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Ah, yes, this is why I avoid movie theaters, isn't it?

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  • Ah, yes, this is why I avoid movie theaters, isn't it?

    Aside from my occasionally crippling fear of crowds, on Monday the wife and I decided to go see The Avengers. Just like going to see The Dark Knight on opening day, I knew there was going to be enough distractions to keep my from, well, freaking the hell out.

    We weren't as early as we coulda been, but we weren't late either. Heard from the parking lot behind us, as we're walking towards the theater, "what kind of losers go see comic book movies," directed at us. That wasn't the suck though - just a friend I hadn't seen in months going to see the same movie

    Anyway, we grab our tickets, head in, and the place is filling up fast. Only seats midway up the theater were seen by us, and taken. There's another couple who are sitting one seat away from us, but not actually up against the wall. So, wall, empty seat, filled, filled, empty, filled, filled. Not my problem - perhaps they have a crippling fear of walls as I do for crowds.

    Place continues to fill up, but movie hasn't started yet. Also fine. People get seats where they can, movie starts, everything is perfect (except that I can't have popcorn - damn intestines).

    Ten minutes in, an employee is walking up and down the aisles. Figure he's looking for anyone recording the movie. This is actually pretty standard practice for this place.

    But nope, he comes over to us and asks if anyone is sitting in either of the seats that're empty in our row. Tell him I'm not sure, as we're not with the other couple. Can you ask them to move, he asks.

    Now I'm starting to get annoyed. The movies on, jackass, and you are taking away from my precious Joss Whedon dialogue. I am missing things.

    No, I say, I'm not with them. Well, says the employee (rather than just scooching past the wife and I as she and I have both crouched back in our seats to allow him to do so), there's a couple looking for somewhere to sit. I go back to looking at the screen and paying attention to the movie - someone showing up ten minutes late to a packed movie doesn't get to pick and choose where they sit, and I no longer care.

    Employee goes ahead and asks the other couple to move. They do. Closer to us, proving my theory about crippling fear of walls.

    Even this minor annoyance isn't a big deal. I've missed a minute of the movie, but whatever.

    Employee comes back with the couple - who had not walked up and down the aisle on their own, by the way. They hadn't even looked for their own seats. Probably just instantly demanded that they be sat together.

    Couple then proceeds to walk through the row, to get to the end.

    Thanks so much for moving, says the guy, going first. Making a point to smack his legs into mine, mind you. Lucky he didn't get my bad knee. Makes a point to do this to all four people on the way down. Girl comes in next. Oh, she's ever so grateful that we took our precious time to let their late asses in. Same deal. Bang, bang, bang, legs all the way down.

    The space between rows isn't small in this place either. Plenty of room for you to get your skinny asses by without slamming into me. Nice and passive aggressive.

    Anyway, settle back down, enjoy the hell out of the movie. Credits start, and I'm not moving. I know how these Marvel movies work.

    Oh, what's this, people sitting at the end? You now want to get out? Well damn, sorry about this, but my knee seems to be bothering me now, something about it getting jolted around screws it up. I really can't go straightening it out til I'm ready to get up, because it's just going to cause me a lot of pain. Sit back down, enjoy the credits?

    Oh, you're in a hurry? Shame that.

    ...

    Rather, I wish that's how it ended. Instead I was in too good a mood from the movie and let them scarper out without incident. But it's not as good an ending this way
    Last edited by Dilorenzo; 05-10-2012, 05:48 PM. Reason: Hit post too quick because of work like stuff.

  • #2
    Just wondering why it's suddenly your responsibility to ask a pair of perfect strangers to move ...

    Yeah, sorry, you're late to the movie, you sit where there's seats. Unless there's a really good reason for me to move (and "we want to sit together" ain't it), late-comers are in the "beggars can't be choosers" file as far as I'm concerned.

    Things like this, and chronic talkers, are why I rarely go to the theatres anymore. Oh, and extortionate prices, yes, that too ...

    However, I think I'll make an exception for the Dark Shadows movie.

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    • #3
      That's one the main reasons I rarely go opening week for movies unless it's on a night I get cheaper and most people don't.

      Theatres tend to want to sell to as many people so they often have rooms with people sitting like you guys. People, space, people, space. I always prefer a space next to me lol.

      Anyway, usher is just doing their job. Though why couldn't that couple ask you themselves? I would have if I had been late (which is rare since we're picky about seats, sis loves wall and I'm deaf in my left ear).

      If that couple did that leg thing to me, they'd have gotten tripped. You're doing them a favor and they act like that? Tripped.

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      • #4
        Roomie and I decided last minute on Friday to go see Avengers so when we got there we asked which was the next showing in 3D that wasn't sold out. We walked into the theatre during the previews we were that close to the showing time. It took a few minutes to find 2 seats together. Unfortunately they were in the second row all the way to the left so they weren't great (I prefer all the way to the back and dead center) but we took what we could find and totally enjoyed the movie. We missed the second of the 2 bonus scenes so we have to go back and watch it again. Yay.
        Driver Picks the Music, Shotgun Shuts His Cakehole.
        Supernatural 9-13-05 to forever

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        • #5
          Quoth Slayer View Post
          Anyway, usher is just doing their job. Though why couldn't that couple ask you themselves?
          Agree with you on both of these points - problem was the couple never came up the row. Only people who did were an entire family, who, well, were good enough to take separate seats because that's what there was. They must have just instantly gone to the usher.

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