's not been shoplifted. I put it in my pocket, hide the wire to the headphones under my shirt, and keep the volume just high enough to block the noise without irritating people around me (as long as they're not invading my personal space).

The cashier, though, was just a bit snotty. I only bought a few things, so I headed towards an express lane. THERE WAS A SIGN, which read 20 items or less, I had about 14 items, so I figured I was safe. I read the sign a few times to make sure it said 20 and not 10 because I will not go to an express if I'm over, even by just one or two items. It said 20. However, since the line was fairly long and the cashier was, ahem, slow, I left my headphones on while I was in line. Hey, I have "Welcome to the Black Parade" by My Chemical Romance on there, I can be patient with anything.

The fellow in front of me finished loading his things and moved to pay, so I started putting my stuff up and watched the cashier. As soon as she had his change in her hand, I turned off my CD player and took the headphones off, leaving them around my neck. Hence, no sound.

The woman turned to look at me, glanced at my headphones, and said, not joking, "Are you gonna be able to hear me?"

Figuring she thought I had a hearing disorder, I smiled and said "Yeah, I can hear you just fine."

She hmphed a bit. "Good, because I'm not yelling over your music."

Okay, now I'm irritated, but hey, whatever, she's probably had lots of drooling moron teenagers come through her line with their IPods blaring, I'll let it slide for now. So I finish putting the stuff on the counter and she shakes her head at me.

"You have too many items for this lane, I can't get you here."

Deep breath. Keep it together. "The sign says you take 20 items or less, I only have 14."

She looks a bit miffed (probably that I read the sign) but starts checking me out. I just keep my mouth shut because I'm happy that I was able to shop today without freaking out and I don't feel like ruining my night.

About halfway through, she started muttering. "Do you have your receipt for that?"

"My receipt for what?"

"That CD player. You have a receipt for that, don't you?"

"Um, no. This is my CD player, I've had it for weeks."

She actually STOPS scanning and looks at me. "Why do you have it in here, then?"

There's about three people in line and I really don't feel like having this conversation. "That's really none of your business."

"Can you prove you didn't steal it?"

GRRRRRRRRRRR...

"Yes, I can, *door greeter* over there talked to me when I brought it in and put a sticker on it for me so that EVERYONE would know I didn't steal it. Call him and ask if you don't believe me."

"Just to listen to music in the store?"

So now I had to raise my voice to make sure everyone in line knew who the idjit was in this exchange.

"IT'S BECAUSE I'M AUTISTIC AND THE BACKGROUND NOISE IN YOUR STORE IS TOO MUCH FOR ME TO HANDLE WITHOUT FLYING INTO A BERSERKER RAGE, DOES THAT MAKE MORE SENSE TO YOU?"

I wish I could say that she yelped her way into silence and was stunned at her own hubris, but that would be a lie. She hmphed again and finished checking me out, handed me my change, and gave me a fake cheerful "THAAAAAANK YOUUUUUUUU."

If I had the will to get up and drive over there, I'd complain, but I'm frankly not in the mood. I'm not sure what she was p'o'ed at me about but whatever.

[KuzcoLlama]

That's why I like going to my little grocery store. FEW PEOPLE. I have been able to go in the bigger ones, but only with people, otherwise I get panicky and nervous and then just leave.

I guess I'm lucky the only times I've encountered a "sucky" cashier they just didn't talk to me. Works for me!

[BookstoreEscapee]

Did she think your ears were in your neck or something? You weren't wearing your headphones so why would she think you couldn't hear her? And why shouldn't you have your own property in your pocket or wherever the heck you want to put it? Am I supposed to take all my stuff out of my purse when I go in a store so no one thinks I'm stealing? (harumph, harumph. her attitude pissed me off and I wasn't even there...)

Sometimes I listen to music because I have tinnitis and when it's quiet around me the ringing gets annoying. Though that's not really a problem at work; the dull roar from the warehouse outside my office when the doors are closed kind of acts as white noise. And stores are usually noisy enough.

OT (sort of): I was just reading an article the other day about a girl with Asperger's. She's a grad student in neuroscience but often gets lost in her own lab. She marked all the doors with different colored tape to help her remember her way around. It was an interesting article, from the December issue of Psychology Today. It caught my eye because I know there's a few of you on this board; it gave me a bit of insight.

-ams-

[BlaqueKatt]

that's why I'm having massive issues with two of my co-workers(I use that term loosly because the past two days out of the 8 members of my team according to the numbers-I've been the only one doing work-yay me) that spend 3-4 hours next to me chatting-I CAN"T TAKE IT!! it was fine when I could wear my Ipod and drown them out but now we're taking "mentor Calls"(calls for when the floor agents have a question they don't know/can't find the answer to) I have no music-and they always manage to find some excuse to get out of mentor calls(we're ALL supposed to be on the phones-the past two days it's been-again just me-yay me), today it was both of them were upset because one of them was having problems getting her vacation-monday one had "lost her voice" but was ok to talk for 4 hours at the others desk-I hate this-and I hate being autistic, sometimes.

BlaqueKatt-team of one again

[Gurndigarn]

I've done the headphones at the store routine, but I don't have Aspergers. (At least, I don't think so). My issue is that my job trains me to pay attention to background noises and listen for the quirks. So going into, say, WalMart, where they have people, muzak, video advertising, and movies all at once, with the sounds fading in and out as I move around, drives me nuts.

