I can't believe I did this...

[CatsLairArchives]

Picky Customer: Take your headphones off when you're working!
Me: *blinkblink* *points at self* Me?
PC: YES! I can't believe the staff here are so rude!
Me: *memory strike* Oh for... Lady, we've been here before. I do not work here.
PC: Bullshit! Get me your manager!
Me: Not only do I not work here, I don't work at all! Smeg off, I'm busy! *grumpily returning to my shopping*

You aren't a fan of Red Dwarf by chance?

PC: FIRE HER AT ONCE!! *grabs my bandaged wrist and yanks me towards the manager, HARD*

Did I mention I did self-defence for my school sport for two years and have managed to keep up with monthly lessons even when my health didn't really think it was a good idea ever since?

Me: *SCREAM of agony* *kicks woman in leg and punches her in the face with the good hand as she goes down* JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!
Manager: Holy shit! Are you alright?
Me: I'm pretty sure that counts as self defence, right? *cradling arm and swearing*
Manager: Pretty sure.

You punched a SC and got away with it???

Oooohhh, I think I love you.

[Rapscallion]

Tolly's not been online since October, last I looked.

Rapscallion

[NorthernZel]

Tolly? Are you okay? No recent posts.... omo

Anyone sent her a PM? Otherwise, I'd suspect that an eventual trial is ongoing, and the OP is therefore not allowed to post updates by the Court.

[Rock Lobster]

Oh dear I hope you have a good attorney! I would sue her crazy ass off!

[iPanda]

Tolly? Are you okay? No recent posts.... omo

[Gizmo]

Any update Tolly?

[MournBlade]

Holy crap apples Batman.
I hope you do get a restraining order and she ends up paying for all the shit she put you through.
Good job on the asswhuppin - she needed it, too bad she probably won't learn anything from it though.
Wishing everything works out for the best.

[An Haddock]

Inquiring minds wanna know. Is crazy woman going to have a bad Christmas?

[paxillated]

Bump... what news?

[cindybubbles]

Is everything OK, Tolly? We're all wondering what happened.

[Golden Phoenix]

Indeed, any updates?

*drifts off into a happy dream*

[cue dream sequence cut, for some reason everyone has fake mustaches, even the dog outside the courthouse]

Judge: I find you guilty of assault, you are to pay Tolly's medical costs, legal fees and also compensation.
Loon: But she's a terrible employee!!! Fire her!!!!!
Judge: And for being batshit crazy I sentence you to life in a loony bin where you will be made to take calls from helpdesks for the terminally stupid.
Loon: Fire her!!!!
Judge: Court dismissed!!!

[/dream sequence]

Mm? Wha?

[An Haddock]

Any updates, Tolly?

[PepperElf]

Maybe he was hoping she'd be half-asleep and would agree to it without thinking about it.

"zzzzz.... hurm hello?"
"Will you agree to drop charges against my client?"
"sure whatev... sleep good... zzzzz..."
"HAH! IT WORKED! VERBAL CONTRACT!"

good point, especially since you never know if the lawyer was recording. (some states don't require 2-party authorization, and if the lawyer was calling *from* such a state he can record it)

[Grrrrrrr]

Omg.

Tolly: all I can do is offer my most sincere sympathy and hopes for your wellness. This may not be that epic of replies, but I could not read this post without saying anything. I mean, damn. I am still trying to find that planet where it is all right for people to grab sales associates and jerk them by the arm when things do not go their way (sadly this is not the first like story I have heard) so I can tell them to please stop sending us all your old people.

I hope the wrist is better.

[An Haddock]

Called you at 10PM, offered you nothing, and just asked you to forget about it?

What, precisely, was he hoping to accomplish with that call?

If I were you, I'd talk to the DA handling the case and ask if there's a way to prevent the lawyer from calling you any more.

Maybe he was hoping she'd be half-asleep and would agree to it without thinking about it.

"zzzzz.... hurm hello?"
"Will you agree to drop charges against my client?"
"sure whatev... sleep good... zzzzz..."
"HAH! IT WORKED! VERBAL CONTRACT!"