This is not respectful or even acceptable

[RetailWorkhorse]

Here's the scale I use:

Kiddies = Chilipeppers

Teens/Young Adults = "Honey" with a deeeeeeeeep southern drawl.

Everybody Else = Sir/Ma'am.


I can get away with the southern "Honey" seeing as I'm Mel (pronounced Miel by the locals and that means honey! ). I get called Miha (...I hardcore look like a girl some days) a lot.

My new CW is named after an Actor (and breakfast food) but I call him Chilipepper or Boyfriend (I call our truck drivers Boyfriend, too).

[BeenThereDoneThat]

Where I work, we ask for the customer's first name when we take a call, and we are encouraged to use that and discouraged from using "Sir" or "Ma'am" as it can be taken as condescending. Of course, if we are engaging in friendly banter it's OK here and there.

I don't personally mind terms of endearment from strangers too much though it is odd for a person much younger than myself to call me "hun" or something of that nature....

[Morningchaser]

I work in a gay bar, where I can and do call everyone sweet, hon and dear. at my day job, dealing with the youngish men (16-27ish) I will accidentally slip. Their girlfriends don't like that very much... :S

LOVE IT! Heh. ^_^

I honestly didn't know that so many people had a problem with using terms like 'sweetie', 'honey', etc. I don't use them myself, but that's just because I don't care to, but around here it's just kind of what alot of people say. I guess I could see if it's a tonal insult, but I've always just thought of them as terms that some people use to address other people. Yeah I say things like 'Dude' or if I need to get your attention I'll try to get eye contact or keep saying 'excuse me'. I, personally, HATE using 'Ma'am' because it sounds too antiquated to me, and the only time I'd say 'Sir' is if I joined the army or was talking to a man in leather

[greek_jester]

I've always tried to take into account regional habits, the age of the person, & what type of interaction we're in the middle of (professional, casual, etc).

I used to live not far from London, so a lot of Londoners moved to our town for the cheaper cost of living & commuted to work. As such, I got used to a lot of people calling me luv, ducks, mate, & variations thereof. They didn't mean it offensively or patronisingly, it was just the way they talked in their part of London. You got to know the tone of the ones who actually meant it as less than polite.

In shops? Depending on the business, I'd get a blank stare, the odd grunt, & a finger pointing when it was time to stick my card in the reader, or I'd get someone who was slightly fawning & calling me ma'am. Retail wasn't highly regarded as a career option around there Restaurants/cafes, however, tended to be filled with people who were attentive, bustling & polite. Anyone who wasn't tended to get the boot pretty quickly. Never quite figured out why that attitude was prevalent, but what can you do?

[Peppergirl]

At work I've developed a habit lately that I think could backfire on me eventually:

(Background: Supervisor in travel call center)

When I am wrapping up a conversation that's gone exceptionally well - in which I've helped someone out and they've thanked me profusely (happens occasionally), I find myself saying 'Oh, you're so welcome, hon.'

Male, female...old, young. Doesn't matter.

I'm not sure where it's come from...maybe it's because my youngest child has recently moved out and the mothering instinct is stronger?

I'm waiting for it to bite me in the ass, though. Most people (especially the men) seem to appreciate it..so far, at least.

[Pagan]

While most TODs irk the hell out of me, I realized, while watching "HawthoRNe" the other night, that there's one that doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Mija.

I think probably because I grew up hearing it, but have never heard it used condescendingly.

[RetailWorkhorse]

Mija.

Ah, that must be how it's spelled. I get called Mija. Never Mijo. I'm a Mijo, dammit. I'm so tired of being called a girl....

[thatcrazyredhead]

While most TODs irk the hell out of me, I realized, while watching "HawthoRNe" the other night, that there's one that doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Mija.

I think probably because I grew up hearing it, but have never heard it used condescendingly.

I actually don't go to Wendy's anymore because the guy at the drive through window kept calling me Mija.

[MoonCat]

I've honestly never understood women not wanting to be called "ma'am". The term has been around for a very long time and has always been a term of respect. "Miss" is OK, I guess. I don't like being called "hon", "sweetie" or "dear" by strangers, but I don't usually object unless they are condescending or nasty.

I did object once to a term someone used to me. I was on the train on the way to work once & this young guy turns to me and says "Excuse me, snowbunny..."

Me: Pardon me?

He claimed to be from North Carolina and said that he just called all the women up here in the north that. My response: "They don't teach manners in North Carolina?" (Now, I know that's not true, I'm sure they do, but this kid's comment really floored me).

First, I am not a child, I was clearly older than he was. Second, I am not a cute little fuzzy critter, and terms like that should best be saved for someone you are very close to.

Damn kids

[Becks]

I've honestly never understood women not wanting to be called "ma'am".

Being called "ma'am" makes me feel old. I'm not even 32 yet.

[RetailWorkhorse]

"They don't teach manners in North Carolina?"

Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewp. Not no more they don't. Mayhaps in the lowlands and foothills, but not the mountains no more.

Being called "ma'am" makes me feel old. I'm not even 32 yet.

That's probably on account'a "Ma'am" is supposed to be a modern version of "Madam". I used to use Mistress and Master but no one save for the men I called Master would listen to me.

Nowadays I only call Master Ernie "Master" (and only because his lifemate gets a kick out of it).

[Miss Maple Leaf]

Being called "ma'am" makes me feel old. I'm not even 32 yet.

I'm the opposite. I'm 26 and I hate being called "miss". It makes me feel like a kid.

My general rule is to use "miss" for teenagers, and "ma'am" for any woman who's at least 20. I don't know why, but miss just seems like a young term to me, while ma'am is a term to use for any adult woman.

[telecom_goddess]

I get called ma'am a lot now and I no likey....It makes me feel old.

And Mistress has some....connotations that would not fit on me

[dalesys]

And Mistress has some....connotations that would not fit on me

...between matress & mister?

[MoonCat]

Only women worry about a term of respect being age-related. Have you ever heard of a man objecting to being called "sir?"

Just sayin'.