Sucky Bus Patrons

[SecurityWench]

Backstory! I do not own a car. Thus, when I want to get places, I take the bus. I normally don't mind taking the bus, and today was a day I greatly enjoyed. Free Comic Book Day at my local shop, and lunch in Chinatown. But the times in between left a lot to be desired.

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Dear Bitchy Lady with Young Child,

The bus driver has a schedule to maintain. He cannot keep the bus stopped while you and your child find a seat on the bus. Shouting at him to wait and how you're too old to be standing up on a moving bus and how your child needs to find a seat over and over will not change this. Also, shouting at people to find out where they're going and then hounding them that their stop is coming up and that you know every stop since you've lived in Austin 56 years makes me think you have a mental disorder.

Kindly STFD and STFU,
Me

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Dear Lady Who Has to Make Things Difficult,

Your bus pass was so old and wrinkly that it did not swipe properly in the machine. It happens. But they have a handy dandy stamp on them that proved the pass was still valid. The driver said to go ahead and sit down, don't worry about it. He continued to say this EIGHT TIMES while you ignored him and kept trying to use it. You also tried continuously to stick it in a slot where it would get stuck and jam the pass inside, enough so that he had to pull the damn bus over and cover it up with his hand so you wouldn't be stupid enough to do so.

You eventually started to scream at him "I'm just trying to pay you! You're making me very uncomfortable, sir!" And you're making ME very uncomfortable by screaming all over the bus and not just sitting the fuck down and getting a free ride. Seriously, what the fuck?

No love,
Me

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Dear Homeless Guy,

There are plenty of other seats on this bus. Why did you sit by me? Why are you leaning into me? Why are you putting your hand on my leg? You smell terrible.

Bad touch and needing an adult,
Me

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I hate taking the bus sometimes. -_-

[MoonCat]

The last one, ewwww....

I take the bus everywhere, too. Some bus riders are just, um..."special," aren't they?

[Food Lady]

Ugh. I don't miss my bus-riding days. I will drive my car until it dies, or I do.

[fireheart]

I tend to do a mix of taking the bus and driving. Specifically, if I have plans to make trips to multiple locations, generally if they're accessible by bus or train, I will just ride the bus or train instead of driving.

I have encountered a few special people myself: the worst case involved a guy plonking his butt down next to me on the train. Not so much of a problem in itself, I moved more towards the window, sending a clear message: DO NOT GET CLOSE TO ME YOU ARE CREEPY. He continued to do it. I had to move because he was so god-damn creepy. Thankfully I got off before he did and I flashed him a glare of doom as I got off the train.

[PepperElf]

stranger starts doing that to me and he might lose the hand

[Zellie Crescent]

About the creepy guy in the last story: eww! Total gross out, if it were me I would've yelled "get the fuck off me!" and my fist would've helped him swallow his teeth. I do NOT like to be touched at all, unless I give you permission don't invade the bubble. I've actually had people call me a very rude person and a bitch because when they went to (or actualy have) touched my arm or shoulder I jerked away like I was being burned.

[Juggler]

I saw some British comedian who had a great idea to keep people from sitting next to you. Instead of putting something on the seat or trying to be scary just wink and pat the seat as someone approaches.

[NoMoreRetail]

I got one for you. I don't ride the bus but I heard about it on the news. An old man called the local station because a women was uh "servicing" a man in the seat next to where he and his 5 year old granddaughter were sitting.

[wagegoth]

I saw some British comedian who had a great idea to keep people from sitting next to you. Instead of putting something on the seat or trying to be scary just wink and pat the seat as someone approaches.

That would probably only work for older men.

[rose_metal_nz]

I saw some British comedian who had a great idea to keep people from sitting next to you. Instead of putting something on the seat or trying to be scary just wink and pat the seat as someone approaches.

Uh, I can see that working for males, but not females....

[Divra]

There's a magical phrase I use in situations like this: "Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal saviour?"

In most urban settings feigning religion keeps people away even better than feigning insanity.

[camjuniper]

In most urban settings feigning religion keeps people away even better than feigning insanity.

^Sure, it'll keep the noncrazies away, but all bets are off for crazies and creepsers.

I'm a no-car, bus-rider, too and I empathize with you. Awful bus EW you witnessed. Wrinkly Pass needs to learn to be gracious. I had a driver wave me on after a pass error once. I demurred once to be polite (and see if I could find my change). She insisted and I said thanks and sat down.

And gross on mr. creepy. I'm putting in my vote with the move or yell at him folks. Or both, maybe.

[Willis]

Dear Homeless Guy,

There are plenty of other seats on this bus. Why did you sit by me? Why are you leaning into me? Why are you putting your hand on my leg? You smell terrible.

Bad touch and needing an adult,
Me

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I hate taking the bus sometimes. -_-

OMG. I had this happen once. There was only about 5 people on the bus and this homeless man just HAD to sit right behind me. He did the whole homeless shuffle walking down the aisle, sit down, nope a good enough seat, choose another, nope. I turn my head and look out the window and who plops down behind me grunting? You guessed it. Had his giant garbage bag full of junk, smelled like a mixture of musky funk and pure shit, had this smirk on his face like he knew I didn't want him sitting near me. I have no problems chatting with people and am very personable. Even with homeless people. This guy was just too nasty and had an EW attitude like he was owed something the moment he set foot on the bus.

[telecom_goddess]

I find issues tend to group themselves. One week it will be nothing but stinky people every fucking day. Naturally next to me, I feel tainted just having them near me. Another week it will be people who INSISTS on making the most disgusting sniffling/snorfling/honking/hawking sounds EVER and possibly spit as a bonus. Another week it will be toddlers screaming at the exact right pitch that threatens to rip a hole in your ear drum.

I'm just glad I'm usually taking the bus/max during commute hours when that population is at least down somewhat. And I try to keep to the trains I know will be less crowded because it has a shorter run, but still goes where I need it to.

[smileyeagle1021]

There's a magical phrase I use in situations like this: "Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal saviour?"

that is a dangerous play... they may just be up for a debate on why their interpretation of Jesus Christ is more correct than yours and if you don't agree with them by the time one of you get off the bus you will surely go to hell (I have seen people use that line and have it backfire horribly).