Oh My God! Tram-AM-poline! TRAMPAMPOLINE!!!!

[I am the Lizard Queen!!]

So, I'm at a hardware/home improvement store, standing in line at customer service to pick up a replacement kit for a gate that was missing a few vital pieces. (Hinges??? bah!!! For wusses!!! Bring me gum and thumb tacks!!!!).
I was waiting for someone to bring me out my new kit but the store was swamped, so things were taking quite a while. So, I'm being patient, enjoying the air conditioned splendour and chatting with my friend when this woman barges to the head of the line holding a folder full of papers. She totally buttonhooks to the left and steps in front of me, hands the folder to the CS rep and says, (in this, I can't even really describe it, but she was trying very hard to give the impression that she was thisclose to losing her patience with all of the idiots around her, so everyone had better just bow down and kiss he polyester ass STAT voice. So...yeah. Made me want to jam my thumb in her ear)
Anyway, let's call her Loopy Trampoline Bitch, shall we?
LTB: "I will give this to YOU to take care of". She folds her arms and stares down the CSA and I swear, even the back of her head looked smug at this point.
CSA: "ummmm...I'm sorry ma'am, are these physiotherapy receipts?"
LTB: "YES! They are bills that YOU are going to reimburse me for, because of my son's injuries"
(Ok, I admit, at this point, I just got this rush of......like...this is going to be so awesome. I am so lucky to be here for this)
CSA: ???????
LTB: I was never warned of the safety hazards of buying a trampoline and my son pulled a ligament in his leg and is on CRUTCHES!!!!
(heh. Oh man. Just..thank you to whatever benevolent god organizes these things. All my Christmases at once! Thank you Jeebus!!!)
CSA: I'm sorry ma'am, we do have a warranty on the trampoline itself, but we can't be held responsible for any injuries that occur , unless they are caused by faulty equipment.
LTB: But it WAS faulty! It had to be because there is no way that my son should suffer life altering injuries that will permanently affect his future just because he and his brothers were jumping on this trampoline.
(Another CSA shows up with my replacement gate. I look at him like, "what are you, HIGH? Put it down my friend. Watching this is MUCH more important! Come. Relax")
So...essentially, the story emerges that no, there was nothing wrong with the trampoline at all, but this little kid and 4 of his brothers were all jumping on a trampoline at the same time (awww, remember "Crack the Egg?" That was awesome. But deadly, no?) and the kids lands badly on his leg, pulls a ligament and is SCARRED FOR LIIIIIIFE!!!!! PREMANENTLY!!!! SCARRRRRRED!!!!!!
By the time I left, there was a manager involved who was pretty much scoffing and cackling openly at this lady in disbelief, so I'm really hoping she doesn't get the outcome she was looking for.

[Taurus52]

They do come with the safety warning: One jumper at a time, adult supervision req'd

[I am the Lizard Queen!!]

Yep. But that wasn't good enough for this lady. She should have encased her special guy in bubble wrap! Or, I don't know, encouraged him to use some common sense!!

[Jay 2K Winger]

I don't recall anyone ever coming back to the wholesale club and pulling this routine with the trampolines we sold. Then again, our trampolines came bundled with the safety netting that you could set up around the trampoline so that the kids wouldn't go rocketing off to the side and tear their ligaments or break their bones like that.

Lady, injuries happen. Yes, even to your pwecious widdle boy. Sorry 'bout your damn luck.

[ApolloSZ]

I imagine I'd have the same reaction. The "oh this is going to be good, call work tell'em I'll be late" reaction XD I may have even said "sorry mam, these purchases weren't made at our store, so I cannot refund you" if I was the cashier.

I'm of mixed minds on trampolines. On one hand the pads and nets are good and safe. On the other hand I used to have a big rectangular one without all that. And we did crack the egg, double bouncing etc.

Maybe I should go dig up receip- oh wait, if I got injured doing that it was cos I was a dumbass, not because I didn't have enough bubblewrap on. Sigh.

[AmbrosiaWriter]

"I sued Duracell; They never told me not to shove that double-A right up my nose,
I sued Home Depot, 'cos they sold me a hammer, which they knew I might drop on my toes!"

[I am the Lizard Queen!!]

I'm pretty sure most trampolines have the safety-net thingy nowadays, and yes, it's because they are freaking dangerous!!!! If your kid gets injured while reading a comic book or playing with a stuffed animal or gazing at a poster of Justin Bieber then by all means, go ahead and complain, because heck, that'd be pretty unusual.
But you know what? Kids fall off bikes. They fall down on skates. They get hit in the face with soccer balls. It sucks, but cripes lady, if it's that traumatic then don't let them play on the thing. Give your kid some edible paste and dull scissors (The children are right to laugh at you, Ralph. These things wouldn't cut butter!)
I'm having a flashback of my brother skate boarding off of our roof. Did he hurt himself? Hell yes. Did he deserve it? Absolutely! Would my parents have even considered complaining to the store where they bought the skateboard?
C'mon. That's stupid.
************************************************** ***************

And suing Duracell? Silly.
Petco, on the other hand; well, who wants kitty litter breath?? There SHOULD be a warning !

[PepperElf]

yah but it's the poplar thing these days among helicopter parents & EWs... don't tell your kids "well that's what happens when you goof off". go to the store and blame the employees instead!

[raudf]

Okay, as a certified klutz and as a child, a worse one that tripped over her own blasted feet... If it wasn't a trampoline, it'd have been a fall from a tree or a trip over that expensive jungle gym/swing combo you bought them. It might even be that nasty paper-like cut from the bubble wrap. Kids get hurt, fact of life. They learn from their wounds, as you obviously didn't.

I survived my childhood.. and look each scar is a fun reminder to NOT BE STUPID SPARKY.

And this is from someone who trained her firstborn to the words, "Life lesson." If it's not deadly, I'm not gonna stop you from pulling your own stupids. You'll learn more surely from it.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Silly woman. All she had to do was pound a stake in the ground reading "CAUTION."

Or failing that, attach a bike lock to the trampoline so somebody would steal it (All right! Got me a bed!)

Ahh, maybe she just should've gone with the sixty soiled mattresses.

[I am the Lizard Queen!!]

At least she didn't bring home any more used crutches!!!!

[MoonCat]

OK, fantasy time:

"I will give this to YOU to take care of".

Employee: Certainly, ma'am. I will take care of these. (Turns around, dumps them into the nearest metal trash can, pulls out lighter, sets receipts on fire. Turns back to customer). Anything else I can help you with?

[Lovecats]

OK, fantasy time:



Employee: Certainly, ma'am. I will take care of these. (Turns around, dumps them into the nearest metal trash can, pulls out lighter, sets receipts on fire. Turns back to customer). Anything else I can help you with?

Oh, I love it!

[bainsidhe]

I'd like to point out that injuries on a person's property are often handled by Homeowners policies. I suggest she call her insurer STAT and explain how she has a trampoline without proper netting and that an injury resulted. Yep, and then she'll see her premiums drastically increase.

No joke. I know someone whose insurer told them to lose the trampoline or they'd be dropped from the insurance.

[Lyse]

Not a comment on the thread, but the title: it actually caused me to burst out laughing. My roommate asked what was so funny, but didn't get it when I read it to her. (great roommate, awesome best friend - but sadly, not a Simpsons fan)