Not My SC but an Intervention

[NCO]

Had to pick up a few groceries this morning so I went to the K-named grocery chain closest to my home. Nice folks there and that grocery chain is a corporate sponsor of a gun rights group in Georgia.

Black t-shirt, cargo pants, Bates boots. XD .45 in a SERPA holster on my right.

As I approached the doors, there was a local "character" standing by the bike rack talking loudly to himself, cussing up a storm. He wasn't on a phone, no earpiece either, he was just carrying on. He looked right at me as I walked by him and kept right on with the G-D's and M-F's and other creative obscenities.

Got my shopping done and went outside to walk to my truck. He was out in the parking lot walking up and down the lanes cussing loudly, very loudly. There were women and kids in the parking lot hearing all of this. That is one thing that just really bothers me, I may cuss (trying to stop) but NEVER in the presence of ladies or children. And this guy was getting himself worked up the more he cussed and ranted and waved his arms. He passed me in another lane walking back to the store. I put my bags in my truck and watched him for a bit, then walked back to the store to alert management.

He was back by the bike rack as I approached the doors and saw the pistol on my hip. Dude thought I was a cop because he started talking to me about how he respects the law. I said "sir, you're out here cussing up a storm in front of women and children, you need to stop." That only got a lot of incoherent rambling from him so I just walked past him to go into the store. He immediately walked right up to me to follow me in, getting very into my personal zone, and I put up my hand and said "stop! stay back!"

"oh yes sir! yes sir! I respect the law! I'll wait right here! <incoherent>"

Well of course he followed me in anyway and then just wandered around the front babbling on to anyone who would listen but at least he ratcheted down the cussing.

I went to the customer service counter and told an employee to go get a manager. Got the usual slow walk and apathy but I happened to see the unit manager around the corner so I went over to him. I explained what was going on and pointed out the guy, who had by then walked over to the customer service counter. The manager confronted him and I moved behind the guy to flank him. Apparently he'd wanted to buy some food and neither of us could understand the rest. The manager told him to shut up, pay for his food, and then leave. It took the dude at least 5 minutes to dig out various amounts of coins and bills and pay, and of course give the girl at the counter an earful but at least he didn't cuss or act threatening.

I didn't bother telling the dude I'm not a cop. Didn't tell him I WAS one either. I just let him think what he wanted to since apparently it had calmed him down somewhat. I did tell the manager very quietly that I'm not a cop but I was going to stick around until the dude left just to make sure nothing happened, and he was glad for that.

He got done paying for his bottle of soda and pack of cookies (like he REALLY needed all that sugar!) and then said "oh man! I forgot hot dogs! man I gotta get me some hot dogs!" The manager was having none of it and for the first time raised his voice "GO! NOW!" So with me following him, crazy dude headed for the exit, apologizing the whole way. We got outside and I said "listen man, you're wearing a shirt that talks about God, how do you think He feels about you cussing and taking His name in vain in front of women and children? you need to shut your mouth, leave, and go home and calm down!"

Believe it or not, that must have hit home because he left.

And as I walked to my truck, a few ladies in the parking lot who had witnessed the antics, applauded.

As I passed the guy, I considered rolling down my window and telling him to go to church, but dang I can just imagine him getting all worked up again on all that sugar and then getting all excited in one of the more vibrant churches in the area and thought better of it.

[Fudgethatkay]

Southern Justice.

I don't mind a man cursing in my presence, since I take it as a challenge then, but you handled the situation well.

[NCO]

Mods: sorry, didn't mean to post in the wrong section.

[PepperElf]

He wasn't on a phone, no earpiece either, he was just carrying on. ... And this guy was getting himself worked up the more he cussed and ranted and waved his arms.

Yeah that would have set the warnings off in my head too.

And I think you're right - that he thought you were a cop. And I agree, I think any parting comment might have set him off more. Cos if my instincts are correct and the man had any instability factors, that could be enough to override the "respect the law/cops" instincts he might have had.

Black t-shirt, cargo pants, Bates boots.

All that needs now is a bolt-face, LaRue, or Ranger up.

[Marszenka]

As a lady who does not appreciate cussing (I admit I let a few slip every now and then, fortunately not too many)... you're cool. ^^

Guy sounds totally insane. I don't think a church is really where he needs to go; he probably needs some sort of professional help.

[telecom_goddess]

I never understood that no cussing in front of a lady thing. Doesn't bother me, and if it does bother someone they kinda need to get over it. I can see in front of kids though, only cause they'd repeat it (not that *I* would know)

[Peppergirl]

Mods: sorry, didn't mean to post in the wrong section.

No problem. It happens.

[veniteangeli]

I never understood that no cussing in front of a lady thing. Doesn't bother me, and if it does bother someone they kinda need to get over it. I can see in front of kids though, only cause they'd repeat it (not that *I* would know)

I guess I'm at the opposite end of the spectrum. I could care less what "kids" hear, because that's up to their parents to either parent (explain that those are bad words and not to be repeated) or remove their children from the situation. Either way, not my kids, not my problem.