[rdp78]

I have a mental disorder myself so I have problems dealing with people and I had a few axeity(sp) attacks but I'm okay with background noises, I think but I never wore headphones or anything like that while I'm shopping. Anyway I think that cashier was really sucky because why would she say you were over the limit when you were really under and I really don't understand that unless she was confuse on what register she was on. Also did she see the sticker or mark on your player I mean if she did she wouldn't accuse you of stealing it and I don't think it was any of her business why you need to listen to music (good choice through) I mean some people just like to listen to music all the time.

Anyway I've never had this problem at Wally World because I use those self-checkouts all the time (ussually don't buy to many things) and so I don't have to deal with a cashier. They also have them at the supermarket I go to and so I just never have to deal with a cashier when I'm doing my grocey shopping (even through there was one time I should have use a regalur lane becuase I had pretty large order which is unusual). I think when I check out at other stores I don't think the cashiers talk to much you know just the "how's everything" type of talk but that's about it well, execpt the total and small talk sometimes. However, I used to be a cashier (yeah, I lasted 11 months which isn't that bad for someone like me) and I didn't talk to much to the customers just tell them how much there total is not to mention what we take incase (I don't think I did the "how's everything" speech anyway).

[myswtghst]

I feel you on this. I'm ADD, so for me, being in a busy, noisy store can be overwhelming. I usually only get groceries late at night when the stores are mostly empty. And at work, I often listen to my iPod with an ear bud in the ear I don't have my headset on, just to drown out my coworkers and their distracting noises.

[GayleShy]

What the hell?? If anyone in the Wal-Mart that I work at even thought about being that rude and, first off, trying to turn away a customer with more than the allowed items, let alone turning them away for less that the limit, or secondly, hinting or, in this case, flat out asking if someone stole something, we'd be out on our rears. Well, maybe she'll be gone and you would have to deal with her again. It just sucks that you had to deal with her to start with.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I don't get problems with store noise, it's bus noise and train noise that gets me; I always have to have music playing or I end up stressing my way to a headache. But, how rude can you get! If you can, you should report that woman as she's obviously a total bitch.

By the way, I've told a few people I know about my (fairly recent) discovery of being an Aspie, and every one of them said "I knew it!" or words to that effect. O_o

[XCashier]

Just goes to show, there are Sucky Employees as well as Sucky Customers.

No, you weren't the sucky one, Mysty. You got the sticker to prove it was yours, you were polite until she pushed you too far. She needs a bit of sensitivity training. She assumed you were up to no good and treated you rudely.

And you know what happens when you ASSUME, right? You make an ASS of U and ME!

[BookstoreEscapee]

And you know what happens when you ASSUME, right? You make an ASS of U and ME!

Yay Felix! I love the Odd Couple!

BlaqueKatt: It sounds like you need to bring in a tape recorder or something and record how long they talk, then give it to the boss!

In my company employees absolutely CANNOT accuse someone of stealing, unless they saw the person hide merchandise and leave the store with it. If they get out of your sight for even a minute, you are not allowed to say anything, because you don't know they didn't put it down somewhere. And you pretty much have to catch them in the doorway because you're not supposed to go after them if they get out the door (mostly that's a safety issue). However, if we suspect someone they get extreme customer service and there's always lots of work to do in the area they're in.

[ShortTemperHatesStupidity]

The cashier, though, was just a bit snotty. Followed by remainder of story

I can't believe someone would open their mouth and say such bold and offensive statements, especially to a customer who's done nothing to offend. I'm all for speaking your mind, making sure you're not "put out" by someone elses behavior, but there's a line that you just don't cross. Getting into your personal business about why you choose to wear your headphones is none of her freaking business. I'd have definitely made the time to complain about that one. Kudos to you for not making a bigger deal out of it.

[wagegoth]

Mysty, the checker wasn't "a little snooty," she was a gold-plated, jewel-encrusted b***h on roller skates.

She was obviously unhappy and decided to take it out on you. Please, I mean, aren't all the iPods under lock and key in the store? I see people all the time in stores with their earbuds in, and I've yet to see anyone question them.

I've twice flown down to Comic-con for the day. By the time I get home, I'm physically wiped out for the next couple of days from the continuous noise. First, the plane, then all day in a building with 100,000 people (I'll go outside now and then just to give my ears and head a break), then the flight home.

I used to work a few feet away from a woman who talked all day. This included talking to herself, reading all her emails and memos aloud, repeating her voicemails aloud, and asking her computer why it couldn't find the document she was looking for. I was amazed at how competent she was at her job. She really was. I learned to tune her out. It would get funny, though, because when she would ask me a question I wouldn't hear her. It was just more background noise. She usually had to say my name about three times before I heard her.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Funny, I talk to myself sometimes. It's often the only way I can get intelligent conversation. XD Tho it's usually only when I'm driving.

she was a gold-plated, jewel-encrusted b***h on roller skates.

And the crowd said "Amen!"

[Auto]

No customer ever has to prove that what's his is really his. Unless the store can prove the item was shoplifted, you don't owe her or anyone else any explanation. So you could have told her that no, you can't prove your CD player belongs to you and then watched to see if she'd do anything.

You were amazingly nice to someone who went out of her way to treat you like crap.