Dowel straightener

[BeeMused]

At the university computing center where I worked as a student, we told visitors about the bit-matter. The punchcard reader needed it, you know... it oozed through the holes in the cards and took the information to the mainframe. In PCs it's used to transfer data, and this is why the network cabling needs to be connected properly, or the bit-matter will spill out and it's very sticky too.
We would send newbies to empty the bit bucket at the router or to fetch the bit tweezers .

[Crossbow]

BeeMused, don't even get me started on what we'd do to the computer newbs in college. Some of them even worked in the labs with us.

[dalesys]

Hubs: "Yeah, I need some dowel straightener." *holds up bent dowel*

That's when you say, "Honey, I'm the only one allowed to straighten your dowel!"

[bhskittykatt]

My Dad once pulled something similar on my mom. She wanted to be nice and make him a pie. She asked what his favorite flavor was and went the the store to find the ingredients. She went to three different stores and couldn't find the main ingredient anywhere. In fact, every time she asked for help the produce guys laughed.

My Dad had told her that his favorite pie was a Dingleberry pie.

LOL! That reminds me of this Russell Peters sketch (link NSFW) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDnDTpTgC5w

[Der Cute]

Actually, sand paper can straighten it - depends on the warp, and if you want to use glue to fill in the gap when you sand the stick down.
I had to do that in woodshop. No dowel fit the hole I wanted. Or vice versa. So I picked a dowel within 1/8 of an inch, and sanded the fuckers. 3. Did it well enough the sticks fit, and would actually roll straight. I feel kinks with my fingers. Easily :P

But I have had to search for the elbow grease.

[greek_jester]

Many years ago a friend of mine got asked to go to the DIY store & get some Striped paint that was on order. Naturally he told the guy to get stuffed (politely). Turns out that Stripe was the brand name & the guy had ordered about 30 litres in specially...

[Shironu-Akaineko]

We got the tartan paint gag too, and one I've always wanted played on me but they never tried: fetch a bucket of steam from Mickey D's.

Probably cuz I would have used Dry Ice.

[wolfie]

My favourites:
- A box of grinding sparks (Rugz's answer: "So, what colour did you want?")
- A tub of elbow grease
- Headlight fluid
- A left handed screwdriver/hammer/etc
- A long weight (wait).

I'd like to see someone bring in a 10 pound spool of solder (the smaller the diameter, the better).

Anyone know why I can never find the President's Choice kosher shrimp ring that was advertised in the latest Insider's Report? I've got the $1 off coupon from a bottle of President's Choice halal bourbon.

[dendawg]

I'd like to see someone bring in a 10 pound spool of solder (the smaller the diameter, the better).

Seems to me like a 10 pound roll of solder would be easiest to find in the UK.

[Plague*Star]

Has anyone been asked for white ink for their printers?

I frequently get asked for "black and white ink cartridges"

P*S

[Pizzacommando]

We frequently get newbies by telling them they put the pepperonni on upside down

[DeltaSierra]

My Dad got me when I was a teen telling me to pick up some blinker fluid.

I love the DVD rewinder one!!

[Dadeo]

I once found an employee putting "Be Kind - Rewind" on the DVD cases. This was when they first came out, he was told that the stickers were to be put on all rental cases. Never occurred to him what he was doing.

When I worked as an electric, we'd get the PAs to sort the C-47s (clothespins used to attach gels to lights) into C-47A:strong, C-47B:medium, C-47C:weak.