For the record, I'm not a huge cusser, myself. Maybe with friends, but not amongst mixed company when I don't know who I'm offending. (Rant communities notwithstanding, when I imagine that most people expect a little strong language contained within rants, and I generally warn for language most of the time anyway.)

Which brings me to my next point: I guess it runs along the same lines as "your kink is not my kink". Your offense is not my offense, and vice versa. As humans we're allowed to have differing opinions on what's offensive - and just because you don't find cussing offensive, doesn't mean the person standing next to you feels the same way. And I don't believe that anyone has the right to tell another person what they can be offended by. I don't believe that anyone has the right to tell another person to simply "get over it" when they're genuinely offended by something. You wouldn't tell a person of color to "get over" being called the N word, for an extreme example. You cannot know the extent of a stranger's experience with a certain word or slur. It is their right to be offended by whatever offends them, without anyone telling them they need to "get over" their offense.

So no - I don't think he should have been allowed to carry on. The difference between what he was doing and "free speech" protected speech, is that if he were merely ranting, then that's one thing, but once you start using words that are known to offend people (not everyone, but a good percentage), then you've entered the realm of hurting others. I don't believe anyone has the right to cause harm to any other person, by action or by speech.

Of course rant guy possibly didn't know what he was doing, but then other people, OP included, stepped in and put a stop to it. I think they were absolutely right to do so. If he were ranting about oranges, that's one thing. Once he's cussing and taking the Lord's name in vain, that's another level, and is no longer appropriate. Not because of "the kids omg" but because in public? You cannot know who you are offending. Save it until you're amongst friends or like minded people. Don't spout off to strangers.

[ozcatbug]

I never understood the "no swearing in front of women" thing. Guess it comes from being raised by a Scottish woman who could turn the air blue and a father that has sworn twice in front of me (the first was when he got battery acid in his eye and the second when he tore his calf muscle from moving a car on his own). And as the only female in a department that is generally considered "man's work" (repairing games consoles) I am used to the guys forgetting I'm there and saying stuff they generally wouldn't around women. Of course it is hilarious when they remember I'm there, get embarrassed and then apologise to me. Yes, it is hilarious as they try to outdo each other talking about their latest conquests, or the best lines to pick up. Remember those that talk about it the most probably don't get it.

However, I applaud the OP for standing up and telling the guy his ranting was not appropriate. I work in a warehouse. Hearing swearing and very colourful stories is not unusual, and if I really had a problem with it I wouldn't be working there. The rantings of a disturbed person that could very well have been dangerous, in such a public place as a supermarket, yeah that is not somewhere I want to be. I can't imagine what someone with kids or some elderly customers would think.

[PepperElf]

I know where you're coming from.

When I first got into the Navy, they were just starting to open up for females... so sometimes we'd get the guys who didn't know how to act around us, but we also had a lot who were of the attitude of "we have to change?" or "fuck if I'll change!". So ... I pretty much got very use to how guys talk & act when there's no women around.

I got to use to it that, for my second "C" school - after being in for almost 10 years - it felt ... weird... having instructors who would swear during class, and then look at me (the only female) and apologize. One of them stopped though after he heard me use "shit" in regular conversation*. I guess it dawned on him that I didn't need special consideration.

Still though... now that I'm in the south, I don't find fault if someone feels that it's mannerly to shut the potty mouth around me. It's not required, but I know it's how many people were raised to show respect. And even I try to watch my mouth around the little kids. And at roller derby events.


*this is also why I get mistaken for a guy online sometimes. even if I use girly names. Put an ambiguous name on me and I really confuse the fuck out of some people.

[NCO]

I guess it is just the Southron in me, cussing in front of ladies and children is incredibly rude and just not acceptable. I won't even cuss in conversation with a man I don't know, as it is rude. And I never cuss in front of customers, but I'm sure none of us do that (right? ha!)

[Lovecats]

I guess it is just the Southron in me, cussing in front of ladies and children is incredibly rude and just not acceptable. I won't even cuss in conversation with a man I don't know, as it is rude. And I never cuss in front of customers, but I'm sure none of us do that (right? ha!)

Except maybe under our breath or in our heads.

[malmalthekiller]

I understand that he seemed to be agitated, and it was a good thing to alert to management anyway, but I would find it rather irritating that somebody assumes that I don't want to hear cursing. I love cursing.

[Peppergirl]

I guess it is just the Southron in me, cussing in front of ladies and children is incredibly rude and just not acceptable. I won't even cuss in conversation with a man I don't know, as it is rude. And I never cuss in front of customers, but I'm sure none of us do that (right? ha!)

I love cursing, but I guess I'm old fashioned in that I do find it charming when a man watches his cursing in front of ladies. Even if I'm not a lady.

[EricKei]

There was a time, long ago, when I only cursed in front of family or really close friends, to the extent that people I just worked with looked at me funny if I DID curse, and took it as an indication that something was really, really wrong

As for family, where did you think I learned to use colorful language? One of Granny's favorite lines was "Don't curse, dammit!" *WHAP*