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Punched
I was dancing on the corner again like usual. I've got Fleetwood Mac in my ears at a decent volume, enough to hear the whirr of cars and a loud conversation but definitely not low enough to hear a mumble.
All of a sudden I am punched in the arm. Pretty hard.
I turn around absolutely stunned, I even tripped a little on my outfit when I turned and I literally ripped my earbuds out of my ears because this really scary-looking old woman was trying to TALK to me.
Me: I'm sorry Ma'am, how can I help you?
Old Bat: GET MY TAXES DONE.
Me:
Uhhh...
OB: I WANNA GET MY TAXES DONE!
Me: *motions toward the doors* They're in there...
She then hobbles into the tax place and I never see her again. But my boss thinks it's the same old lady who they gave a free tax preparation because her refund with all the fees from the tax place would have been pretty measley. She handed my Other Boss 13 bucks and when Other Boss counted it out loud the Old Bat said, "Is that a ten?!" and then grabbed the ten off the counter and continued, "I can't afford that!"
Leaving them with a 3 dollar tip for a FREE tax prep that would have cost her probably over 100 dollars. Awesome. 3 dollars and a punch in the arm.
Lion...?
Dancing, waving, a truck rolls by. There's a full-sized taxidermy lion in the back. Wut.
More of this?
Stupid Boy: SHOW US YOUR TITTIES.
Me: ...how?
For the first time...
I had to walk briskly inside and pretend I was never out there. I was minding my own business and suddenly there is a loud "bang." When I look around I see nothing out of the ordinary except...pieces of someone's bumper on the ground.
Que me turning quickly and going inside. This is proper procedure when there is an accident outside...you remove yourself as to reduce liability for the company when people are grabbing at straws to blame an accident on. Of course it will always be you. You are a moving some-what shiny distraction on the side of the road. Therefore I immediately went inside, told my bosses I was never out there and since it was 15 minutes before the end of my shift anyhow they let me take off the outfit and go home early.
Yeesh.
Almost a Disaster
Note to drivers: Big tractor trailer trucks make wide right turns. Therefore you are never to be on the right hand side of them when they are turning right and you are trying to turn right too. Why are they in the left hand turn lane? Well that's because if he wasn't then he would take out that lovely utility pole on the corner and probably smash my toes no matter how close to the building I put myself. So why in God's name did you think you could go straight when he's turning right?
I screamed. I did. My boss was like, "Did you scream out there?" I was like, "Yeah...I did." I THOUGHT THAT STUPID WOMAN WAS ABOUT TO DIE.
Non work related sighting
I was at the dining hall at my college reading for my homework. I'd been there for a while eating my sandwich and whatever. I was finished with all my food and this guy the next table over was kicking his chair really hard so it would move backward and he would be increasingly bent over to put his arms on the table. Kinda like a kid at a table where there's broccoli and he can't leave until he eats it. Well it got to the point where the back of his chair was against my table and every time he kicked his chair my table would have a mini earthquake.
I downed my mountain dew, got up, and left. He was the type to start a quarrel if I had said something about it and I was done anyway. I'm also painfully quiet when I'm not with people I know.
I was dancing on the corner again like usual. I've got Fleetwood Mac in my ears at a decent volume, enough to hear the whirr of cars and a loud conversation but definitely not low enough to hear a mumble.
All of a sudden I am punched in the arm. Pretty hard.
I turn around absolutely stunned, I even tripped a little on my outfit when I turned and I literally ripped my earbuds out of my ears because this really scary-looking old woman was trying to TALK to me.
Me: I'm sorry Ma'am, how can I help you?
Old Bat: GET MY TAXES DONE.
Me:
Uhhh...OB: I WANNA GET MY TAXES DONE!
Me: *motions toward the doors* They're in there...
She then hobbles into the tax place and I never see her again. But my boss thinks it's the same old lady who they gave a free tax preparation because her refund with all the fees from the tax place would have been pretty measley. She handed my Other Boss 13 bucks and when Other Boss counted it out loud the Old Bat said, "Is that a ten?!" and then grabbed the ten off the counter and continued, "I can't afford that!"
Leaving them with a 3 dollar tip for a FREE tax prep that would have cost her probably over 100 dollars. Awesome. 3 dollars and a punch in the arm.
Lion...?
Dancing, waving, a truck rolls by. There's a full-sized taxidermy lion in the back. Wut.
More of this?
Stupid Boy: SHOW US YOUR TITTIES.
Me: ...how?
For the first time...
I had to walk briskly inside and pretend I was never out there. I was minding my own business and suddenly there is a loud "bang." When I look around I see nothing out of the ordinary except...pieces of someone's bumper on the ground.
Que me turning quickly and going inside. This is proper procedure when there is an accident outside...you remove yourself as to reduce liability for the company when people are grabbing at straws to blame an accident on. Of course it will always be you. You are a moving some-what shiny distraction on the side of the road. Therefore I immediately went inside, told my bosses I was never out there and since it was 15 minutes before the end of my shift anyhow they let me take off the outfit and go home early.
Yeesh.
Almost a Disaster
Note to drivers: Big tractor trailer trucks make wide right turns. Therefore you are never to be on the right hand side of them when they are turning right and you are trying to turn right too. Why are they in the left hand turn lane? Well that's because if he wasn't then he would take out that lovely utility pole on the corner and probably smash my toes no matter how close to the building I put myself. So why in God's name did you think you could go straight when he's turning right?
I screamed. I did. My boss was like, "Did you scream out there?" I was like, "Yeah...I did." I THOUGHT THAT STUPID WOMAN WAS ABOUT TO DIE.
Non work related sighting
I was at the dining hall at my college reading for my homework. I'd been there for a while eating my sandwich and whatever. I was finished with all my food and this guy the next table over was kicking his chair really hard so it would move backward and he would be increasingly bent over to put his arms on the table. Kinda like a kid at a table where there's broccoli and he can't leave until he eats it. Well it got to the point where the back of his chair was against my table and every time he kicked his chair my table would have a mini earthquake.
I downed my mountain dew, got up, and left. He was the type to start a quarrel if I had said something about it and I was done anyway. I'm also painfully quiet when I'm not with people I know.
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