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I'm not sure if this should go into the Roadkill section or here?
Anyway Here are a few of the regular travellers I run into that need a few extra braincells:
Where are you:
One passenger I have seen half a dozen times in the last few months keeps trying to use their Oyster Card to get through the exit gates at the station. When eventually the staff members prompting of "have you got your (town) train ticket with you?" do they then get out their card ticket.
I almost became one of these *once* when I was trying to get out of the station on the way TO work with my return ticket. I did apologise profusely however when I realised!
The Reverse Striptease
This guy waits until people are getting up to get off of the train before standing up from his seat, put on a jumper, a suit jacket, a coat and take an inordianate amount of time to put on his scarf & gloves. All well blocking the walkway so that you have to wait for him. He always manages to block someone in behind him whilst doing so.
Unfortunately he waits until the train has stopped for this (at the last stop) rather than when its about 2 minutes out and you give you warning.
The Purfume Queen
Every so often a woman and a young child gets on. The woman walks in and you can see the cloud of almost grease around her from perfume. Then when on the train she normally sprays perfume again about 3-4 times. By the time she finishes its almost like we are on the same train as Harry Potter and the Dementors are about to appear.
A few weeks ago I wrote this on Facebook about of these women and a friend said I should print it up for handbag cards
:
This morning I didn't manage to get out of the way of the Perfume Queen so between her and the hail I got to work feeling like I was about to collapse.
Anyway Here are a few of the regular travellers I run into that need a few extra braincells:
Where are you:
One passenger I have seen half a dozen times in the last few months keeps trying to use their Oyster Card to get through the exit gates at the station. When eventually the staff members prompting of "have you got your (town) train ticket with you?" do they then get out their card ticket.
I almost became one of these *once* when I was trying to get out of the station on the way TO work with my return ticket. I did apologise profusely however when I realised!
The Reverse Striptease
This guy waits until people are getting up to get off of the train before standing up from his seat, put on a jumper, a suit jacket, a coat and take an inordianate amount of time to put on his scarf & gloves. All well blocking the walkway so that you have to wait for him. He always manages to block someone in behind him whilst doing so.
Unfortunately he waits until the train has stopped for this (at the last stop) rather than when its about 2 minutes out and you give you warning.
The Purfume Queen
Every so often a woman and a young child gets on. The woman walks in and you can see the cloud of almost grease around her from perfume. Then when on the train she normally sprays perfume again about 3-4 times. By the time she finishes its almost like we are on the same train as Harry Potter and the Dementors are about to appear.
A few weeks ago I wrote this on Facebook about of these women and a friend said I should print it up for handbag cards
: "Dear person on the train: Please note buying a bottle of perfume doesn't enrol you in a chemical weapons testing program. You don't need to use the whole bottle in one go to see a) how much of a haze cloud you can get around you and how much of the furniture it can eat from 5 metres away and b)see how many people you can get to leave the train carriage once you sit down!
Now please report to the radioactive decontamination chamber for the safety of the rest of the planet!"
Now please report to the radioactive decontamination chamber for the safety of the rest of the planet!"
This morning I didn't manage to get out of the way of the Perfume Queen so between her and the hail I got to work feeling like I was about to collapse.
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