The Family Tree or There isnt enough brain bleach in the world (NSFW)

[Sandiercy]

I work in an area of town where there is more than their fair share of homeless people. There is this one woman in a wheelchair that hangs around the front of the local 7-11 begging for money, I have given her random bits of change on occasion.

Me: Awesome Game Store manager out getting his Snaxy Waxies and drinky poos.
WW: Wheelchair woman, dressed poorly, missing most of the teeth in her mouth, about middle aged.

Me: *about to go into 7-11* Hey girl, hows it going?
WW: hey big guy, doing good. I just found out today that I have a 6 week old aunt.
Me: cool...
WW: ya, I have a crazy family tree... *and goes on to tell me about how her 2nd uncle is actually her grandfather and much more*
Me: I will be back shortly, I just need to grab some groceries.

2 mins later as I come out.

WW: So what did you think?
Me: Crazy family there!
WW: *Proceeds to tell me about her boyfriend's family which is just as messed up*
Me: I really should be going, I have to catch the bus.
WW: Just the other day, you know im Bi right, I was having a threesome with my boyfriend and another girl and afterwards we found out that it was my Boyfriend's daughter.
Me:

This episode leaves me with the desire for lots of to drown out the images that are chasing my fleeing braincells around my skull. I managed to leave at that point.

This is an SC because she has purchased things in my store before.

[Blue Ginger]

Thanks so much. Now I need but there is none in the house. aaaahhhhhhh!!!

[Draco]

So it's not really a family tree, but rather a bush with lots of interconnecting branches?

[LillFilly]

So it's not really a family tree, but rather a bush with lots of interconnecting branches?

BWAHAHAHAHA!!! Maybe family seaweed?

[PepperElf]

afterwards we found out that

So he didn't know who she was?

[barainga]

So he didn't know who she was?

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

[Golden Phoenix]

I have a certain fondness for confusing new friends by telling them "I'm my own aunt, my mum is my sister"

I let the confused expression sit for a second and then explain that my mother's parents adopted me Nothing weird going on.

Doesn't half make figuring out family relations confusing though Everyone has two relationships to me depending on your point of view, biological or adopted.

Bio father is also my brother in law. Bio mum is also my sister. Cousin is also my niece. I'm my own auntie. My Bio mum's new husband is both my step-father and also my brother in law.

Headachey

[depechemodefan]

Meh, I'm calling Bullshit on the 3-some; bet if she had more time she would tell you the daughter was Miley Cyrus or Kim Kardashian.

Though if it is true, hope it's not an underaged daughter.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

That's like listening to a live segment of Jerry Springer - minus the cat fighting and audience cheering.

[Cia]

I have a certain fondness for confusing new friends by telling them "I'm my own aunt, my mum is my sister"

I let the confused expression sit for a second and then explain that my mother's parents adopted me Nothing weird going on.

Doesn't half make figuring out family relations confusing though Everyone has two relationships to me depending on your point of view, biological or adopted.

Bio father is also my brother in law. Bio mum is also my sister. Cousin is also my niece. I'm my own auntie. My Bio mum's new husband is both my step-father and also my brother in law.

Headachey

My grandmother was in the same situation - her widowed mother gave her up to her paternal grandparents when she was two. So her aunts and uncles were legally her step-sisters and brothers. (Step-sisters cause the aunts were married to her paternal uncles.) The adoption was a sore spot for my grandma and I don't think she ever forgave her mother for "throwing her away".

[telecom_goddess]

I'm debating if I should go into my family dynamics.....

basically my mother was born in 1920. My sister was born in 1938. I was born in 1965....which means all but one of my nieces/nephews were older than me and had kids before I even grew up. I'm a great great aunt because of that long generational stretch.

[Chromatix]

Speaking of late children - my father was born in 1954, and my grandfather in 1901 - so he was the right age to serve in both World Wars (in the Navy, where you still end up on the front lines at a relatively advanced age if you're an officer). Yes, I believe Grandma was somewhat younger than him - but I don't know for certain because she didn't live anywhere near as long as he did.

On the other side, my maternal grandmother remarried after the war because she lost her first husband to it. She promptly had triplets, which must have been quite a shock.

Aside from that, my family tree is entirely normal, thank goodness.

[dalesys]

There're 26-28 years between my ex-wife's oldest and youngest daughters.

[Flyndaran]

My childhood friend came from a very large family that lived in the area. He had over 25 cousins. When asking a girl out, they had to do a virtual FBI background check to make sure they weren't closely related.
But as long as everyone involved is an adult, it's not any of our business.

[Kittish]

My family tree isn't anywhere near as confusing as Golden Phoenix, but I do enjoy causing people confusion by telling them about my two dads and two stepmoms. One dad is bio, the other is adopted, and they're both married to women who are not my bio-mother.