This is not respectful or even acceptable

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I don't imagine they do like it. I'm not even a senior citizen and I don't like it when some young kid does it to me. I dont' get mad, but it does make me cringe.

Thanks for the link.

[wolfie]

Hell, go to Disneyworld and everyone gets called "Princess". Which I actually think is funny and kind of charming. But then, EVERY FEMALE on the premises gets called that.

I wonder how they'd deal with a transvestite who's offended by that and insists that where he's from, people like him are referred to as "Queens".

Source: old joke about sucky passenger and male flight attendant.

[XCashier]

I don't get overly-familiar with people or use flirty nicknames; I call men "sir" or women "ma'am" (unless I know their names, then I use those), no matter what their age. I get uncomfortable when someone refers to me as "sweetie" "sugar" "honey"; I'm a person, not junk food!

One thing that made me go was a former coworker addressing a group of women as "you guys". Um, seriously? "Guys" is strictly a male term! I use the gender-neutral "folks" when addressing a group of people.

[Food Lady]

I'd much rather be called anything besides ma'am. When I'm 80 y'all can call me whatever you want; I'll be too old to care. And I do call a group of any gender-mix "you guys"; it's a west-coast thing, as is "y'all". (Yes, I know that was a southern thing first.)

[Barracuda]

I've kinda got mixed feelings. Speaking as a customer service rep, I know how easy it is to go on autopilot when speaking without even realizing it. And have had friends who were once waitresses call me "Hon" or "Sugar" without even realizing it until after it's out--after which they turned rather interesting shades of red.

[georgie]

i once stayed at a hotel in my old home town and it was next to an all night Fast Eddy's and at midnight i heard a delicous burger and hot fries call my name so went over. the server was probabley my age or a tad older (mid to late 20's at the time). she called me honey, sweety, love and a couple other names i think.


i dont like it. never have never will.



i used to play darts with a woman (complete and utter hypochondriac) who constantly called me dear. i was mid 20's and she was probabley 40's.

i find the term "dear" very condescending and had put up with it from her for a looong time.
i went to darts one night in a little bit of a mood (unusual for me) and she started in on the "dears". after the second time she said it i turned to her and said "my name is georgie, not dear".

i was called my proper name from then on.


terms of endearment (IMO) are fine if you know the person but if you dont then its not ok.

[Skeen]

I call everyone "babe." That is an old habit from back in my teens, when I was on a softball team called the Babes. Everyone's name was hyphenated to include babe. Naomi-babe. Kendall-babe. Skeen-babe. I try to be very conscious about it and not do it, but every once in a while it slips out.

My grandmother (turning 90 next week, we're taking her gamblin'!)LOVES being called things like "sweetie," "honey," etc. She used to own a restaurant and called everyone by those names so I guess it just seems natural.

[thatcrazyredhead]

I call children sweetie and sweetheart. Any woman who is an adult that I don't know is a ma'am. I do tend to use "dear" for the inbetween age, teenagers and very young adults. As in "here you go, dear". Maybe I shouldn't. I don't say it to be condescending, but maybe it comes across that way anyway?

It does. I'll be 27 in a few weeks, but I look about 16 and I get that all the time. I HATE it when strangers call me by terms of endearment (sweetie, dear, hon, etc). I once walked out in the middle of getting my haircut because the woman would not stop calling me "Hon," no matter how many times I (very politely) said, "My name is ThatCrazyRedhead. Please don't call me 'Hon.'" When I worked in the call center, I would remind people of my name three or four times, but after that, for every "Dear" or "Hon" they got a "Schmoopsie Poo" or "Schnookums."

Sorry, rambling on. The point is that using terms of endearment to address strangers is patronizing and rude at any age, IMO.

[Princess J]

I don't know why, but certain strangers calling me pet names bothers me more than others. Usually it is in the tone of voice, and amount of condescension. Usually middle aged men tend to throw a condescending "sweetie" my way. I don't tend to put up with it, so anytime someone calls me a pet name in a rude manner, I smile brightly and say something along the lines of "sure thing, honey." It's subtle but it works. Bonus points if his wife is standing right there. I've made a couple of them laugh while her husband stands there stunned for a second. I get the feeling they are just as annoyed with his names as I am.

[XCashier]

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Coffee is proof that God loves us and wants us to be productive. Chocolate is proof that God loves us and wants us not to kill stupid people.

but I love your signature! Especially the last line.

[Retail's Bitch]

My 'go-to' used to be 'hun'. Until it backfired on me one day working at the discount store and this rather smelly, rather unkempt special needs fellow thought I was flirting with him.

And stalked me for weeks even though I was married to CMH at the time and he even worked there with me and told the guy nicely, and then no so nicely to F-off a few times..

Yeah. I probably would've referred to your Nan as 'hon.' I'm not a big 'm'am, sir' person and I'm horrible with names. At the studio, I refer to the Mums as "Mum." The Dads as "Dad" and the grandmas as "Nana." the rest of the brood gets a 'hey you' or a "hon." or a 'commere n sit!' if they're not listening. LOL

[mikoyan29]

I do not like hun, sweetie or whatever. My mom doesn't either and you can see it on her face when a waitress or waiter calls her that.

[Pony_Boy]

Guess I'm in the minority here but I think getting called "hun" "sweetie" "dear" etc is great!!! I worked on the front lines of customer service/sales in many positions for over 10 years dealing with people from all over the world and I very seldom ever called anyone Sir or Ma'am I've never had anyone tell me it was inappropriate or uncalled for in fact I've been told many times by customers that they find it refreshing and friendly.

That being said and understood, I can see how it can be taken as being "too casual" or familiar for some people However, I certainly don't think it's something worth complaining about

Just my opinion though

[thatcrazyredhead]

but I love your signature! Especially the last line.

Thanks, XCashier! I know I've hear the first two lines (Ben Franklin and someone else I can't remember), but the third one's mine.

Guess I'm in the minority here but I think getting called "hun" "sweetie" "dear" etc is great!!! I worked on the front lines of customer service/sales in many positions for over 10 years dealing with people from all over the world and I very seldom ever called anyone Sir or Ma'am I've never had anyone tell me it was inappropriate or uncalled for in fact I've been told many times by customers that they find it refreshing and friendly.

That being said and understood, I can see how it can be taken as being "too casual" or familiar for some people However, I certainly don't think it's something worth complaining about

My issue really isn't with it being too casual or overly familiar, more that it feels like I'm being patronized or talked-down-to, and that makes me angry. I'm older than I look, but even when I was a teenager, I was intelligent, polite, respectful, and responsible and I felt like I deserved to be treated with respect. It's just worse now that I'm an adult, married, pay all my own bills, etc. People can be friendly without having to be condescending.

[Pony_Boy]

See, I think that's where the disconnect is with me. I have alot of trouble seeing how most of these nicknames could be taken as being condescending at all. ( except of course when they're used with that "special" tone of voice - that's an all together different thing)

However, I can understand how some people can find it disrespectful when addressing an elder or someone of a "higher station" I don't necessarily agree with it but I can see where it comes from

I don't mean to start a debate I just don't grasp the correlation