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If you are a cat lover, or those who think PETA is doing the right thing, please read no further. Otherwise, read on.
This sighting comes to me from an old college friend who swears up and down it's true. He's a lawyer, so I doubt he'd lie...bend the truth maybe, but lie?
Kidding aside, I myself first heard this story when working for Lowe's. They gave it to us as a horror story of what can happen when you don't properly explain the workings of a machine to a customer. (names are made up, story is real)
Mrs. Johnson was the type of woman who thought her husband needed to always be out doing something. Sure, it didn't matter that he was half disabled from an accident at work; if he wasn't out of the house working, she wasn't happy. Mrs. J also had a habit of hers. She loved to buy yard tools. It didn't matter the type, or the kind. If it was new and whistled, she wanted it. Had to have it really.
One day, while wandering through her local home improvement store, Mrs. J happened upon something she had never seen the likes of before. It was small, squat and the cutest red color she had ever seen. Turning to the employee, she beamed. "Why that's the cutest little thing. I must have one." The employee blinked, but shrugged and sold it to her. The thing, was the latest woodchipper. Not those kinds you buy off of that TV commercial. Oh no, this thing was a real chipper. Big enough that it took up the whole of her little shed. The lawnmower and tractor would have to be out in the rain, since this thing needed the space.
We don't know how he felt at the time, but we can suppose that Frank (her husband of thirty years) wasn't pleased to see this thing. No, that chipper meant more work. Unless, maybe he could happen to break it. That was a tactic that had worked in the past for him, but this time he wouldn't have a chance. No, Mrs. J was on to his tricks and had planned to stand right there with him while he used it for the first time.
The first load into that chipper would be some pine cones. Now, have you ever seen what a chipper does to a pine cone? Typically, you end up with pine cone dust. Every so often, one will get stuck in the chipper, spinning around some and making this odd whackity sound. You get two options then. Cut the machine off and reach down to get it out, or grab a big stick and poke at the cone till it goes into the machine. God forbid should you miss and poke the blades, because the machine will beat you half to death. Oh, and don't be so stupid as to reach in there with the blades turning. That would be bad. Very bad.
(For those that have guessed what happens next, please sit still and don't tell the others.)
The big day come and the machine was running swimmingly. Pine cones of all sizes and shapes were going into the machine, along with a ton of other bits and pieces of yard trash. At some point, a tin can went into the machine, producing a rather nice shredded aluminum effect as it blew in the wind. Picking up a bit more yard trash, Frank tossed it in just as the cat came by and ran around his legs. The next thing anyone knew [CENSORED FOR GRAPHIC NATURE]. By the time they realised what had happened and tried to turn the machine off, it was far too late. Muffy was gone, only a few hairs left wafting in the wind to tell of her passing.
Muffy was a simple little cat, pure bred persian with the papers to match. When it came to life, Muffy had everything she wanted and then some. Usually at the cost of her owner's husband. To say Frank hated the cat, well that'd be putting things mildly. Twice, Frank had found a reason to carry the cat off and drop it out. Both times, Muffy foiled his plot by returning a few days later. Yes, Muffy was what some call a smart cat, until that one fateful day...
So what exactly happened? In her brief, Mrs. J claimed that the machine had murdered Muffy, and that it was the store's fault. No one had warned her how dangerous the machine the machine was, and how nothing should be put in it that they didn't want in it. Plus, they should have warned her that if anything living had gone into the machine, it sure as heck wasn't coming out that way.
Supposedly, the same day she filed that case in court; she also filed for divorce claiming that Frank had quote "Never liked the cat in the first place."
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yeah, I've embelished the story a good deal. The original account was that a customer bought a wood chipper, and through a freak accident, killed their cat. They then tried to claim that the accident (wholly a freak that would not likely have happened if the lady hadn't held the cat too close to the machine when it was on) was the store's fault and then sued for damages. Supposedly, she actually won the case.
