We can't fix the roof because...

[houdini]

Our office roof at work leaks. Has for the last ten years. A variety of solutions have been tried, from ignoring the employees who mention it to hoping it will go away. Nothing has worked.

They also challenged us about whether it was actually leaking (because gawd forbid that an employee tell the truth...), because whenever they come to look at it, it's not leaking! Cue general employee sigh. No, sir. It only leaks when it rains. Could you look outside and tell me if it's currently raining? No? Right, come back when it is, and then you'll get a demonstration.

Seriously, it's like Chinese water torture in the office.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
Pause ooh maybe it's stopped.....
Dripdrip.
ARGH!

A few months ago, a section in the actual workspace - where customers can see it! - started leaking. This, of course, got management moving at a suitably glacial pace, but at least it was movement.

However, while they were debating about the leak, they wouldn't provide buckets to go under it (because it isn't actually leaking, of course). So we emptied the office of waste paper bins (including mine) and they are currently filling with water every time it rains. Sigh.

Anyway. Because the leaking roof could damage stock and customers, it's getting fixed. We've had contractors and scaffolding and heavy stomping on the roof for the past few weeks.

We had an update yesterday. The work may go on for longer than planned...because they found evidence of leaks, and they'll have to fix them. They hadn't planned for fixing the leaks.

And it gets better.

They've finished one section of the roof (one that wasn't leaking to start with, thankfully, as it's over my office). The problem is, they couldn't test it to see if it does keep the water out...
...because it was raining.

[Marmalady]

Is your store part of a chain? because I have a feeling that we may be working for the same company......

[Merriweather]

Isn't there some old joke about monkeys with a leaking roof? They don't fix it when it's not raining cause it isn't leaking, and can't fix it when it's leaking cause it's raining.

[Racket_Man]

that sounds VERY familiar as my store has the same problem since they built the place a few years ago. I am waiting for massive structural failure as the leak is in a structural wall (with wood construction)

[Jay 2K Winger]

Oh, it's like at the wholesale club. It leaked every time it rained with any significant amount, and although we got the roof resurfaced at least once every two years, it STILL leaked-- in the SAME places.

Apparently the store's doing an overhaul of the roof now, and it doesn't leak as often anymore.

[Gizmo]

Anyway (snip) it's getting fixed.

They hadn't planned for fixing the leaks.

Ow... my brain!

I hate to ask this but.. what DID they plan to do?!

[Pixilated]

Sounds like my last employer as well. The staff under the leaky part of the roof said it didn't appear to be nice clear water leaking through, either ... and there was a really awful smell besides. But, you know, employees will make up these stories ...

[houdini]

Ow... my brain!

I hate to ask this but.. what DID they plan to do?!

Pl-an? What is this concept?

We did ask that question as well. My boss didn't know, and doesn't want to ask. I think it hurt his brain as well.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Isn't there some old joke about monkeys with a leaking roof? They don't fix it when it's not raining cause it isn't leaking, and can't fix it when it's leaking cause it's raining.

I think you're right.

We encountered similar logic back at one of the WD stores I worked at. Our roof in the back (in the Receiving area, no less) would leak every single time it rained.

And Dog help you if it was a heavy rain. If I were just coming in for the day (at around 6 a.m.) I'd walk back there to find a lake in front of the doors and spend at least an hour pushing the water out with a squeegee mop.

Or, on at least 2 occasions that I can recall, I would be cleaning up to leave for the day and the bottom would fall out of the sky and I'd have a waterfall at the doorway. I couldn't even see the doors, even with the heavy plastic strip curtains over them b/c the water would be pouring in OVER everything and it'd be Niagara Falls. Or, I could have simply grabbed some body wash and a pouf and took a shower right there - take your pick.

And of course, Mohair would send in the work order, someone would come in to check the roof . . . surprise, surprise, he couldn't find the leak.

But of course they couldn't come out when it was raining to see where the leaking was, because . . . well, it was raining.

Don't know if that roof ever got fixed or not before the store shut down for good though . . .

[EvilEmpryss]

You know, my daddy taught me a trick on finding roof leaks back when he owned a few rental properties: take a hose up on the roof, attach a sprinkler head to it, and let it run for an hour. Alternately, take a few buckets of water up to pour across the area with suspected leaks. Or, I don't know, backtrack from the stain on the ceiling to the point on the roof where the water is coming from.

Seriously, it's usually that simple. Why don't these "professional" contractors know this?

And Pixelated, your CWs had standing water on top of a leak. Ick!

[Argabarga]

Kinda like finding a leak from an engine...... look for the highest wet spot, cuz' stuff can't leak uphill.....

[houdini]

Stuff can't leak uphill...unless your engine has exploded. In which case you have slightly larger problems than a leak

[Pagan]

They also challenged us about whether it was actually leaking (because gawd forbid that an employee tell the truth...), because whenever they come to look at it, it's not leaking! Cue general employee sigh. No, sir. It only leaks when it rains. Could you look outside and tell me if it's currently raining? No? Right, come back when it is, and then you'll get a demonstration.

Sounds like the intermittent leak I had in my ceiling in my apartment. It would leak, I'd put in a work order. By the time the maintenance guy would come to look at it, it would have stopped leaking and they'd just leave a note that there was no leak....and fix the hole it had caused This went on for two years until finally it didn't stop dripping and I had a good amount collected in a bucket. When the maintenance guy showed up, he started giving me shit for not contacting the office sooner. I might have yelled at him a little that every time I did, I was told there was no leak and did he think I poked that hole in the ceiling myself? He seemed rather put out that I said "fine" when he said he was going to have to cut a hole in the ceiling to see what was going on. Maybe because he'd actually have to do some work for once?!

Isn't there some old joke about monkeys with a leaking roof? They don't fix it when it's not raining cause it isn't leaking, and can't fix it when it's leaking cause it's raining.

Haven't heard that. There is one that I think of when watching guys moving stuff up apartment stairs here. "Looks like two monkeys trying to fuck a football."

[Primer]

I still have stains and cracks in the sheet rock on my ceiling from my roof leaking about 9 years ago. My brand new roof of my brand new house. Which fell neither under manufacturer's warranty, nor under homeowner's insurance. I was just "that much" too late reporting it under m.w. as it took that long to develop--Texas droughts and all, and a roof that has been put on improperly is not covered under homeowner's. I had to pay for a new new roof out of pocket.

[Argabarga]

Stuff can't leak uphill...unless your engine has exploded. In which case you have slightly larger problems than a leak

Yes, the ol' "360 degree" leak is usually expensive to repair

And the whole "doesn't leak when we checked it, so it's not leaking" routine is eerily similar to a problem we had at work with one of the handheld radio batteries. It was old, and wouldn't hold a charge. You'd take it off the recharging rack, (where it was showing full charge) put it in the radio, it would work fine for about an hour or two, then it would die, well short of the 8 to 10 hours you SHOULD be getting out of a fully charged one. We complained to the manager that it needed replaced. He'd ask why. We'd tell him it would die after an hour of use and wouldn't hold a charge. He pulled it out of the charger, stuck it in HIS radio, turned it on, and said "Nope, my radio came on, it works' and put it back in the charger. We told him that he was not listening, the issue was it was working for about 1/10th as long as it should. He'd just repeat the same process, put it in his radio, turn it on, and if it powered up, he dismissed the complaint.

He finally replaced it when we wrote "JUNK" on it and threw it out.