Another "I Don't Work Here" Situation

[Gaki]

I was in a closing bookstore trying to chomp up as much of the sale as I possibly could with my lovely sister. I'm talking to my sister about going over to the animal section to look at the dog books because I'm a dog person when this occurs:

Oblivious Guy: Hey, do you have any books on the Crocodile man?
Me: I'm sorry?
OG: The Crocodile man...the guy. Steve...
Me: Steve Irwin?
OG: The Crocodile Hunter.
Me: Yeah, that's Steve Irwin. I don't know if they have any books on him.
SISTER: You could try in the Bio section.
OG: *stares at her a little like he didn't know she was there* Uuuuh...already did.
Me: Well we're going to the animals section, that's the only conceivable place I can think of other than Bio.

As he's following us I say kinda under my breath to her, "I don't work here." She takes hold of my laynard and jingles my keys. It dawns on me. Every time someone thinks I work somewhere it's because I'm wearing MY KEYS AROUND MY NECK. Oh sweet baby Jesus how did I not make this connection before?! It's too late though for this one so I make a quick scan of the shelves and tell Mr. Oblivious I don't see any books on Crocodiles at all much less Steve Irwin, then I grab the Cesar Milan book I wanted and (pardon the pun) BOOK it out of there.

I just wear them around my neck because they're the one thing of mine that gets lost more than anything else. I think losing them is worse than people thinking I work somewhere so I think I'll keep wearing them despite the annoyance. I'd rather not lose them.

[Treasure]

have you tried keeping them on your purse? (this is of course presuming that you carry one) I keep mine on my purse via a "dog clip" (looks like a question mark, has the pull down). I have to lose my purse to lose my keys ... now if only there were as sure a way for me not to lose my sunglasses.... *sigh*

[Gaki]

have you tried keeping them on your purse? (this is of course presuming that you carry one) I keep mine on my purse via a "dog clip" (looks like a question mark, has the pull down). I have to lose my purse to lose my keys ... now if only there were as sure a way for me not to lose my sunglasses.... *sigh*

I don't carry one unfortunately. I end up leaving those places too which is why my wallet is usually in my back pocket (my phone is in my other back pocket because I can sit on it without breaking it.) I just don't seem to by a purse kind of person but I'm considering getting a shoulder bag. I just have to make sure I don't forget THAT. I think it would be easier though because if I sat down somewhere I could just have it stay on me because it would just hang next to my chair. I dunno. I've considered purses but they never seem to work out very well. (With me being as forgetful as I am.)

[Seshat]

Sew a belt loop onto any garment that doesn't have one (including skirts and dresses). Attach a carabiner or dog leash clip to your keyring. Attach keys to belt loop.

[Teskeria]

Add a nice card that says "I Don't work here. $50.00 Cash in advance to have your question answered." on both sides. Be sure to laminate it so it lasts. (Take it off when at work of course)

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Sew a belt loop onto any garment that doesn't have one (including skirts and dresses). Attach a carabiner or dog leash clip to your keyring. Attach keys to belt loop.

I can tell you with confidence that won't make a wet slap bit of difference. None. Nada. The Empty Set.

Because that's what I do. It's like a pork chop, and the oblivions are like hungry dogs.

I am not sure why keys=employee.

Visible keys, any sort of pants other than jeans (and often jeans, too), a dress shirt, a golf shirt, a ponytail. They are like a clarion call to the oblivious shopper.

As God is my witness, I witnessed an obvious biker get asked "do you work here." He had a button on his vest that said "Fuck."

Hand on a stack of Bibles. I couldn't make this stuff up.

[Duncan MacLeod]

I just wear them around my neck because they're the one thing of mine that gets lost more than anything else. I think losing them is worse than people thinking I work somewhere so I think I'll keep wearing them despite the annoyance. I'd rather not lose them.

I have my wallet chained to my pants, and my watch chained to that (sort of like high school , but a nicer chain) and have like 500 keys otherwise i'd lose them on a daily basis.

[Food Lady]

I can tell you with confidence that won't make a wet slap bit of difference. None. Nada. The Empty Set. Because that's what I do. It's like a pork chop, and the oblivions are like hungry dogs. I am not sure why keys=employee. Visible keys, any sort of pants other than jeans (and often jeans, too), a dress shirt, a golf shirt, a ponytail. They are like a clarion call to the oblivious shopper. As God is my witness, I witnessed an obvious biker get asked "do you work here." He had a button on his vest that said "Fuck." Hand on a stack of Bibles. I couldn't make this stuff up.

This is why I love you, RK. You have a way with the words. It's very....picturesque.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Thank you, Food Lady.

I swear when I tell this story I kind of inwardly cringe because it sounds so over the top.

All I can say is I wish you all could have seen the look on the biker's face.

I had to go up and speak to him after. It was just too rich.

[dragon_wings]

I have a d-ring I use. It has my keys (key to my front door, the lock on my door, and the key to my sister's house), a watch, and any membership cards (grocery store, haircuttery, and library card) I use. It goes on one particular belt loop on any pair of pants I'm wearing.

[Solumina]

I think the jingling draws them in and hypnotizes them or something.

I frequently put my key ring in my pocket with the actual keys hanging out, along with the MVP or whatever thingy for the store I'm going into and the rest of the key-chain in the pocket. I noticed that I was mistaken for an employee more frequently when I have mine than when I have hubby's and he has about half as many keys (but they are just about as visible) so there is a lot less jingling.

[MoonCat]

You could keep them on the lanyard and just drop the thing down your shirt. Customers probably won't notice the part you can see above the top of the shirt.

I think. Worth a try maybe?

[Gaki]

Add a nice card that says "I Don't work here. $50.00 Cash in advance to have your question answered." on both sides. Be sure to laminate it so it lasts. (Take it off when at work of course)

BAHAHAHAHAHA! This. I shall do this! Muahahaha! I'll just hold it up when people ask me questions. ^ ^ AWESOME.

[Food Lady]

I've been thinking, and it's not always the keys, nor the shirt. Sometimes it's their entitlement. They subconsciously think they are the lone customers, so any other people in the store, even bikers, must be employees. The store exists solely for said entitled customers.

[PepperElf]

Hah. I got that too, probably at the same book store.

Why? Because where I work is kinda in the same plaza as the book store. I got off of work, took off part of my uniform, and went to check out the sales.

And of course because I still looked semi-professional, at least 3 people stopped me asking for help. LOL