The Domicile of Despair (long, epic, get your popcorn)

[RealUnimportant]

One bowl of de-olived pasta & a slice of dump cake please!

This is an epic read; I look forward to the next chapter

[ralerin]

Please tell me that Slumlord didn't kill the cat. Kyo = my kind of cat. Big, furry, yellow monster. Dunno if he is/was a lapcat, but he looks like one.

[lupo pazzesco]

Really - you're gonna leave it there?

*wanders off to find Lupo, to help plan the next guilt trip*

woman, I am sleep deprived, and operating on 5 1/2 hours of sleep avg a night for the last 3, and still have 3 more shifts @ music fest plus one more day at the office ..... its not very safe to build me up and leave me hanging... i'm just saying....

WONDERGUILT POWERS, ACTIVATE!!!


...


Well, that didn't work...Treasure did you use the right ring? Did I? Wait, do we even HAVE WonderGuilt power rings...? I'm so confused!! LOOK WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO ME, SERAPH!!


*attempts subliminal messages*

PART FIIIIIIIIIVVVEEE!!! YOU WANNA POST PART FIVE!!

Failing that, I'mma leave gentle reminders wherever I can. Off to do so!!

[Dilorenzo]

Noooooo I just read through all of this there can't not be more here... I think that's right. Get to it!

[dalesys]

Noooooo I just read through all of this there can't not be more here... I think that's right. Get to it!

You realize, all the preliminary episodes are free samples...

Bogdamn the pusher ma'am!


...Starin' at the boob tube, turnin' on the big knob, tryin' to find some life in the wasteland...

[cashierbex]

We want more. We want more

[Seraph]

PART FIVE GUYS BURGERS

So as we approach, Slumlord points to the door, and grinning the whole time, informs me that today they have decided to remind all tenants of clauses in their contracts. I'd best check it on over, as I wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of things. He walks away, and Rex is doing his best impression of a dog trying to be in two places at once. Poor pooch.

We set Kyo and my stuff inside, and after I said thanks and goodbye, look over the paper.

Slumlord has so nicely typed up a flyer reminding EVERY tenant that pets are not allowed, and that any damage that they find from one, will result in a large fine. My flyer has an extra bonus of a highlighter on large fine, with a happy face drawn in the margin.

Oh boy.

I walk on down to the office, and as I do, I notice a lot of other residents are going too, and they are allll holding the flyer. None have highlighter, though. Hm, personal touch.

I wait in line to talk to him, and when its eventually my turn, I ask why this is, especially as I had gotten permission from him.

“Oh, I don't know what you're talking about. Did you get this written down?”

Oh man, hello barrel, excuse me a second while I get over you.

On my way out, one of the desk ladies comes over to me, hugs me, and says she's so sorry for it all, and that I just need to give them plausible deniability, that's the only reason why he's acting that way.

I confess I wasn't the nicest person at that point, and told her that I didn't care, he lied to me, and that was completely wrong, and walked off. I thought about what she said, though.

Well, maybe I can try and keep him a secret.....

I walk back to my room, and Kyo's already settled himself in the window, and is attracting a rather amusing crowd of people pointing and going “OMG HUGE CAT.”

Yeah that plan's toast now.

CG comes on over again, and tells me that Slumlord asked him what the heck he was doing associating with me. He said he liked hanging out with me. Slumlord shrugged and walked off, shaking his head.

Awww crud, don't bring HIM into it too. Le sigh.

I invite CG over for some dinner and video games as a thank you for all he's done, and he says sure thing.


Well, dinner and video games go past, I'd managed to make brownies in a little pan with a toaster oven, and everything. We ended up playing 101 matches of Soul Caliber 2 (51-50, me) , and then afterwards, laughed our heads off about how competitive we were getting.

I went to go put some of the dishes on the counter, and he stood up, holding the brownie pan. I turned around to take it from him, and about laughed when I noticed that he was holding it up in front of his face, halfway hiding it.

Almost laughed, until I noticed that he was obviously nervous.

My future husband asked me out on our first date while hiding behind a brownie pan. True love at first sight, I tell you. I don't know if it was him, or the chocolate, though.

Probably the chocolate.



Months go past, and CG and I end up dating happily, and I ignored most of the problems that came up during our happy courtship.

The frat started to take over the dorm, and I didn't really notice.

A guy who I was acquainted at college with managed to ask Slumlord for a copy of a key to my apartment, and was given it. I came home to find him standing in my room. CG was with me, though, so I didn't really think about the potential OMG THIS IS WRONG of it all. I had CG with me, woo!

Slumlord was watching us through his blinds every time we came back from dates, being out of town, etc. I didn't care, didn't think about it. CG, woo!!

Love blinds you to a lot of things going on around you, but Slumlord was about to shatter those rose-colored glasses.

-End of Part Five bwahahahahahaha-

[Kanalah]

...and now I want some five guys.

[Seraph]

You should. Best. Burgers. Evah.

[Kanalah]

Burgers? Bwuh?

One guy to babysit the kids
One guy to make me some noms
One guy for backrubs
....

[Seraph]

LMAO! Shame on you, almost choked on my food.

[LillFilly]

Ok, I read all of these in one sitting, and I want to know what happened to the guy who got a key to your apartment! I mean, you shouldn't be able to get a key without being on the lease....Ah, again I forget what site I'm on and almost bowed to common sense.

I WANNA HEAR MORE! MOOOOAAAARRRRRR!

[XCashier]

A guy who I was acquainted at college with managed to ask Slumlord for a copy of a key to my apartment, and was given it. I came home to find him standing in my room.

WHAT?! The landlord gives a random guy the key to a woman's apartment?!?! Ohhh, please tell me you got him in serious hot water for this! That is all kinds of wrong!

Holy moly, that Evil Landlord is overdue for a Karmic Smackdown, I sincerely hope he got one!

[Seraph]

Ok, I read all of these in one sitting, and I want to know what happened to the guy who got a key to your apartment! I mean, you shouldn't be able to get a key without being on the lease....Ah, again I forget what site I'm on and almost bowed to common sense.

Well, he was someone who I hung out with occasionally, and he came over one day looking for me, but I was out with CG. So he went up front, and asked for a key, so he could wait for me at my place. Slumlord, being Slumlord, gave him one.

Guy, to this day, probably doesn't realize how bad that could've been, if it was someone NOT friendly towards me. He was all "its me, who cares."

But yeah, in a nutshell, they were more than willing to give complete strangers a key to my place.

Nice, eh?

[PawnPrincess Ardra]

OMG Seraph.. this is a terrible tease. NEED MOAR STORY

I mean... this is fantastic! Please write the next installment soon? :-D