This sighting comes to me from an old college friend who swears up and down it's true. He's a lawyer, so I doubt he'd lie...bend the truth maybe, but lie?
Kidding aside, I myself first heard this story when working for Lowe's. They gave it to us as a horror story of what can happen when you don't properly explain the workings of a machine to a customer. (names are made up, story is real)
Mrs. Johnson was the type of woman who thought her husband needed to always be out doing something. Sure, it didn't matter that he was half disabled from an accident at work; if he wasn't out of the house working, she wasn't happy. Mrs. J also had a habit of hers. She loved to buy yard tools. It didn't matter the type, or the kind. If it was new and whistled, she wanted it. Had to have it really.
One day, while wandering through her local home improvement store, Mrs. J happened upon something she had never seen the likes of before. It was small, squat and the cutest red color she had ever seen. Turning to the employee, she beamed. "Why that's the cutest little thing. I must have one." The employee blinked, but shrugged and sold it to her. The thing, was the latest woodchipper. Not those kinds you buy off of that TV commercial. Oh no, this thing was a real chipper. Big enough that it took up the whole of her little shed. The lawnmower and tractor would have to be out in the rain, since this thing needed the space.
We don't know how he felt at the time, but we can suppose that Frank (her husband of thirty years) wasn't pleased to see this thing. No, that chipper meant more work. Unless, maybe he could happen to break it. That was a tactic that had worked in the past for him, but this time he wouldn't have a chance. No, Mrs. J was on to his tricks and had planned to stand right there with him while he used it for the first time.
The first load into that chipper would be some pine cones. Now, have you ever seen what a chipper does to a pine cone? Typically, you end up with pine cone dust. Every so often, one will get stuck in the chipper, spinning around some and making this odd whackity sound. You get two options then. Cut the machine off and reach down to get it out, or grab a big stick and poke at the cone till it goes into the machine. God forbid should you miss and poke the blades, because the machine will beat you half to death. Oh, and don't be so stupid as to reach in there with the blades turning. That would be bad. Very bad.
(For those that have guessed what happens next, please sit still and don't tell the others.)
The big day come and the machine was running swimmingly. Pine cones of all sizes and shapes were going into the machine, along with a ton of other bits and pieces of yard trash. At some point, a tin can went into the machine, producing a rather nice shredded aluminum effect as it blew in the wind. Picking up a bit more yard trash, Frank tossed it in just as the cat came by and ran around his legs. The next thing anyone knew [CENSORED FOR GRAPHIC NATURE]. By the time they realised what had happened and tried to turn the machine off, it was far too late. Muffy was gone, only a few hairs left wafting in the wind to tell of her passing.
Muffy was a simple little cat, pure bred persian with the papers to match. When it came to life, Muffy had everything she wanted and then some. Usually at the cost of her owner's husband. To say Frank hated the cat, well that'd be putting things mildly. Twice, Frank had found a reason to carry the cat off and drop it out. Both times, Muffy foiled his plot by returning a few days later. Yes, Muffy was what some call a smart cat, until that one fateful day...
So what exactly happened? In her brief, Mrs. J claimed that the machine had murdered Muffy, and that it was the store's fault. No one had warned her how dangerous the machine the machine was, and how nothing should be put in it that they didn't want in it. Plus, they should have warned her that if anything living had gone into the machine, it sure as heck wasn't coming out that way.
Supposedly, the same day she filed that case in court; she also filed for divorce claiming that Frank had quote "Never liked the cat in the first place."
-----------------
yeah, I've embelished the story a good deal. The original account was that a customer bought a wood chipper, and through a freak accident, killed their cat. They then tried to claim that the accident (wholly a freak that would not likely have happened if the lady hadn't held the cat too close to the machine when it was on) was the store's fault and then sued for damages. Supposedly, she actually won the case.
Actually, this could mean many cs stories but there is one in particular that has become a legend in its own right and in is really unbelievable that actually did happen.
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