They'll learn eventually

[HappyFun Ball]

Despite putting my number on the Do Not Call list on several occasions, I still get sales solicitations.. My 2 favorites are the " Your car warranty is about to expire" and the " You can lower the interest rate one your credit cards", now, I used to just hang up but I started to stay on the line when they started calling 3 times a day.

Car warranty place:

"We are calling to inform you that your vehicle warranty is about to expire, press one to renew your warranty"

Me: *presses 1*

CSR: Hello, are you calling to renew your warranty?

Me: Yes, but first tell me what I drive.

CSR: How should I know?

Me: Well, since you know that my warranty is about to expire, then you should know what I drive.

CSR:........

Me:.My thoughts exactly


The "reduce your credit card interest rate"

Lower the rate on your credit card to 3%, press 1

Me: presses 1

CSR: Are you calling to lower your rate?

Me: Why don't you tell me what kind of credit card I have.

CSR: *click*

Yeah, they used to get all smart assed with me, one time I even got into a shouting match with a CSR where I told him to get a real job.

Yeah, I was being sucky, but I am on the Do Not Call list and they were calling 3 or more times a day.

[blas]

Even better is when you get harrassing mail about your "expired" car warranty.

I don't know how, but unfortunately, those scam places got my info about my car and whatnot. Unfortunately for them, I know I extended my bumper to bumper and it's not expired until 2014. And my motor/tran is good until 2015.

The first time I got that mail, I called the dealership, and the guy who sold me my car apologized and said that companies like these get customers' info and try to send them mail like this or call them.

I like your idea, though. If I ever do get a call like that, I will have to challenge them. That'd be hilarious.

[blondemarmot]

My brother likes to answer with "911, what's your emergency?"

[BeenThereDoneThat]

Those answers are hilarious. I'll have to remember them.

[Buglady]

I love that car warranty one; too funny, given that I have not owned a car in over six years, and even then it was a 20 year old car that had far outlived the most extended of extended warranties...

I've always wondered what they'd do if I enthusiastically asked for details on how their warranty would work for my bike

[XCashier]

I'm always getting calls offering me a chance to lower my mortgage rate. Which would be fantabulous except for one thing: I live in an apartment. I don't have a mortgage!

I'm going to have to try a similar answer to HPB's. "Mortgage? Really? So what kind of house do I have?"

[Racket_Man]

The Do Not Call list is a joke these days. there are soooo many spoofed numbers, shady companies, scammers, etc. that even making a formal and legal complaint to the your State AG or the Federal FTC is mostly useless.

[pitmonkey]

My SIL would give the phone to my niece and let her talk to them. She was about 4 at the time and thought talking on the phone was great. They soon stopped calling.

[fireheart]

A friend of mine and her mother do not get along. Basically her boyfriend is a friend of mine and we both grew up in the same region-which has been labelled by my friend's mother as "the dirty south". That and a few other things....yeah the relationship between the two is tense as hell.

Lately whenever my friend's mother calls my friends house, her boyfriend answers the phone with "<Name>'s Porn Palace, how may I help you?" or "The Crazy Horse, home of the best lap dances in Adelaide."

[Flying Grype]

I can always tell a phone scammer or solicitor because they call me Mrs. B instead of Ms./Mrs. G. I didn't change my name when I got married. If they call me Mrs. B it's because the phone number is registered in my husband's name, so when they call and get a woman they address her by his name. That's how I know they aren't legitimately connected to any service I already use and are just trying to sell me something or scam me.

[MoonCat]

With the Do Not Call registry, there is an exception: If you've done business with the company within a certain amount of time, they can call you even if you're on that list. Of course, I'm sure some of the shadier companies don't follow the list at all.

[ozcatbug]

I can always tell a phone scammer or solicitor because they call me Mrs. B instead of Ms./Mrs. G. I didn't change my name when I got married. If they call me Mrs. B it's because the phone number is registered in my husband's name, so when they call and get a woman they address her by his name. That's how I know they aren't legitimately connected to any service I already use and are just trying to sell me something or scam me.

This happens to me, though they always ask for Mrs B, and I answer honestly that there is no one here by that name. I've never been married, and while my mother is Mrs B, I'm just plain old Miss B. The way the confusion rolls over the phone lines is awesome. So far they have never corrected themselves to call me by my correct title. They usually just try to say "Well while we have you on the phone, you have won...." Yeah, nice try.

As for funny responses to phone calls, I used to work with a guy that made me laugh every time he answered the internal phones. The two that come to mind are:
- Tony's Crematorium. You kill 'em, we grill 'em
- Tony's Taxidermy. You snuff 'em, we stuff 'em
He had many others, but since it has been 10 years since I worked there, it's hard to remember them all. I think there was one about the morgue as well that he used on a regular basis, but he would usually have at least one new one per day.

[Argus]

Me: Why don't you tell me what kind of credit card I have.

CSR: *click*

I get the same result with three words: "Which credit card?"

As for funny responses to phone calls, I used to work with a guy that made me laugh every time he answered the internal phones. The two that come to mind are:
- Tony's Crematorium. You kill 'em, we grill 'em
- Tony's Taxidermy. You snuff 'em, we stuff 'em
He had many others, but since it has been 10 years since I worked there, it's hard to remember them all. I think there was one about the morgue as well that he used on a regular basis, but he would usually have at least one new one per day.

I think the standard "morgue" response is "You stab 'em, we slab 'em."

[wagegoth]

Ugh, we recently got the testing calls at work. They swept through every phone on the floor. I'm just waiting for the sales calls to begin.

[Sapphire Silk]

With the Do Not Call registry, there is an exception: If you've done business with the company within a certain amount of time, they can call you even if you're on that list. Of course, I'm sure some of the shadier companies don't follow the list at all.

Ditto for charities and politicians.

Ugh, we recently got the testing calls at work. They swept through every phone on the floor. I'm just waiting for the sales calls to begin.

Testing calls? What are those?

HappyFunBall's OP reminds me of an old college roommate of mine. She'd get these calls from MCI trying to get her to switch our long distance service (we had AT&T at the time).

She'd ask them to explain how their service was better than AT&T's . . . in detail. Then argue minute points of their service vs AT&T's. She had an ear for detail, and she could keep the conversation going upwards of an hour or more.

I kept telling her to just be rude as hell then hang up. Arguing just made it seem like we were open to change if they could just get the sales pitch right, and the calls would continue. Being an absolute asshat, though, seemed to put them off.

I guess she must have enjoyed stringing them along, though, because she kept doing it.